My Life In One Piece Part 2: Zoro Version
by Fuyutaro son
Summary: This is the Zoro version of part 2 of my fanfic 'My Life In One Piece'. Read that first before you read this.
1. Prologue : Once Upon A Time

**Chapter 1: Once Upon A Time**

**Summery:** It's one of THOSE stories, you know, girl falls into one piece, and destroys all of existence… OK… maybe not that last part… but she does irritate the hell out of Zoro.

**Disclaimer:** I am in no way associated with any legal rights to one piece in any form, I do not own one piece or any part of the merchandising, gaming, manga, anime, characters, or anything of the sort. Please do not sue me as I do not have any money. The only things that I own from this fic are my own original characters.

**A/N1: I KNOW ZORO IS ALSO CALLED ZOLO, **

**A/N2: Yep, this is the Zoro/Kaede version. As I said in the final chapter of 'My life in one piece', the first part, each of the 'part 2s' are going to be completely different from each other, that way you can read the ones you want to read and not have to worry about them sounding exactly the same with just the names substituted, because that would be boring. (I mean, come on, who wants to read the same thing over in over again just so that you can read the pairings that you like, that would just be stupid.)**

**A/N3:Well, as stated in the prologue, this is the real first chapter and that was just kind of an interlude of sorts. You could have skipped that chapter if you wanted, but the rest of them are kind of necessary to know what's going on, including this chapter. read it, review it, then read the next chapters when I post them. :D.**

_'thoughts'_

"Words"

(inner Kaede)

* * *

"I know it's in here somewhere..." A elderly voice said, accompanied by a soft rustling sound.

"Grandmaaa-?" a pleading voice begged, getting to excited to wait for the elderly woman to finish looking for whatever it was that she was trying to find. "Have you wound it yet?"

"Now, now Emi, be patient." the elderly voice said as a tall, ancient looking woman started moving some boxes around. "It's been years since I went through any of these things. I know it's in one of these shelves, I'm just not sure which one."

"But you promised to tell me a story." the little seven year old said pleadingly, giving her grandmother her best 'begging kitten' eyes she could manage, knowing that the elder Roronoa woman didn't need to be looking at her to be effect by the gaze.

Just as her granddaughter had expected, the long haired, dark tanned woman didn't need to be facing the little girl to feel the effects of those eyes. Even with her back towards the little girl, she felt her heart breaking at the look the back of her head was receiving. Her granddaughter wanted to hear 'The adventures of the great witch', a story that the child had already started to become incredibly fond of, though, there was something about the story that the child didn't yet know, something her grandmother was already preparing herself to tell her about.

_'Note to self, Kill Chiotsu for teaching her that look.'_ the elderly woman thought, rolling her eyes as she continued looking for the object she was searching for.

"Emi, I can't tell you the story until I find the book." she said tiredly, refusing to turn her golden, cat like eyes on the child, knowing that she would give in if she did.

"You mean it's a books?" The little moss haired girl gasped excitedly, hoping that she would be able to read it herself some day, when she finished learning how to read.

"Well, sort of." The woman said, straightening up and dusting her long green dress off. "It's not an actual book, just.... something I wrote a long time ago."

"Really?" The girl said, amazed at just how great at writing stories her grandmother was. "You really wrote it grandma?"

"Yes, I guess you could say that I wrote it." The elderly woman said, pushing some boxes off the top of the large bookshelves in search of the specific book she was looking for. _'Well, writing something in a diary is technically writing it.... sort of.'_ she added mentally as she started sifting through another row of books.

"Do you think you'll write another one sometime grandma?" the girl asked after a minute, holding off the rest of her questions until her grandmother could pay more attention to her.

While most children her age didn't usually have that much patience, Little Emi had learned a long time ago that you could never get anything done unless you had patience.

Plus, there was a cookie in it for her if she behaved, and that was motivation enough for a seven year old.

"No, child, I've written enough of them to last me a very long time." The elderly woman said, glad that she wasn't facing the child when a few tears slid down her face.

The truth was, over a hundred years had passed since her last friend from her days as a pirate, her husband, had died. She couldn't write a new advanture if she didn't have any more adventures. That was kind of the way it worked, since the stories weren't so much as stories as they were just a written history of her and her friends from so long ago.

"Awww..." The little girl said sadly, saddened by the fact that he grandmother wouldn't be writing more to the story. "Why not?"

"For many reasons child, for many reasons." the woman said sadly, though she let out a small, happy sigh when she finally found the book she was looking for. "Besides," She added, wiping her face off and turning towards her granddaughter. "The part of the story you've heard so far was just volume one, this," She said, holding up the book to show the now excited little girl the large letters had written on the cover. "Is Volume two, and there are many more after this one."

The moment Emi saw the book her golden eyes lit up. While she had never actually seen the title written on paper before, she had heard her grandmother say it so many times that she knew it by heart.

Diaries of a mad cat woman, Volume 2

"Now, how does it go?" Kaede began, now fully ready to retell her story.

Emi was so excited about finally being able to hear the next part of the story. She hadn't known that she had heard all of the first part, but now that she did, she wanted to hear the rest. Squealing excitedly, she grabbed her grandmother's hand and ran down the stairs that led to the third floor, ran down the hallway, and into her room. When the two of them were settled in, Kaede opened the first page of her old diary and started telling her granddaughter her story, translating the pages from diary format to story format as the memories of the past flowed over her.

"Once upon a time..."

* * *

OK, so that was the prologue... um... yeah... just read the next chapter and stop staring at me... really... stop staring... you're making me nervous...... -freaks out and runs away screaming like a lunatic-

I am excepting OCs, please follow the template if you want me to add yours.

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**NOTE: OC's MUST be submitted via review, all OC's submitted by PM will be ignored.**

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Can I use this character as a bad guy- Yes/No:  
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	2. And God Said, Let There Be Spam!

**Chapter 1: And God Said, Let There Be SPAM!**

**Disclaimer:** I am in no way associated with any legal rights to one piece in any form, I do not own one piece or any part of the merchandising, gaming, manga, anime, characters, or anything of the sort. Oda owns everything, I am simply a fan that wrote this for my amusement as well as for the amusement of my friends. No money was made from this in any way, shape, or form. Please do not sue me as I do not have any money anyway. The only things that I own from this fic are my own original characters. I also do not own any of the Final Fantasy stuff, so please don't so me for using them in this either. Once again, I don't have any money, so please don't sue me.

**Summery:** This is the Zoro version of part 2 of my fanfic 'My Life In One Piece'. Read that first before you read this.

**Pairing:** Zoro/Kaede  
**Rating:** Currently it's only T, but I may very well change it to M at a later time.  
**Warnings:** I'm crazy, so you can pretty much expect anything.

**A/N1: I KNOW ZORO IS ALSO CALLED ZOLO, **

**A/N2: Yep, this is the Zoro/Kaede version. As I said in the final chapter of 'My life in one piece', the first part, each of the 'part 2s' are going to be completely different from each other, that way you can read the ones you want to read and not have to worry about them sounding exactly the same with just the names substituted, because that would be boring. (I mean, come on, who wants to read the same thing over in over again just so that you can read the pairings that you like, that would just be stupid.)**

**A/N3:Well, as stated in the prologue, this is the real first chapter and that was just kind of an interlude of sorts. You could have skipped that chapter if you wanted, but the rest of them are kind of necessary to know what's going on, including this chapter. read it, review it, then read the next chapters when I post them. :D.**

_'thoughts'  
_"Words"  
(inner Kaede)

* * *

Standing on the incredibly sandy road of Nanohana, all of us simply stood there, staring out over at the man, if you could call him a man, that had just ran past us. Almost as soon as we landed in Nanohana, the port city of Arabasta, a man being chased by a large mob of farmers and their wives ran past us, scaring the living hell out of all of us when he started shouting at the people behind him.

"Stop trying to milk me, damn it!" he shouted as he went by, causing everyone's jaws to drop, not including the large mob that he was shouting at in the first place.

The strange man's shouts were both surprising, as it wasn't everyday that you came across people trying to milk a person, let alone a man, and was incredibly hilarious.

The main reason why the scene in front of us was hilarious was the man's appearance. He had had huge bull horns, two large brown spots, a cow tail, and had been wearing what had definitely been a cowboy outfit at one point in time. While it no longer looked like that was what it was, mostly because there where a huge number of holes and tares in it, it was still hard to mistake it. He also seemed to have cowboy spurs on his snake skinned boots, which just added to the whole 'cow-man-cowboy' thing.

"Anyway, I think I smell some dried fish over this way, come on Choco." Lil finally said, being the first to get over what we had just seen.

With her comment about fish said, Lil jumped off of my shoulder and onto the sandy road, pawing at it slightly before running off with Chopper, Choco, and Sanji fallowing close behind.

"Don't worry, Kaede sweet, I'll make sure you're two beloved pets are kept safe and sound!" Sanji shouted excitedly as he and Chopper ran to catch up with the the feather-brains and fuzz-bucket, though Chopper seemed to be having a difficult time keeping up in his full reindeer form for some reason.

Taking their cues from the them, everyone started heading off to get the supplies that were needed, or in Nami's and Lucian's cases, they just went off somewhere to shop.

"Should we really be walking around out in the open?" Nichi asked worriedly as we both hopped over the side of the ship and started walking. "Isn't that a bit careless?"

"Well, we could hide ourselves if we really felt like it," I said, pausing in the middle of the sandy path so that she could put her huge cloak on in an attempt to better hide her appearance. "but with Luffy running around, it doesn't really matter all that much. He'll get us caught, sooner or later, so everyone just does there best to hide themselves on their own instead of worrying about each others disguises."

"Basically, everyone does their own thing and just hopes no one gets caught, right?" She said with with a slightly annoyed look on her face, clearly not liking how lax we all were about our safety.

"Pretty much." I replied, grinning from ear to ear and trying as hard as I could to not laugh.

I knew she wasn't going to like the way we all did everything, and that made her reaction even more amusing. She had this weird thing about doing everything covertly and seriously. Ever since she and the other had hitched a ride to Vivi's kingdom, she had had to deal with our lazy and relaxed attitudes over and over again. Whenever something did happen, or whenever we would simply do something lazily, she would always get this overly flat expression on her face that I had dubbed her 'annoyed face', which I did because she always seemed to be annoyed whenever it appeared.

It might not sound all that funny, but to me, it was.

Rolling her eyes at the grin that was plastered across my face, Nichi headed off to go look for something that would help us get through the dessert, clearly thinking that none of use would be able to actually find anything useful on our own. Almost as soon as she started walking, she was out of site, vanishing into the throng of people that seemed to appear out of no where, coming from the direction of the docks, which we had just left. As they moved steadily past me, I realized that some of them were carrying crates and barrels, one of which seemed to have the Baroque Works mark on it.

The moment I saw the mark, I turned around and started heading back towards the docks,remembering that there was something I had to do. When finally got back to our ship, which didn't take long as the dirt road that lead to the docks was incredibly short, I was extremely relieved to see that our flag was well hidden and that the Merry looked like any other ship, though there was some noticeable damage on it.

Once I was done checking the Merry Go over, I started looking around for other ships, trying to see if any of them were Baroque Works ships, and sure enough, there were a few. Sitting just four ships down from our own were three ships that all had large Baroque Works flags on them, which instantly made me smile.

Can you say, ca-ching?

Deciding that I would go from one ship to the next, strip each of the ships of everything that I came across, regardless of what the items were, I headed over to the closest ship, jumped up onto the deck...

And found that there were still some Baroque Works agents still there.

All of us just stood there and stared at each other for several minutes, to surprised to do anything. When I finally got my ability to speak back, all I could manage was one simple word.

"THUNARA!" I shouted in horror, snapping my fingers at each of the men in turn, hoping that one spell would be enough to take all of them down.

Sadly, it only took down about ten of them, leaving seven of them still standing, and, as if on cue, the moment I shouted Thundara, several men jumped over from the other two Baroque Works ships, fully intent on saving their friends and killing me.

Glancing to the side, I barely managed to jump out of the way of one some idiots attempt to cut by head of, which barely missed me by an inch. He was lucky he hadn't accidentally cut my hair off because I would have probably done a lot more then just knock him out for it.

My hair had been shortened enough during the Drum Island crap, so I wasn't about to let anyone get away with making it even worse. I had ended up having to pay Nami a huge amount of Beli to fix it for me, and I didn't like the idea of having to do it again.

Jumping out of the way of the attack, I pulled my giant steel mallet out of my magical froggy bag that my grandmother gave me and swung it as hard as I could at him, bashing him in the back of the head and sending him face first into the deck of the ship, knocking him out cold. Just as I finished taking care him, I ended up having to take three more guys down, which I did using a goo Thundara spell.

"You bitch! I'll kill you for hurting my comrades!" One of them shouted angrily, coming at me from behind in an attempt to slice my spine in half.

Once again, I was barely able to get out of the way in time, this time by rolling to the right once, bringing my hand up so that his nose was only an inch or so away from my palm, and gave him a really bad case of brain freeze.

"Blizzara!" I shouted angrily, wishing that he and his friends would just leave me alone.

Just as I was about to give a sigh of relief, thinking that the fight was over, a large and incredibly dark shadow blocked out the light around me, successfully scaring the shit out of me. Flipping forward and over the guy who's head I just froze, I spun around to see who it was that had been about to smash me and came face to face with a really, really, really fat woman that mad Alvida look thin.

And I mean the old way Alvida used to look.

"Holly shi-" I started, unable to believe what I was seeing.

Back in my old world, there were news reports of 700 pound men, but this guy had to be at least ten, if not twenty, times that.

The guy was a fucking moon, seriously.

"How dare you defy Baroque Works!" He shouted angrily, ripping the mast right out of the center of the ship, clearly planning on smashing me with it.

If Lil was here, she would have shit on the spot, but as she wasn't, the best I could manage in place of her crapping was a barely audible gasp of horror as my eyes suddenly popped out of my head.

It wasn't until the mast was only a few feet from my face that I finally regained my ability to move, which I instantly used to jump out of the way. When the mast hit the deck like a hammer, the whole front of the ship was smashed in, rendering the ship completely useless. The idiot had actually destroyed the front of his own ship, something he didn't seem to be that happy about.

"You bitch! You destroyed my ship!" He shouted angrily, causing a large vein to appear in my forehead.

"I didn't destroy it, idiot! You did!" I shouted back at him angrily, lunging at him and digging my cat claws into his face, latching on and refusing to let go. "Thundara!"

Three blinding flashes and twenty more spells later and he and the rest of the Baroque Works agents were knocked out, leaving me to steal everything they had.

And steal I did.

Before I even made my way into the first ship, I stole all three of the ships' sails, all the 18 cannons from the ships deck, which was six cannons from each ship. One in the front, two on the left side, two on the right, and one in back. Multiply that by three and it comes out to eighteen. I also stole all the cannon balls, and there were a lot of them so I had no idea how many it actually was, as well as several crates and barrels from each of the ships decks. I then went and stole everything that was inside the ships, which included quite a few sheets and covers, which Sanji was going to have to boil before we are actually able to use them, a bunch of kitchen stuff, a large amount of wooden planks and nails (which was lucky because we really needed them), a little bit of treasure (not much though), and a bunch of other random stuff that was probably going to come in handy.

When I finished stealing everything that I could from the ships, I took the uncouncious Baroque Works agents, tied them up, and put them on another ship that was nearby, though I wasn't really sure who's ship it was, and I really didn't care either. The only thing I was interested in was destroying some Baroque Works ships, and that's exactly what I did. As soon as I finished moving the agents off the three ships, I set all three of them on fire, letting them burn until they sank to the bottom of the ocean. If the Baroque Works agents thought they were going to be able to just go about their business like they've been doing, then they had another thing coming. Before we had even reached the kingdom I had already decided to destroy every single one of their ships that I came across. I would take everything they had like a good little thief, which would help restock our supplies without costing us anything, and then i would sink their ships, which would keep them from being able to use them against us or against anyone else ever again.

We once had a mission to destroy Arlong park, now we had a mission to save Vivi's kingdom and destroy Baroque Works, and that was exactly what I was going to do, even if it was kind of overkill.

Hey, I'm a pirate for crying out loud, no one ever said I had to be nice about it. I might have had a bit of a squeamish problem when I first came to this world, but it disappeared a long time ago, way before we even entered the Grandline.

Not even feeling an ounce of pity for the now shipless bastards of Baroque Works, I turned away from the slightly miss-colored spots of water where you could barely make out the shapes of the ships' sinking remains and headed down the sandy-dirt road towards town once again. I spent my time on my way towards the center of the town thinking about what I was going to do. While thinking about all the horrible things that might happen once we get to Crocodile because of the damn ripple effect of everything that had happened since I entered the world I had realized that there was something that I really needed to talk to everyone about.

In the anime, and the manga, everyone had had to walk through the dessert to get from one end of the kingdom to the other, but we had options that the others hadn't had in the anime or or manga, options that could make everything a lot easier for us. For instance, there was the whole flying thing. On its own it wasn't the helpful, but with the froggy bag, it had a whole lot of potential to make the trip a lot faster. If everyone got into the froggy bag, then I could just fly to the castle or to where ever the rebels where, though I seriously doubted we would actually be able to talk them out of fighting, so the rebels weren't really and option anyway.

But the castle was.

If I flew everyone to the Castle, then it would give us all time to rest up, train, and practice our attacks and come up with some strategies. doing that also meant that Usopp and I could help Nami figure out how to work all the stuff in her new staff, which would keep her from getting killed by any of the bastards she might end up facing, and that was a major plus. I really didn't want to have to bury her. In the few months that we had been traveling together she had somehow managed to become like a sister to me, and letting her go off to face someone without her knowing what she was actually doing didn't exactly sit well with me.

Unfortunately, like always, that plan had its own problems that came with it, one of which was the hope thing. There were so many people in the kingdom that just needed hope to get through the next few days and Vivi and Luffy were the two that were supposed to give them that. If I flew us all to the castle, then we wouldn't see any of those people at all, and I wasn't really sure how I felt about that. I vaguely remembered something about two kids and their father, though I hadn't seen those episodes in so long that I couldn't really remember them all that much, but I _could _remember that Luffy and Ace had something to do with fixing whatever their problem was, and that meant that we had to actually meet up with them for them to get any kind of help.

And like I said before, if we flew to the castle, then that wasn't going to happen.

As I neared the center of town, I couldn't help but sigh in despair. anyway I looked at it, flying to the castle and not flying to the castle both had way to many problems for the decision to be easy. I was probably going to get asked a million and one questions once I gave everyone the options, and if I didn't have the answers to their questions, then it was going to make the decision that much harder for everyone to decide.

Hearing a voice calling out to me from somewhere to my left, I snapped out of my train of thought and turned my head ever so slightly so that i could see whoever it was that was talking to me. When I saw the person that was calling out to me, I was a little surprised. Sitting in a stall against a build was a woman that was clearly supposed to be a psychic. I could tell that she was supposed to be a psychic because there was a large crystal ball in front of her that was glowing slightly. There were also several lit sticks of incense and a few rows of tarot cards that she had clearly been looking over before she had called out to me. The scene just looked so psychic-ky that I knew that that was what it was almost instantly.

And the large sign over her head that said 'Psychic' didn't exactly hurt.

"Child, child! Come, let me tell you your fortune." the woman said in what had to be the worst fake accent i had ever heard.

Seriously, who the hell did she think she was fooling? Arnold Sworzinager did a better job of hiding his accent then she did of pretending to have one.

Not really having anything better to do anyway, i shrugged my shoulder at her bad accent and walked over to her, wandering what she wanted to tell me. I seriously doubted that she actually had any real ability to see the future, and i doubted even more that she was going to tell me anything that would actually interest me. The only reason why I walked over to her at all was because I had this strange feeling that we had met before, though I knew that was impossible, everyone I knew was back in my own world, excluding the rest of my crew-mates and their families. It was so strange. I couldn't even see the woman's face because she was wearing a large purple vale that made it impossible to see anything other than her eyes, and even they were hard to see for some strange reason. It was as iff the shadows on her face were actively trying to hide her eyes so that I couldn't see them.

But that was impossible, and just plain weird, so it was obviously just my imagination.

Shaking my head in an attempt to get rid of the strange feeling that just didn't seem to want to go away, i turned my full attention back onto whatever it was she was going to tell me, though i seriously doubted she would be able to impress me with her 'powers of foresight'.

I might have lied about being a psychic my self when I first got to this world, but in the end it turned out that I actually had the ability to sea the future, so I wasn't exactly easily impressed by psychics. It's hard to impress someone by telling them the future if they could already see it.

_'Come on, try me. I bet I can see your future to lady.'_ I thought darkly, knowing that there was no way she was actually going to be able to tell me the future.

She was just a fake after all.

"You probably could tell me my future too child, if you actually knew what you were doing that is." She said in a mildly amused tone, causing my jaw to hit the sandy ground, which ended up allowing several tumble weeds to roll across my tongue.

On second thought, maybe she wasn't so fake after all.

* * *

Yeah, I know it's a short chapter, but I've been putting off writing it for so long, so I wanted to post it as soon as possible so that you could all read it. Anyway, I'm off to start working on the next chapter, so... just sit tight until I'm done with it.

I am excepting OCs, please follow the template if you want me to add yours.

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**NOTE: OC's MUST be submitted via review, all OC's submitted by PM will be ignored.**

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**Age:  
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Race:** (If it is an original race, please understand that I will only use it if it fits in the one piece world)  
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	3. To Lazy To Come Up With A Title

**Chapter 2: To Lazy to come up with a title**

**Disclaimer:** I am in no way associated with any legal rights to one piece in any form, I do not own one piece or any part of the merchandising, gaming, manga, anime, characters, or anything of the sort. Oda owns everything, I am simply a fan that wrote this for my amusement as well as for the amusement of my friends. No money was made from this in any way, shape, or form. Please do not sue me as I do not have any money anyway. The only things that I own from this fic are my own original characters. I also do not own any of the Final Fantasy stuff, so please don't so me for using them in this either. Once again, I don't have any money, so please don't sue me.

**Summery:** This is the Zoro version of part 2 of my fanfic 'My Life In One Piece'. Read that first before you read this.

**Pairing:** Zoro/Kaede  
**Rating:** Currently it's only T, but I may very well change it to M at a later time.  
**Warnings:** I'm crazy, so you can pretty much expect anything.

**A/N1: I KNOW ZORO IS ALSO CALLED ZOLO, **

**A/N2: Yep, this is the Zoro/Kaede version. As I said in the final chapter of 'My life in one piece', the first part, each of the 'part 2s' are going to be completely different from each other, that way you can read the ones you want to read and not have to worry about them sounding exactly the same with just the names substituted, because that would be boring. (I mean, come on, who wants to read the same thing over in over again just so that you can read the pairings that you like, that would just be stupid.)**

**A/N3:Well, as stated in the prologue, this is the real first chapter and that was just kind of an interlude of sorts. You could have skipped that chapter if you wanted, but the rest of them are kind of necessary to know what's going on, including this chapter. read it, review it, then read the next chapters when I post them. :D.**

_'thoughts'  
_"Words"  
(inner Kaede)

* * *

It took me several minutes of non-stop staring to finally get over my shock at having my mind read by a woman that I had thought was a fake psychic. Apparently, she wasn't nearly as fake as I had thought.

"Now, would you like me to tell you your future, child?" she asked once I started to get over my shock, causing me to fully snap out of my daze and surprise so that I could listen to her.

"Um.... Sure?" I said, though I wasn't at all sure about that.

Really, with as bad as things were getting, with Merry almost getting destroyed, with a freak from hell trying to blow us up, and with Crocodile running around and trying to destroy Arabasta, did I really want to know my future? Knowing my luck, it was probably going to be really bad...

"You don't seem to confident in that answer, but considering everything you are already facing, I guess I can understand why." the psychic said, running a hand across the little table in front of her and collecting up the tarot cards that were had been sitting in front of her. "But, a yes is a yes, so let's begin."

I'm not sure why, but for some reason, even through the fabric covering her face, I was sure I could see her smiling. It was as though she thought the fact that I was afraid of what was going to happen was funny. It was probably just my imagination, but I still couldn't help but feel slightly annoyed about it.

Being afraid of a bunch of crazy people trying to kill you doesn't exactly sound all that funny to me.

"Now, first, let's see what the cards have in store for you." She said, placing the deck of tarot cards she had just collected in front of my, gesturing for me to cut the deck.

Taking my right hand, I lifted up about half of the cards and set them aside, wandering what they were going to tell her. I might have been skeptical about her abilities before, but if she could read my mind, then I was willing to believe that she could also see the future.

As soon as my hand left the cards, she instantly started taking the top cards off of the deck and placed them in front of her, flipping them so that they were face up as she went. In just a few seconds she had three rows of cards set out on the small table, with three cards in the first row, five in the second, and three in the last. The last row originally only had one card in it, but when she saw the card she had placed to more cards down, one too its left and one to its right.

"Now that is...." She started, pausing for a second to look over the cards again, probably planing on saying 'interesting' like most psychics always seemed to do whenever they told someone the future. "Not a very interesting future." she finally said, causing me to hang my head in despair.

Just my luck, all psychics always tell the people they're reading that their futures are interesting, but my future was apparently so boring that she couldn't bring herself to lie about it.

_'Then again, I _am _about to go off and fight Crocodile, so it can't be _that _boring. If she thinks fighting a psychotic bastard from hell was boring, then what the hell _does_ she usually see?'_ I thought, wandering how much she actually ever saw, which had to be a lot if she thought my future wasn't that interesting.

"You're right, I do usually see a lot, thank you very much." she said suddenly, surprising me slightly by reading my mind again.

_'Am I really that easy to read?' _I thought miserably, hanging my head again in despair.

"Yep, doesn't get much easier then you." She said, causing my head to fall forward in despair again. "Anyway, it's not that I see a lot of crazy things when telling people the future, though I do see quite a bit, it's just that your immediate future isn't that interesting." she explained, waving her hand dismissively at the cards. "All these tell me is that you're single and that you are going to start having man problems in the near future. It's actually kind of sad."

'Great, a carnival worker thinks my love life sucks, how pathetic am I?' I thought miserably, wandering just how bad my love life really was.

I might be on an adventure, and I might be traveling with friends, but I'm still a girl for crying out loud. Just because I very rarely ever dated back in my own world didn't mean I didn't want guys to notice me every now and then.

"Wait, what man problems?" I suddenly asked, wandering what the hell she was talking about.

OK, so what I said before wasn't completely right. It wasn't that I actually wanted to date anyone, I just wanted for some guy to randomly tell me I'm pretty. Actually dating someone wasn't exactly an option. As a pirate, my life was way to complicated as it was for me to actually date anyone. If even one guy notices me, then I'm happy, but to actually date someone?

Never going to happen.

"Now, come now child. Every woman wants a man to be there for her." She said, reading my thoughts again, trying to convince me that it wouldn't be that bad.

Like hell it wouldn't.

"Besides, it's not going to be that bad." She continued, choosing to ignore my thoughts in favor of appeasing me. "Besides, if you really want to avoid it, just head in there, and you wont have to deal with it anytime soon." She said, pointing off to the side at a large restaurant, one that I vaguely remembered from the anime.

"Huh? Really?" I asked, looking over at the restaurant in question, slowly starting to remember that Ace was supposed to be in it. "That's all I need to do? Head in and I wont have to deal with whatever drama is heading my way?"

I don't know why, but for some reason, I wasn't buying it. I don't know if it was the fact that she seemed to go from trying to convince me that dating would be OK to trying to help me get out of it in the blink of an eye, but for some reason, I had this odd feeling she was lying to me.

"If you really think so dear, then don't go in, but as it is," She stated, collecting up the cards again before looking around at the people that were walking past us. "I need to get back to trying to get money out of these people, I have to make a living somehow." She said, though it sounded as though she was half joking.

With that said, it was clear that she wasn't going to be speaking to me again any time soon as almost as soon as the words left her mouth a young woman and her apparent boyfriend appeared out of nowhere and started talking to her, wanting to know how many kids they were going to have.

OK, so he was probably actually her husband, but they seemed a little to young to me to be married.

Sighing heavily and knowing that I should probably head into the restaurant like she had told me to, even though I still didn't quite trust her, I turned away from the three of them and started walking. As soon as I got to the front door, I realized why the woman seemed so familiar. It wasn't the way she spoke, and it wasn't her movements, it was her voice.

'Aunt Pinoka!" I gasped in surprise, spinning around to face her again.

She was gone.

It was almost as if she hadn't even been there to begin with. Where her psychic's stand had been just moments ago was a large stack of crates and a man selling apples. He looked as though he had been there all day and was only a few minutes away from heading home.

Smiling at the realization that she had simply appeared out of magic to see me, for most likely no other reason but to see me, I turned around and headed into the restaurant, knowing that she would never give me bad advice.

Once through the front door, I found that the place was full of life and that there were quite a few people sitting through out the room.

Including a certain tan and tattooed Whitebeard pirate.

Even though I had seen the anime and had already been expecting him to be in the restaurant, I was still surprised to see him. Part of me had probably been expecting the changes I had caused ever since I got to this world to somehow change the whole 'Ace waiting in a restaurant' even or something. Either way, I was still surprised to see him, as well as surprised by his appearance.

In the anime he had been pale with a huge number of freckles all over him, but in reality, he was darker and more tanned then in the anime, though he was still covered in freckles. And while I couldn't see his face and therefore had no idea what it actually looked like, I could tell that the rest of him as slightly broader then the anime had shown. He had a few more muscles then his cartoon replica had had and he seemed to carry it all very well.

Basically, he wasn't bad looking at all. (A/N: Please note that this is a ZORO/Kaede fic, so don't worry about her falling for ace, because it won't be happening. I just happen to think that ace is kind of hot for a cartoon character.)

Slightly embarrassed my by staring, I took a quick look around the room to see if anyone had notice and found that I wasn't the only person staring.

But it wasn't Ace most of the people were staring at.

It was me.

_'Of course, Hawk-eyed Mihawk's daughter walks into town, and I really expected no one to notice.'_ I thought in exasperation, slapping my hand against my face, wandering if any other pirates ever did anything as stupid.

Seriously, I might not be famed for my abilities, but I was famous for three other things, one of which was my father. The entire world watches the seven pirate warlords every move, which meant that when one of them turns out to have a daughter that's also a pirate, it kind of becomes front page news, which is exactly what it was when I got my bounty. Add in the fact that the paper had also said, in the same article, that I was a half-breed that was a combination of human and a species that was somehow was claimed to be extinct, which was a rumor I had started but... yeah, still, they believed it and named the marines as the ones that tried to wipe out the 'Ctarl-Ctarls', then add in the fact that I'm a witch, which the marines actually did try to wipe out, and you get a pretty famous name.

And yet, somehow, I had completely forgotten all of that until the staring started.

About half the people in the restaurant were staring at me, and the rest were watching Ace, who was putting away food faster then the waiters could actually get it too him. The more and more he ate, the more and more people stared at him, and the more and more people stared at me, the more and more people started whispering about me.

Which made me feel way to self-conscious.

Knowing that just standing there like an idiot wasn't exactly helping my situation, I forced myself to get over my moment of embarrassment and, without running out the door, started moving, making my way slowly over to where the Whitebeard pirate was sitting. Unfortunately, this caused people to whisper even more. While not everyone knew that Ace was Ace, they did know that the giant tattoo on his back meant that he was one or Whitebeard's men, and as everyone know that I was a pirate to, all of them of course started jumping to the wrong conclusion about what was about to happen.

Meaning there was suddenly a large amount of vacant seats in the room as about a third of the people in the restaurant decided to run for it.

_'Well, I guess that mean's I'll never have to worry about finding a seat.' _I thought humorously, though I wasn't actually that happy about that.

In fact, I felt slightly offended by their reactions.

Shaking my head and decided to just ignore it, I turned me attention back to the man that was sitting in front of me, trying to ignore everyone else in the room. (A/N: Yes, this is a Zoro/Kaede fic, but seriously, am I the only one that would reach around his body and start running my hands up and down his chest? Seriously... OK... I'm starting to sound sexually depraved... T-T)

Deciding to have a bit of fun, even if it meant that he was probably going to kill me, I stuck my hand out and placed the tip of my index finger about an centimeter away from his back.

"Blizzard." I whispered evilly, causing the ice to form out of nowhere.

Right on his back.

"COLD!" In the blink of an eye, ace was out of his chair, jumping around and shivering slightly as the ice melted off of his back, which it did at a surprisingly fast pace.

Which made sense since he was a fire-man, and fire melts ice.

Once the ice was off of his back, the fire man spun around and glared at me with his mouth full, a fork in his right hand, and a knife in his left. When he saw who it was that had put ice on his back, he froze.

Before I had even cast the spell on his back, I had known that he would probably recognize me. The paper had said that I was on his brothers crew and that I was the first mate, though that last part was debatable. Usually the first mate is chosen by the captain and is the captain's right hand man/woman, so Zoro was probably the real first-mate, but know one knew that little fact so I knew that Ace would probably let me live, unwilling to kill his brother's crew member for something so small as a practical joke.

In his surprise at seeing me, Ace simply stood there for several minutes, staring at me. When he finally got over his surprise, he did the unthinkable.

He fuckin spit all his half chewed food all over me like a damn spray gun, which I should have known he would do since he was Luffy's brother.

Apparently, I didn't quite think that it through completely.

"EW!" I screamed in disgust and horror, wiping as much of the spew off as I could, shaking in disgust the whole time.

"Sorry about that, let me help you." He said apologetically, trying to wipe all of his half chewed food off of me while apologizing over and over again.

"No, no, no!" I growled angrily when he started trying to wipe the food off my shirt, getting a little to close to my chest for comfort.

I knew he wasn't actually trying to cop a feel and that he was just trying to be helpful, but I still didn't want his hands on my chest. It's personal space for crying out loud.

Once I was finished wiping my self off, thanks mostly to a towel that the owner of the restaurant got me and the fact that I used the Blizzara spell to freeze the spew and simply pulled the frozen shards off, I handed the towel back to the owner and turned my attention back to ace.

"Hi, you're looking for Luffy, right?" I asked him, trying to push the everything that had just happened out of my mind.

If I pretend like it never happened, maybe I won't have to burn the shirt.... Ah, screw it, as soon as I get back to the ship, I'm burning it.

"Yeah, I take it he got the message I left for him?" He asked, choosing to ignore everything that had happened as well, probably thinking it would be safer for him.

As I was a member of his brother's crew, he knew I wasn't an enemy, but as I was still a woman, he knew he was in deep shit for ruining my clothes.

It's a girl thing. Never fuck with our hair or our clothes if you want to live, that's just common sense.

"No, we actually missed it, I just tend to know everything. It's kind of my job." I explained shortly, not really wanting to go into details.

"Right." He said, smiling at me with that toothy grin of his.

_'Way cuter then Luffy, hard to believe they're brothers...'_ I thought, wandering how they could look so different. (A/N: SPOILER: She doesn't know that he isn't actually Luffy's brother genetic brother, she only saw up to episode 400 and she never read much of the manga.)

Just as Ace was about to open his mouth to say something, something over my shoulder caught his eyes, causing him to pause. Turning around to see what it was, I saw that smoker, jest like in the anime, had just walked in. He was just standing there with two large cigars sticking out of the corners of his mouth, and he was glaring over at us as though he was already thinking of ways for the marine heads to execute us, and all things considered, I wouldn't have been surprised if that was exactly what he was thinking.

"Huh, Whitebeard's and Strawhat's first mates in the same place." He said in the deep and raspy cigar voice of his, not moving any other muscle apart from the ones he needed to speak and blink. "Must be my lucky day."

"Well, well, well, if it isn't Captain Smoker of Logue town, how's it been?" Ace asked as I openly slipped a hand into my froggy bag at my waist, reaching around for my handy-dandy impact mallet.

"Huh, what are you doing here?" Smoky asked, though he didn't seem to really care all that much.

Since he was planning to catch us, our reasons for being in Nanohana didn't really matter that much to him.

Before Ace or I could even answer Smoker's question, for some reason, even though I had grown a huge amount of food and had caught a bunch of fish for everybody to eat and Sanji had fed the idiot before we got to town, Luffy, came flying through the restaurant door like a bat out of hell. He was moving so fast that, when he slammed into Smoker's back, he sent him flying right into me, which sent me flying with him right into Ace, which sent all three of us flying right through the brick wall in the back of the restaurant.

Unfortunately for the people that lived next to the restaurant, we didn't stop there. Luffy was so fast that the power of his body-slam actually managed to send us all through several more walls. As smoker had been the first one to get hit and was the one who's momentum originally shot Ace and me through the walls, he was the first one to stop moving, meaning he only went through the first six or seven walls with us and was lucky enough to stop and hit the ground after that.

As for me and ace... that was a completely different story. We both ended up going through a total of fourteen walls and ended up so entangled that, when we landed, ace landed right on top of me.

And his face ended up having two rather medium sized pillows to cushion his impact.

Now, as it wasn't his fault that we ended up landing the way we did, I would have let him get away with it with out killing him, however, he proved that he was definitely Luffy's brother when he decided to do something incredibly stupid.

He apologized for landing on top of me.

While his face was still buried in my breasts.

* * *

Well, I wander what Zoro's going to do when he finds out about that... Muhahahaha.

Don't you just love Aunt Pinoka? I hope so because her evil-medilingness is going to be popping up from time to time to mess with Kaede's life. Hehehe.

Anyway, you guys definitely reviewed the last post enough to make me happy. Nine reviews in one day for one update is pretty good, so I decided to reward all of you by updating as quickly as I could. See what happens when you guys review for me like good little minions? You get rewarded for it pretty fast. Two updates one after another, don't you just love me?

I am excepting OCs, please follow the template if you want me to add yours.

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	4. Oh Crap

**Chapter 3: Oh Crap**

**Disclaimer:** I am in no way associated with any legal rights to one piece in any form, I do not own one piece or any part of the merchandising, gaming, manga, anime, characters, or anything of the sort. Oda owns everything, I am simply a fan that wrote this for my amusement as well as for the amusement of my friends. No money was made from this in any way, shape, or form. Please do not sue me as I do not have any money anyway. The only things that I own from this fic are my own original characters. I also do not own any of the Final Fantasy stuff, so please don't so me for using them in this either. Once again, I don't have any money, so please don't sue me.

**Summery:** This is the Zoro version of part 2 of my fanfic 'My Life In One Piece'. Read that first before you read this.

**Pairing:** Zoro/Kaede  
**Rating:** Currently it's only T, but I may very well change it to M at a later time.  
**Warnings:** I'm crazy, so you can pretty much expect anything.

**A/N1: I KNOW ZORO IS ALSO CALLED ZOLO, **

**A/N2: Yep, this is the Zoro/Kaede version. As I said in the final chapter of 'My life in one piece', the first part, each of the 'part 2s' are going to be completely different from each other, that way you can read the ones you want to read and not have to worry about them sounding exactly the same with just the names substituted, because that would be boring. (I mean, come on, who wants to read the same thing over in over again just so that you can read the pairings that you like, that would just be stupid.)**

**A/N3:I think I should point out that Kaede is only calling Luffy an idiot in this chapter so much because of the fact that Luffy was the one that had caused her to go flying through the wall. If it wasn't for that, then she wouldn't be calling him an idiot through most of this chapter, so don't worry, it isn't a Luffy bashing, she's just really pissed off at him at the moment.**

_'thoughts'  
_"Words"  
(inner Kaede)

* * *

"BAMB!"

no longer caring about how I ended up lying on the ground with Ace's face in my chest, the moment he started talking, with his face still buried between my breasts, I started bashing his head in with my trusty impact mallet.

Lucky for him, he was made of fire, so it didn't do to much damage. Any time my mallet hit him and expelled its stored up energy into his face, though there wasn't a lot of energy in it to begin with, his devil-fruit fire-built body would simply burst into a thousand little flames, then come back together. It wasn't until I realized this that I started using spells instead, which actually _did_ manage to get the point across.

Apparently, even though his body was made of fire, he still couldn't ovoid attacks of fire or of ice, though the fire spells didn't do that much damage to him at all. His devil fruit powers must have had the added benefit of absorbing most of the flames so that they didn't do that much damage. The flames only seemed to... hit him, as though it was more of a physical attack to him then it should have been.

In the end, it took me a good thirty Blizzards to leave him lying on the ground twitching for his idiocy or perversion.

I was really sure which one it actually was.

When I finished smacking the crap out of him with Blizzard spells, I turned around, planning on heading back to the restaurant to beat the crap out of the rubbery idiot that I call captain. What I found when I turned around, however, made me pause from embarrassment. Standing at a kitchen sink only a few feet away from me was a woman, her nine year old her son, and her six year old daughter, all of which looked as though they were scared to death of me.

And considering what they had just seen, I couldn't really blame them.

"Sorry about that!" I said apologetically, bowing to each of them while rubbing at the back of my head, not even realizing that I was doing the same thing that Ace had done in the anime.

Straightening up, I thought of something to say that would help fix the situation.

"See, that's what happens when bad boys touch girls with out their permission." I said to the little boy darkly, nearly making him pee his pants.

OK, so it wasn't the best thing to say, but it was the only thing I could come up with.

With that said and the mother and daughter looking as though they had calmed down a bit, I turned back to the other some-teen holes in the walls and started walking, heading back towards the restaurant that Luffy had so rudely launched me out of. I was about half way there when I remembered that smoker had gotten launched through the walls with us. The only reason why I remembered it at all was because, when I cleared the seventh wall, I nearly ran right into him.

When he realized that someone was behind him, he turned and glared down at me, clearly just as surprised to see me as I was to see him, and just as unhappy at that.

"Hh..." He said in that strange, smoke infused voice of his.

For several seconds the two of us just stood there staring at each other. Neither of us moved even a muscle until we heard someone shouting about more food. The moment we both heard the voice shouting for more food, both of our necks snapped in the direction that the voice was coming from, which just happened to be where the restaurant was.

"Luffy!" "Strawhat!" Smoker and I said in unison, nearly breaking our necks with the speed that we turned our heads.

The moment we both called out to the rubbery idiot, Smoker turned around and hit me in the stomach with that damn sea-stone police stick of his, sending me flying back through the air again and right into ace. Unfortunately for Smoker, I was going to have to kill him for that, because when I landed, I didn't land on the ground. Nope, I'm not that lucky. When I landed I landed right on....

Ace, with my breast once again in his face.

To Ace's credit, he didn't start speaking until I sat up a bit, meaning he didn't start talking into my breasts this time.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" I said over and over again, clearly afraid I was going to flip out on him again.

"Gah! I don't have time for this!" I growled, hopping up and spinning around, running after the idiot that had just sent me flying. "Hurry Idiot! That bastard's going after Luffy!"

"WHAT!?" I heard Ace shout behind me as I ran through the final hole and jumped, kicking Smoker in the back of the head and sending him flying, causing him to create a new whole in the restaurant's walls, this time next to the entrance.

"That's for hitting me in the stomach, bastard!" I growled angrily, only to pause when someone started spitting there food all over me.

"May! Mwy Mayweywey!" (Translation: Hey! Hi Kaede!) Luffy said from his seat at the restaurants counter just a few feet from me, talking with his mouth full and spewing half chewed chunks all over me.

Yep, he and ace were definitely brothers.

"Dammit Luffy-!" I growled whipping my self off as best as I could in the short amount of time that I had to do it, knowing that we didn't have time to just sit around. "Luffy, just grab the food, we gotta' go."

For some reason, my comment didn't seem to get through the idiots head. All he did, even though I had said 'We gotta go' in an urgent tone, was sit there staring at me. He didn't even move a little to comply with what I was saying. It was as if I was speaking gibberish or something.

"Mwy moo Mwe ha'ma Moe?" (translation: Why do we hav'ta go?" He said confusedly around his fork as he took another bite of something, once again spraying me with half chewed food.

Yep, it's official. This day fucking sucks.

Spray me once, I kill you, spray me twice, I kill you again and start looking for Moria, spray me a third time, you'll wish you stayed dead after the first two.

"Luffy, firstly, does the phrase 'Say it, don't spray it' mean anything to you?" I growled out angrily, once again wiping food off of my clothes and longing for a nice hot bath in tar to get rid of the crap that was now on me. "Secondly, in answer to your question, that guy that I just sent flying is Captain Smoker. He's the guy that nearly killed you back in Logue Town."

Now, while I hadn't actually been there when Luffy had nearly gotten killed, I knew enough from the anime and had listened to enough of the others recounts of it to know what had happened. Just like in the anime, when Luffy and the others had started running, Luffy and them had all gotten caught by Smoker, and just like in the anime, Luffy's dad had saved them.

At my statement, Luffy simply sat there, staring at me stupidly. It took him three minutes of thinking about it before he finally figured it out, and when he did....

Yep, you guessed.

All over my shirt.

Again.

For the fourth time.

...

Kami, I hate my life.

Once again wiping spew off of my body, I simply stood there and glared at the idiot, wandering how long he was going to take to finally realize that we had to get the hell out of town. Lucky for me, it didn't take long for him to come to that realization at all. In fact, almost as soon as I started wiping the chunks off of my clothes, Luffy jumped up, gathered the food, shouted that it was time to go, and took off running.

Unfortunately, as soon as Luffy was through the front door, Smoker appeared out of nowhere right behind him, chasing after him as fast as he could. Knowing that I should probably go after him and save the rubber-brained idiot, who should have gone through the holes in the wall and out through one of the front doors of the houses behind the restaurant, I pulled some money that I had stolen from the Baroque Works agents out of my froggy bag and handed it to the restaurant owner, telling him to split it with everyone who's house we had damaged. When I finished giving him the money, which I did as fast as I could so that I could run after Luffy, I turned to the restaurants regular exit, only to find that Ace was already there, looking out at the seen of mayhem that Luffy was causing.

"Yep, that's my brother for ya', always causing trouble." He said, sounding almost as though he was proud of Luffy's idiocy.

And if he was proud of it, then I was going to have to kick his as once I finished kicking Luffy's. Him being proud of Luffy's stupidity was almost like encouraging it, and that was just not aloud. You don't encourage that idiot to make all of his crew-mates' lives harder, not unless you want all of us to kick you damn ass for it. It was hard enough trying to keep that idiot out of trouble as it was, if he knew his brother was actually proud of the way he always just runs off without thinking....

In the words of my great aunt Agnes when she caught her husband in bed with the milk-man:

_Oh, hell no._

"Blizzard!" I shouted, casting my spell on the back of his head, causing him to go flying forward.

Everyone in the restaurant jumped slightly at seeing what I had just done, scared that I might do the same to them. Deciding to ignore them, I simply walked out the front door, following after the idiot I had just sent flying.

"Don't encourage him!" I growled darkly, glaring at him as he stood up and grinned at me.

Shaking my head at his lack of reaction, I decided that I had wasted enough time already when I had payed the restaurant owner. If I was going to save Luffy from Smoky, then I was going to have to start running. So, sighing heavily, that's exactly what I did.

In the blink of an eye I took off as fast as I could, running in the direction that Luffy had taken off in, even though I couldn't see him. While I couldn't actually see the two of them, I was sure Luffy and smoky-the-bastard weren't that far ahead of me because I could hear people shouting as they ran through them. Knowing that the view from the roofs would probably give me a better chance at spotting Luffy, I jumped up onto the nearest one and continued running, smiling when I heard Ace follow me.

I hadn't noticed it when he first started following after me, but I wasn't at all surprised when he caught up to me, though I was surprised when I saw that his legs had turned into pure fire and he was actually flying along like a rocket.

"Sheesh, is there anything that body of yours can't do?" I asked in surprise, not realizing the way it sounded until the words were already out of my mouth, and the moment I did realize how it sounded, my face turned into a giant tomato.

At least in coloring it did.

"Maybe, maybe not, you'll just have to find out." He replied while sending me a big, toothy grin, causing me to wish that I was dead.

'Great, now he thinks I'm flirting with him.' I thought miserably, wishing I would learn to watch what I say.

For some reason, when watching the anime, I had never fallen for the fire-man like so many other girls I know had. He had never really seemed like _that_ guy to me, the kind of guy I would want to strip down and start licking, I mean kissing... Because I would never want to lick some guys abs...

Anyway, don't ask me why, but Ace just didn't make me want to- Kiss him, he just didn't appeal to me that way.

Unfortunately, because of my stupid mouth, he now thought that I _did_ like him that way, which meant that he ended up thinking that it would be fun to flirt while trying to save his little brother's life.

"So, do you do this often?" He asked lamely, though he seemed to think that it was a good come on.

…

That brings me to something that I had noticed about him in the anime, something that apparently was dead accurate. While he was more easy going then most men, he was still a man's man, meaning that he still liked to party, drink, flirt, and rumble. Basically, he was like a really weird combination of Zoro, Luffy, and Sanji, only with twice the party as all three of them put together.

"Unfortunately, I do." I said, choosing to shoot down his attempt to hit on me, that way he would get that I wasn't interested. "Luffy has a tendency to run off without thinking, so me and the others are usually stuck running after him before he can get himself in trouble, though some times we fail miserably."

Unfortunately for my attempt to turn him down gently, Ace didn't seem to notice it all that much. Luckily though, someone's shouts from bellow were much more pressing then Ace's attempts to hit on me, so I just ignored him in favor of paying attention to what was going on.

"I'll cut him down!" I heard a woman shout, drawing my attention to the street down below.

When I saw who it was that was shouting and who it was that she was about to 'cut down' I instantly went to work, knowing that she was very good at using a sword.

"Yo, bitch!" I shouted angrily, jumping off the roof, planing on landing right on top of her.

At hearing my shouts, Teshigi, Smoker's right hand woman, looked up, giving Luffy time to run right past her. When she saw that I was coming right at her, she instantly raised her sword in an attempt to both defend herself and to fight me off. Lucky for me though, I didn't need to actually land right on her, and my tail, which I had secretly been training up, was limber enough to get around her swords and wrap around her neck, causing her to get slammed into the ground by me when I landed.

The moment my feet hit the ground, I jumped up onto the roof across from the original, letting go of her in the process.

Knowing that she wasn't a bad guy and hoping that she was alright, I glanced behind me, wandering if she was OK. When I did look back at her, I was happy to find that she was already getting back up, though she didn't look like she would be running after us any time soon as she was swaying slightly on her feet. At worst, I had just knocked the air out of her, so I didn't have to worry about killing her. Happy that she was OK, I turned around and started running again, hoping that my pause hadn't been to long for me to save Luffy.

If it was, then Nami was probably going to fine me a few million Beli for letting our captain get killed, and that would just suck.

Plus, I would probably be sad if the idiot died, but it wasn't like I was about to tell him that. Just as Nami had become like a sister to me, Luffy was family, like my really annoying little cousin or something. That's just the way family is, they annoy you, but you still can't bare to let them go.

Running as fast as I could, or rather hopping as fast as I could... oh hell, it's the same thing for me. Running as fast as I could I quickly caught up with Ace, who was rocketing across the top of the building across the street from the one I was on. Almost as soon as I managed to catch up with him, we caught up with Luffy.

Unfortunately, so did smoker.

"AG!" Luffy shouted down below as smoker wrapped the rubber man in his smoky wisps, making it impossible for him to move even an inch.

"LUFFY!" Ace and I shouted in unison, diving into the street below and making our way over to the huge stack of smoke.

'Oh yeah! Smoke can't form if it's put out by ice!' I realized, knowing that it was probably the only chance we had at getting Luffy away from Smokey-the-bastard.

If Ace fought Smokey-the-bastard with his fire moves, then Luffy would probably get burned, and the same went for if I fought him with my spells, the electric spells wouldn't effect either of them, the first spell would burn Luffy, and I seriously doubted that the frog spells would actually do anything other then give Luffy warts. Basically, the only chance we had to separate the two was to cool Smoky-the-bastard off long enough for Luffy to run for it, after that, Ace could take care of the rest.

"Ace, pull back!" I called out as Ace headed in to free his brother, causing him to turn his head to look at me.

The moment he saw the look on my face he stopped dead in his tracks, knowing that I was about to do something. Ace he wasn't part of the crew and didn't know me that well, he didn't know exactly what I was about to do, but it isn't that hard to tell when someone has a plan, and plans usually work a lot better then just running in head first.

The moment he stopped running, I stuck out both of my hands and started thinking of Chopper's frozen island. Concentrating hard on that snowy, ice filled island, I conjured up as much magic as I could, gathering it all into my spell.

"BLIZZARD!" I shouted once I was close enough to Luffy and Smoky-the-bastard, casting blizzard on them over and over again, causing smoker to condense back down into his original form.

'Huh... what did you know... it actually worked.' I thought in surprise, amazed that my plan actually went the way I wanted it to.

It had to be an omen. That's the only explanation. My plans NEVER work, that's just the way it is. Whenever one does work, it's usually a sign that the end of the world is near... either that or that I'm going to be in a lot of pain really soon... (A/N: I know this is a spoiler, but seriously, remember this moment.)

getting over my shock at having had one of my plans actually work, I quickly ran forward and grabbed one of Luffy's arms, pulling him along with me as I went.

"I'll leave the rest to you, Ace!" I shouted over my shoulder, causing Luffy to gasp in surprise.

"Ace?!" The rubber man shouted in surprise as he was dragged down the street and then up over a building, looking back in an attempt to see his brother.

"Not now Luffy, you'll see him in a few minutes!" I said, not stopping in my hopping as I got farther and farther away from the fight, which was turning out to be a little different then in the anime.

In the anime, when Ace and Smoky-the-bastard fought, they had created a large smoke stack in the sky, one that had looked similar to a tornado. In reality, however, the ended up creating several small smoke stacks, all of which actually did turn into tornadoes. Apparently, my attempt to solidify Smoky-the-bastard the bastard had had a slightly longer effect then what I had thought it would have. While he was still able to create and turn into smoke, the blizzards spells I had hit him with cooled his smoke down so much that the difference between his body temperature and Ace's fire temperature was raised slightly, which meant that there was also a difference in air pressure, which is what ended causing the two of them to form several small tornadoes.

Basically, I had somehow manage to turn a bad situation even worse.

But for some reason, I had this strange, nagging feeling in the back of my head that I couldn't explain. It was telling me that the tornadoes, while being partially my fault, weren't what the omen from before was about, they had just been a really nasty side effect of me not thinking about what ice, fire, smoke, and a really windy and sandy desert could do when you combine them.

"Well, I guess we won't be seeing Smoky-the-bastard for a while," I said as I continued running, calling smoker by the nickname I had given him and wandering if Ace was alright.

As air actually fuels fire, he probably was, but I wasn't one hundred percent sure about that, so I was still a little worried that I might have killed him when I ran into Zoro and the others.

"Luffy?! Kaede?! What did you two idiots do?!" Nami demanded when I stopped right in front of all of them, clearly thinking that it was all our fault.

Which it was, but I wasn't about to tell her that.

"Not us, it was all Luffy's brother, I swear!" I said fearfully, dropping Luffy on the ground and waving my hands around frantically in an attempt to show that I wasn't hiding anything, even though I technically was.

It wasn't that I was afraid that she might hurt me if she knew I was part of the reason why there were several small tornadoes making their way through town, it was just that I was afraid that she might hurt my wallet if she knew that I was part of the reason why there were several small tornadoes making their way through town. There's a big difference.

Me getting hurt I can handle, but my wallet getting hurt?

Not so much.

"Ten-thousand Beli!" She shouted angrily, pointing at me evilly while glaring daggers at me.

Apparently, she didn't believe a damn thing I was saying.

"Fine, fine, so I helped him cause it, sheesh." I said, pushing past her, only for her to stop me when she realized what I had said.

"Luffy has a brother?" She asked in surprise while everyone else simply stared at me, and then at the rubber man himself.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." I said, waving them off, knowing that we had to get to the ship as soon as possible. "We'll talk about it later, but for now, we need to get to the ship. The marines are looking for us now because smoker spotted us."

"WHAT?!" Everyone shouted, clearly annoyed by the fact that they had all worked so hard to stay out of site when they had spotted the marines, only for me and Luffy to go and get us all spotted.

"Yeah, yell at us later, Luffy's brother is stalling them for us, but we have to get out of here before they get a chance to come after us." I said as I started walking, knowing that the sooner we got to the ship, the better off we would be.

"His brother's stalling them? How?" Sanji asked curiously, wandering what Luffy's brother could possibly be doing to stall the marines.

Apparently, he doubted very much that anyone could stall Smoky-the-bastard or his men.

In answer to Sanji's question, I simply pointed over my shoulder at the huge tornadoes that were spinning off in the distance, causing the others to gasp in surprise.

"OOOW!" Luffy said in amazement, surprised that his brother was able to do something like that. "I heard that he ate a devil fruit to, but I didn't know he could make tornadoes! Awesome!"

"No.... those aren't normal tornadoes..." Nami said, using her strange ability to sense weather to try to figure out what was going on.

"She's right." Nichi said from under her cloak as she and Lucian walked over to us, surprising me slightly by their sudden appearance.

"Yeah, those don't look like normal tornadoes, baby." Lucian agreed, causing my eyebrow to start twitching with that damn 'baby' crap he always does.

Seriously, I really hate that damn word.

"You're right." I said, wishing they would all start moving already. "He's a fire-man, not a tornado man." I started, going into the whole thing and explaining to them what was going on and why we had to go.

Once they all understood what was going on, everyone decided that we should all get to the ship as soon as possible, especially since Vivi pointed out that the marines might be looking for it while we were standing there. With that in mind, everyone took off running for the ship, not wanting to give the marine bastards a chance to seize it. It only took us a few minutes to reach the ship, and when we got there, we all realized that there was something missing...

"Luffy." We all said boredly in unison, not at all surprised to find that the idiot wasn't with us.

That man could get himself lost on a map, I swear.

"That idiot." Zoro said as everyone just stood there in front of the ship and lazily stared off back up the road where we had just come from.

"One of us should probably go after him." Lil said in a lazy tone from Choco's back, making it clear that that person wasn't going to be her.

Apparently, she could sense that Luffy was probably causing more trouble and really didn't want to have to be the one to go and find him. She, Choco, and I, as well as everyone else, had been traveling with Luffy long enough to know that, if he was left to his own devices, he would probably be getting him self, and everyone around him, killed.

Basically, who ever went was going to get into trouble, and Lil was to chicken to be the one to go.

And so was Usopp apparently because he instantly jumped onto the ship, climbed the mast, and got into the crow's nest, saying that he had to make sure there wasn't any marines or baroque works agents coming after us.

Then Nami proved that she wasto much of a chicken too by hoping onto the ship and telling everyone that she couldn't go after Luffy as she had to prepare the ship to take off.

Which of course made Sanji grab Vivi, attempt to grab me, and jump onto the ship once he finally realized that I wasn't following him. He then informed all of us that he had to protect Nami-swan and Vivi-chan, and that he wanted me to stay behind as well so he could make sure I didn't get hurt.

Basically, in the end it was left between Zoro, Nichi, and I, since Chopper chicked out after Usopp started talking about all the bad stuff that could be happening and Lucian chicked out almost as soon as he did for the same reasons.

"You guys just stay here, I'll go get the idiot." I finally said, deciding that just sitting around and arguing about who should go was wasting to much time. "Besides, since I can fly you guys can set sail and we can catch up with you, that way the marines won't be able to get the ship."

No one bothered to argue with me as it did make a lot of sense. If we stayed docked then we had to worry about both Baroque works and the marines, but if we set sail, then it cut the marines out of the picture, plus I had already sank a few of the Baroque Works' ships and had stolen the sails of some of the other ones from earlier, so they weren't really going to be that bad anyway, especially not with Usopp manning the cannons. It's kind of hard for anyone to be worried about or ship getting sunk by other ships, excluding the ones with guys that can punch air so fast that it can rip the ship apart, when Usopp is busy blowing those other ships out of the water.

With everyone in agreement, I headed off back up the road, swearing up and down that I was going to kill the little rubbery idiot once this was all done.

Normally, I didn't have to call Luffy an idiot so many times in one day, but as I was having a really bad one, I couldn't help but think that everyone that was causing me to have a headache was an idiot, and as Luffy was the primary source of the headache, I was going to be calling him an idiot for the rest of the day, or until the throbbing in my forehead from smacking into Ace and then into a few concrete walls went away.

Either way, my head hurt and it was Luffy's fault, therefore, he's an idiot.

When I was about half way down the road, I jumped up onto the nearest building and started looking for the rubber man, wandering where he was. It only took me a few seconds of searching to find him once I was on the rooftop, though if it hadn't been for ace, it probably would have taken me a thousand times longer. Almost as soon as I was on the rooftop, I spotted ace off in the distance, squatting on a roof a few buildings away from me to my left and looking down at something that I couldn't see in street below him. If I hadn't noticed the fact that he seemed to be talking to that something, I probably never would have realized that it was Luffy, so it was lucky that I did notice.

Sighing in annoyance when Ace jumped off the roof and down onto the street below him, I hopped over three roofs, jumped over two streets, and made my way over to the house he had been standing on before jumping down into the street below to join him and his brother.

"Huh?" Luffy and ace said in unison, surprised when I landed right in front of the both of them.

"Monkey D. Luffy!" I said sternly, ignoring the fact that I sounded vaguely like my mother always did when I was a child,, and nearly scaring the crap out of Luffy and Ace as I went into lecture mode.

After that, I couldn't even come up with anything to say. My head hurt to much for me to think of anything to yell at him, and it was starting to make me think that I might have a concussion, which wouldn't surprise me all that much as smashing into large number of walls had to have had a bad effect on my body. I was surprised I had even been able to stand after all of that.

Finally giving up on my attempt to yell out the idiot for getting lost when we were supposed to be making our way to the ship, I simply growled at him and started digging throguh my froggy bag for my my feathered broom, only to find that it wasn't there.

While the guys were a little surprised at my sudden change in attitude, neither of them felt much like getting yelled at so they both just went with it and stood there while I continued searching through my froggy bag. Unfortunately, Ace wasn't used to the magical properties of the froggy bag yet, so I nearly scared the shit out of him when I suddenly stuck my whole upper body into the bag in search of my broom.

Unable to find my feathered broom anywhere in the bag, I started digging around for my regular broom, only to remember that I had given it to Sanji when I had made the feathered one. Just as I was starting to get desperate to find any broom, I realized what I had done with the feather one.

I left it back on the ship before we all went to town...

And I had told them to set sail a few minutes ago...

Oops...

Pulling myself out of the bag, I couldn't help but feel a little stupid. I should have remembered that I didn't have my broom before I had run off, but I hadn't and now we had no way of getting to the ship if everyone already set sail.

"Damn." I said in exasperation, wishing Luffy had never slammed me into the wall as I was sure I would have remembered if it wasn't for the horrible headache that was starting to get worse.

"So that bag can hold anything?" Ace asked, having just had everything explained to him by Luffy, something that scared me slightly as he had a habit of getting some facts wrong.

Deciding to just get moving and leave the explanations for later when my head wasn't hurting, I told them that we had to get to the ship as soon as possible and that the others had already set sail so that the marines wouldn't take the ship.

With that all said, we all headed down the street towards the ocean, only to be stopped by a bunch of Baroque Works idiots. If it hadn't been for my headache, I probably would have remembered them attacking Luffy and Ace in the anime, but as it was, I didn't even think about it.

I would go into detail about how we managed to beat all of them as there were so many, but seriously... They were just Baroque Works flunkies, so none of them were that hard to beat at all. With just Luffy's stretching alone we could have beaten them, but as I had a huge fucking headache, I might have gone a bit over board... in the end, I ended up turning several of them crispy, and one guy I even fried over and over again, mostly though because he called me 'sweet-thing', which was a really dumb thing to do.

It took as less then a few seconds to finish fighting all of them, and not a single one was moving once we finished with them. With all of them laying on the ground, not even twitching, the three of us headed off down the road again, heading for the sea and the ship.

It took as only a minute or two to finally reach the sea, and when we did we saw that the Marry Go was already sailing out to sea, which was all my fault because they wouldn't have gone that far if they had known that I didn't actually have my broom with me. When we saw how far they were, Luffy turned towards me, waiting for me to pull out my broom, when I told him that I didn't have it with me, and explained to Ace that the rumor about witches being able to fly on brooms was true, Luffy did the unthinkable.

Then again, I should have been expecting it to begin with...

The moment he realized that I wasn't able to fly the three of us over to the ship, Luffy did one of his gum gum moves and stretched one of his arms out over the ocean and to the ship, much to my surprise, and then did the very stupid thing of grabbing me and Ace and jumping into the air.

This had the effect of causing all three of us to go flying through the, aimed straight for the deck of the ship. Well, sort of at least. Ace and Luffy were aimed straight for the deck, me on the other hand....

I was flying straight at the mast of our ship.

_'Ah, crap.'_

* * *

First Ace hits on her, now this? Huh... I wander what would happen if me and Zoro ever met face to face... do you think he would kill me for writing this crap?

And yeah, I know, Boredly isn't a word, but I just couldn't think of another word to use, so deal with it.

Once again, you guys reviewed enough for me to update quickly. Like I said before in previous chapters, the more you people review, the faster I update. :3 Hope you liked this chapter, anyway, I'll start on the next chapter in hopes that you guys will give me enough reviews for me to update this by the time I'm done writing it.

**To Eduard Kassel: I have decied to put him in his own ark after I finish with Arabasta and before I start on the sky islands ark, he's just that awesome! **

**To Everyone else: BAD-GUYS ARE SERIOUSLY NEEDED! PLEASE SUBMIT SOME EVIL OC'S!**

I am excepting OCs, please follow the template if you want me to add yours.

**OC Template**

**NOTE: OC's MUST be submitted via review, all OC's submitted by PM will be ignored.**

**Character Name: **(Full name please.)  
**Age:  
Gender:  
Race:** (If it is an original race, please understand that I will only use it if it fits in the one piece world)  
**Description:** (Looks,  
**Personality:  
Likes dislikes:  
Can I use this character as a bad guy- Yes/No:  
Weapons:  
Special attack:**  
**Other:** Anything else you want to add.  
**Relations: **Just tell me how they are related to any character(s) in the one piece world (Just like with Race, I withhold the right to not use this if I think it doesn't really fit in the fic or with the series.)

**Please check for polls in my profile, there is always one up.**

**Please review, the longer it takes for me to get reviews, the longer I take to update (why update if no one is reading?)**


	5. Two Days Out, One Good Walk In

**Chapter 4: Two Days Out, One Good Walk In**

**Disclaimer:** I am in no way associated with any legal rights to one piece in any form, I do not own one piece or any part of the merchandising, gaming, manga, anime, characters, or anything of the sort. Oda owns everything, I am simply a fan that wrote this for my amusement as well as for the amusement of my friends. No money was made from this in any way, shape, or form. Please do not sue me as I do not have any money anyway. The only things that I own from this fic are my own original characters. I also do not own any of the Final Fantasy stuff, so please don't so me for using them in this either. Once again, I don't have any money, so please don't sue me.

**Summery:** This is the Zoro version of part 2 of my fanfic 'My Life In One Piece'. Read that first before you read this.

**Pairing:** Zoro/Kaede  
**Rating:** Currently it's only T, but I may very well change it to M at a later time.  
**Warnings:** I'm crazy, so you can pretty much expect anything.

**A/N1: I KNOW ZORO IS ALSO CALLED ZOLO, **

**A/N2: Yep, this is the Zoro/Kaede version. As I said in the final chapter of 'My life in one piece', each of the 'part 2s' are going to be completely different from each other, that way you can read the ones you want to read and not have to worry about them sounding exactly the same with just the names substituted, because that would be boring. (I mean, come on, who wants to read the same thing over in over again just so that you can read the pairings that you like, that would just be stupid.)**

**A/N3: Well, you all voted, and the poll winner was 'Early in the Arabasta ark', so that's exactly what you get. :3, enjoy my little pervs.**

**A/N4: Yeah... Um... I kind of want to get everyone ready for the Davy Back fights (because I love the pirate games, so you can expect them to happen every once in a while), so I'm giving Kaede her first white magic spell book, that way she can start working on 'Reflect', 'Shell', 'Deflect', 'Slow', and 'Haste'. So... expect some awesomeness with at least one of those spells in the next few chapters. :3**

**A/N 4: None of my reviewers have commented on this, but one of my friends did. He asked my why I keep writing the money down as 'Beli' when Funimation and 4kids both say 'beri' and 'beries', so, hears the answer:**

**While Funimation is a lot better then 4kids, there are still a few mistakes that they made with translation, but I think they did it intentionally in an attempt to make the tv transaction, which didn't last long anyway, less confusing. The sight for r and l are the exact same in quite a few words in Japanese, however, the one piece currency is called BELI, both in plural form and in singular form. Also, Alabasta is actually Arabasta. As I said above, I think that Funimation did it intentionally to keep people from getting to confused if they have seen the 4kids episodes to, but I will continue to write them the way they were actually written by Oda, the creator of One Piece. HOWEVER, I do not always get it right because I do not know all the translation , so I am sorry for making so many mistakes myself.**

_'thoughts'  
_"Words"  
(inner Kaede)

* * *

Two days, that's how many days I was unconscious because of Luffy's 'gum gum through the air' thing and the concussion I already had from him slamming me through all those walls. When I finally woke up, Chopper informed me that I had had a major concussion, which made Sanji, over protective and way to woman crazed Sanji, explode.

Once he finished beating the crap out of Luffy and had made me nicest looking Tangerine Pie, which Nami charged Luffy for instead of charging me for it, he went about fussing over me. Apparently, for the two days that I had been out, everyone had bee moving slowly up stream, having already been convinced by me before we even landed in Nanohana that we couldn't stop the rebels and instead had to stop the Crocodile first and then the rebels.

Apparently, being able to see the future made it easy for me to convince Vivi about that, which I vaguely remembered Luffy having a hard time of doing in the anime. Once we were up the river, we would then travel across the lake towards Crocodile's base, where we would fight him. I didn't really like that idea all that much as I would have thought that we would have simply gone to Vivi's Castle and rest up and train before the fight, but I quickly changed my mind when Nami pointed out to me that Crocodile was bound to have a lot of treasure hidden in his base.

Hey, what can I say? Nami's trained me well.

Once we had all of that settled, and I managed to tie Chopper up so that he would have to stop trying to force me to stay in bed, I went up to the deck to see how close we were to stopping. When I got up there, I found that Ace wasn't with us anymore.

"Hey, where's ace?" I asked wandering where he was and why he wasn't with us.

"He was heading to over to Yuba, but since we're heading to Rainbase, he decided to head off without us." Nami said, pointing out that the quickest way to Yuba was to head into the desert about half way up the river, meaning he would have to waist time if he traveled all the way up to the lake at the end of the river with us.

At first I was a little annoyed with myself for not telling him that Blackbeard wasn't actually even in Arabasta, but then I realized that it meant that he was going to run into the kids and their father, which meant that he would be able to knock some since into the idiotic farmer and get him to see that he needs to spend more time with his children, so it was actually a good thing that I didn't get the chance to stop him from going. In the end, heading up to Yuba, even with Blackbeard not there, was still the best thing for him to do, even if it wasn't the best thing for him himself.

"Well, I guess I should probably go take a shower." I said, deciding that everything was working out for the best anyway.

Nami simply shrugged at my statement as I headed back into the storage room, heading to the back of it where the bathroom door was. On my way, I vaguely wandered where Zoro was napping as his usual spot near the front of the ship was empty. Not really caring about it all that much, I opened the bathroom door, without knocking, and found my answer. (A/N: Zoro fans, get your cameras ready)

He wasn't in the kitchen with Sanji....

He wasn't off somewhere napping...

And he wasn't wearing any clothes either.

Standing there, next to the tub naked and staring back at me, clearly having been about to take a bath, was Zoro, in all his naked-glory. Both of us were surprised to see each other. He was surprised to see me because as far as he knew, I was still unconscious below deck, and I was surprised to see him because... well... Just because of what I was seeing.

_'I must still have a concussion,'_ I thought in amazement with my eyes glued to a particular appendage attached to the naked body standing in front of me. _'Because that thing has got to be an anatomically __impossible...'_

Suddenly remembering his lack of clothes, Zoro glanced down at his own body, turned red, covered him self as well as he could with his hands, which didn't cover much, and started shouting for me to get out.

The moment he started shouting, my brain started working properly again. Hearing his shouts, I slammed the door shut and took off running, moving quickly through the storage room and shooting out onto the main deck, only to come face to red face with Nami almost instantly.

She hadn't been spying, and she hadn't known that Zoro was in the bathroom either. She hadn't even heard his shouts. She had simply been heading into the storage room to go downstairs and untie Chopper, who was still tied up from trying to keep me in bed. When I came face to red face with her, she simply stared at me in surprised, wandering why I was running around like a lunatic.

"I didn't see anything! I didn't see anything!" I shouted before she even opened her mouth, causing her to stare at me even more with an odd, almost pitying look on her face.

"Please tell me Usopp wasn't the bathroom? I was hoping you would be spared from seeing what the rest of us saw back when you and him were knocked overboard-" She started, clearly thinking that I had just walked in on the long nosed liar, only to pause a second later when she remembered something. "Wait a sec, I thought Usopp was up in the kitchen with Sanji and Luffy."

"Oh, no! No! No! No! Never mind! It's nothing!" I said a little to quickly, shaking my head frantically over and over again, though I was still staring wide eyes at her, unable to get the image of what I had just seen out of my head.

"Wha-?" Nami started, only to be completely ignored by me as I suddenly ran off, running around the side of the ship and making my way off to the back, hoping I wasn't going to run in to anyone.

As embarrassed as I was, I really didn't want to see anyone for a few minutes, at least not until my face turned back to its original color and I had calmed down at least. Luckily, when I got to the back of the ship I found that there wasn't anyone there. I was all on my own and was able to simply sit down and try to regain some kind of composure. I had never seen a naked man before in my entire life, and I had always thought that the first one I would ever see would probably be a picture or something, but as it was, what had been in front of my eyes just moments ago was definitely not a two dimensional object.

"Oh god, get it out of my head!" I shouted in embarrassment, wishing my brain would listen to me and stop showing me images of... THAT. "Oh god, some please just kill me." I whispered, falling forward and burying my face in my hands, wishing someone would just kill me before the embarrassment did.

About nine minute after I collapsed on the deck at the back of the ship, Nami, Lil, Vivi, and Nichi came looking for me, wandering what the hell was going on. They had all heard me when I had shouted, but they had decided to let me have a moment to myself to get over what ever it was that I had seen, at least get over it a little bit anyway.

"Ok, talk girl, what's happened?" Nichi asked, her overly feminine voice drifting over the roaring sounds of the river as the ship moved quickly up the Sandora river. (A/N: Please see Author's note 1 and Author's note 2 at the end of the chapter)

It was amazing how such an overly masculine woman could have such a girly voice. Her voice always makes me think of a small child when she speaks. It was way to soft and child like for her super muscly figure. You would expect for her to have a voice like... I don't know, that butler from the Adams family or something, but nope, it was soft and girly.

Normally, that would have been the first thing that I would have though when hearing her say anything to me, unfortunately, my mind still wasn't working properly and the only thing that was in my head was something that I was incredibly embarrassed about.

"Yeah, we heard you shouting, is everything alright?" Vivi asked, coming over and kneeling beside me, trying to be supportive about what ever it was that had happened to me, though she didn't know what it was exactly.

"Yeah, and you were acting a bit odd earlier, so what happened?" Nami asked, causing me to turn ten shades of red again, much to her surprise.

"Yeah, what? Did you see Luffy naked or something?" Lil asked, piping up with one of her really bad jokes, not realizing how close she was to what actually happened.

It wasn't Luffy, but I did see _someone_ naked.

In answer to Lil's question, my face turned another few shades redder then what it had been after Nami's question, causing all of them to blink stupidly at me. Unable to stand the embarrassment any longer, I buried my face in my hands, wishing I could just disappear.

Seriously, why wasn't there a damn spell in my spell book to become invisible anyway?

Magic my ass, it can't even get me out of embarrassing situations.

Seeing my reaction to Lil's joke, everyone instantly gathered around me like a pike of jackles, waiting for the perfect moment to pounce.

"You saw Luffy naked?!" Nami gapes in surprise, unable to keep the mirth out of her voice, causing me to lash out and kick her in the leg, causing her to stumble slightly.

"NO!" I shouted, wishing they would all stop laughing at me already.

Hey, I didn't laugh at them when they saw what dangles between Usopp's legs, so why the hell did they get to laugh at me for this?!

"Eew!" Lil said in a sing-song voice with interest, making me want to strangle her little furry neck. "So, was it big, was it stretchy? Did he gum gum it and make it go boing?"

Dead.

That's what she is.

Dead.

I'm going to fucking kill her, and no one, and I do mean NO ONE will be able to stop me. I swear to what ever deity exists, she's going to get cut up and fed to my ammonites the moment her fuzzy little ass is facing the other direction.

"NO! IT WASN'T LUFFY DAMN IT!" I screeched angrily, summoning my metal mallet out of nowhere and smacking her with it, sending her flying over Nami's tangerines, over the kitchen, and right into the mast, causing a large dent to form in it.

For about half a second, everyone stared after Lil. Once that half second was up, they all turned their attention back to me, wanting me to tell them exactly what _did_ happen.

"So, if it wasn't Luffy, then who?" Nami asked, staring at me with interest along with the others.

"Well, it can't have been Lucian, because I've been talking to him since you woke up." Nichi piped up before I could even open my mouth, trying to figure it out on her own.

Once again, when she finished talking, I didn't get a chance to open my mouth because someone else piped up in an attempt to figure out who it was that I had walked in on.

"And I know Sanji and Usopp were in the kitchen at the time, so that can only me- ?!" Vivi exclaimed, realizing why it was that I had seen in the bathroom.

…

…

…

You know, normally she was way to 'work work work' and 'serious serious serious', but for some reason, start talking about accidentally walking in on a guy and she turns into a female version of her father... (A/N: see A/N 3)

Great... wish they had showed that in the anime, then I would have known to run when I saw her coming.

"You mean-?!" Nichi said, just as shocked as Vivi and Nami was.

"ZORO?!" Nami shouted in surprise, already planning her mode of attack so that she could embarrass me as much as possible.

Yeah, as I said before, Nami and I had become like sisters ever since we met, and unfortunately, sisters love to torture each other when it comes to embarrassment. It was just an unwritten rule, torture those you love as much as possible, and try to dodge the payback when it comes your way.

For the three next hours, Nami and the others bombarded me with non stop questions, all of them aiming to embarrass me to death, and trust me, they came very close to it. One of the questions, which was asked by Nami, even managed to turn the other girls red, including Lil once she managed to walk off the pain and came to join us again. When she had asked the question 'So, was it a long sword or a dagger?', I almost died, but that was only half as bad as her 'Sheathed or unsheathed' question, which I only got after thinking about it for a few minutes.

By the time they finished with me, I was so drained of life and so embarrassed that I just sort of lade there when Sanji called all of us for dinner. If it wasn't for Chopper coming and forcing me to head in for dinner, I probably would have just stayed there until I died. Apart from being drained of life from all the girls' questions and jokes, there was another reason why I didn't feel like eating when Sanji said dinner was ready.

And what was that reason?

Simple, guess who I usually ended up sitting next to during our meals?

Yep, it isn't a girl, and it isn't someone without a sword, it was Zoro.

So when Chopper came and dragged me off to the kitchen and forced me to sit next to the green haired swordsman, who turned out to be an even darker red then I was, I simply sat there in silence, unable to even open my mouth to eat. Luckily, the girls seemed to decide to take pity on me and didn't mention what had happened at all during dinner.

But once we got to dessert, that changed.

Once we all started eating the dessert that Sanji prepared for us, which just so happened to be Spotted dick, a type of pudding thing, the girls all went to town with the jokes, minus Vivi for some strange reason. In the span of time it took to get from the back of the ship to the kitchen she had somehow managed to calm herself down enough to not ask any perverted questions that her father would have been very proud of. That didn't mean she didn't hang on every one of Nami's, Lil's, and Nichi's jokes though. By the time dinner was over, Zoro wouldn't stop glaring at me, clearly thinking that I had willingly told the other what had happened, and I was trying to kill myself with a spoon, which for, some reason, wasn't working that well.

Luckily, the guys didn't get any of the jokes or comments that the girls were making, except for Zoro that is. He understood them completely, but that was only because he already knew what was going on and was able to fill in the blanks. By the time everyone finished eating and it was time for bed, he and I were both ready to die, which was why both of us instantly took off through the kitchen door the moment we finished our meals, which ended up causing the two of us to get stuck in the doorway together.

…

…

After seeing him naked earlier that day, getting stuck with him in the kitchen doorway, with our side pressed against each other, neither of us were able to do anything but panic. By the time we managed to get through the damn doorway, we had both nearly ripped it right out of the wall.

The moment I was through the doorway, I quickly hopped up into the crow's nest at the top of the mast in an attempt to get away from everyone. I usually took first watch anyway, so it didn't seem all that odd to Luffy, Sanji, Usopp, and Lucian. As far as they could tell, it was perfectly normal.

Lucky for me, the girls seemed to get that their jokes were starting to go to far and decided to leave me alone for a while and simply go to bed. For the next several hours, I sat up at the top of the mast, trying to keep my mind on the sea below. When Sanji finally came and relieved me of my duty, I headed off to bed, praying that I wouldn't dream of anything.... inappropriate.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Please note that I have decided not to write the dream that she had as I really don't want my fic to be removed from here, so let's just say that, as Kaede had never seen a naked man in person before, her subconscious decided to play dirty tricks on her while she slept. So just assume that it was very... entertaining.

* * *

Shooting up out of my hammock, drenched in sweat and nearly falling out of the fabric hung bed, I instantly started looking around me, only to realize that it had just been a dream.

_'It was just a dream.'_ I sighed heavily as my face turned tomato red, only to remember that I sometimes spoke in my sleep, which meant that I probably woke everyone up.

Realizing this, I quickly started looking around again, hoping that whatever I had shouted in my sleep hadn't been heard by anyone. Luckily, every appeared to still be asleep and the things that I know I had probably said while in dreamland, weather they were said out loud in the real world or not, would remain my little secret.

And if anyone was just pretending to be asleep and planing to corner me later, I would just have to kill them, so they had better not actually be awake.

Seeing that everyone was still asleep, I decided that going to back to bed would be tempting fate as I was sure that, if I did say anything in my sleep this time, I _would_ actually wake someone up, and that would just kill me. It was bad enough that I had seen what I had seen, but dreaming about it? Goddess, if anyone ever found out...

It's better not to think about it.

With that horrifying thought in mind, and another picture of a certain naked swordsman making its way into my head, I wined slightly, wishing I could just forget I had ever seen him naked. Wanting to get the image out of my head and the sweat off my body, I hopped out of bed and headed up stares, planning to take a shower.

Reaching the bathroom door, I paused, having almost opened it with out knocking. Luckily, nearly opening the door without knocking didn't cause me to have any flashbacks, so I manged to keep any more images from the day before from making their way into my head. Sighing heavily, and some how managing to remove the last of the dream-induced images out of my head, I knocked heavily on the door twice, relieved when no one answered my loud knocks. When I opened the door, I was even more relieved to find that no one was there and I was all alone.

_'Good,' _I thought in relief, glad that I hadn't ended up walking in on anyone this time. _'well, since no ones in here, I'll go draw some water and be right back.' _

It was annoying to have to check the bathroom, then go peddle some water up through the pipes by running on the bicycle like thing under the stairs that headed from the main deck up to the upper deck that had the kitchen, Nami's tangerine trees, and the back ship deck on it, but it was necessary. If you just assumed that no one was showering and went and started drawing up the water, and someone was actually in the shower or bath at the time, then that person would get a really cold shower weather they wanted one or not. You had to first let the water heat up for five to ten minutes before it was warm enough to actually bathe in, if you didn't...

Well, let's just say it's cold.

Normally I didn't need to perform this 'bath time ritual'. I usually just took baths, and since I could use both the fire spell and the blizzard spell, as well as the thunder spell, I usually just went to the bathroom, made sure no one was there, and just started casting blizzard in the bathtub, filling it up with ice. When I finished doing that, I would just cast fire on it over and over again for a few minutes until it was all melted and was warmed up enough for me to get in. It all only took me a few minutes to do it, where as drawing the water took about nine minutes because the filter that the water was drown up from the ocean through slowed the flow of the water down some, and then heating the water up took five to ten minutes, so in all it usually took about nineteen to twenty minutes to do it all.

That's about four times as long as if I just did it myself, so normally I didn't bother with the water drawing. Unfortunately, it wasn't a bath that I wanted at the moment, and I didn't know a spell to make it rain, so I was forced to peddle the stupid water drawing bike under the stairs and let the water heat up the old fashioned way like everyone else did. By the time I finished drawing water up from below, I had some how managed to completely forget about why I wanted the shower in the first place.

Great thing being unable to remember your dreams after you stop thinking about them, isn't it? And since I wasn't thinking about the dream at all, I didn't think about any of the Zoro images that had been flying through my head while sleeping.

Sighing heavily, completely unaware that I had forgotten all about Zoro and the dream I had had, as well as what had happened the day before, I headed into the bathroom and just sat there and waited, wandering how much longer it was going to be til I was able to actually take my shower. The moment the water was finally warm enough for me to take my shower, I locked the door, undressed, and stripped into the tub before pulling the curtains around me and pulling the little silver triangle handle at the end of a rope that turned the water release on.

The shower. Felt. Great.

_'Oh, dear goddess, why the hell did I stop taking showers?' _I thought, enjoying the massage like sensation the water was causing as it pelted against my back.

It wasn't until someone started banging on the door and told me that I should be the ship's musician that I finally remembered why I had grown to hate showers ever since we got the ship.

Singing.

I had a habit of singing in the shower, a habit that I had never learned to control. The first time I had the chance to bathe after we got the ship, I had instantly decided to take a shower, mostly because I was afraid that the ship's movement would cause the tub's water to slosh around madly. While in the shower that day, I had started singing 'Hands Clean' by Alanis Morissette, almost as soon as I had finished the first verse, Luffy had started banging on the door, demanding that I become the crews musician, and then singer when I finally managed to tell him that I didn't know how to play any instruments.

This time, however, I had somehow managed to get through Bon Jovi's 'It's My Life', Alanis Morissette's 'I'm A Bitch', Aerosmith's 'Jaded', and about half way through Jo Dee Messina's 'I'm Alright', before he started banging on the door.

Yeah, I know, Rock, alternative, and country. I have a broad range of interests, so sue me. (A/N: Actually, on second thought... I don't have any money, so please don't.)

Wishing that the idiot would just go away, I quickly rinsed the shampoo concoction that Sanji had made out of my hair and got dressed, all the while ignoring Luffy's shouts. When I finished getting dressed, I quickly squeegeed the water off the walls, the ceiling, and the floor and headed out through the storage room, casting fire on Luffy when I ran into him, and walked out onto the main deck, ignoring Luffy as he ran out of the storage room and jumped overboard in an attempt to put the fire on his ass out.

Apparently, my singing had woken everyone up because Sanji, Chopper, Lucian, Lil, Choco, Carue, Vivi, Nichi, Nami, and unfortunately Zoro were all sitting around the deck, waiting for me to get out of the shower. When I saw Zoro sitting there, waiting with the others, my cheeks turned a slight shade of red, though it wasn't nearly as bad as it had been the day before. Somehow managing to ignore it, I walked forward and sat on a barrel next to Nami while Sanji dove over the side of the ship and saved Luffy. When the two of them were back and Luffy finished spitting up water, Nami started talking, smartly choosing to ignore that fact that I had been singing in the shower again, even though I had woken her up.

Normally she would have fine me for waking her up without an emergency, but she apparently felt bad about all the jokes the day before, so she was willing to let me get away with it for once.

"Around five this morning we finally reached Sandora lake." She said, setting a map she had bought in Nanohana on a barrel in front of everyone pointing out our location. "We've been moving pretty slow so that Usopp and the others could make some repairs, but we still managed to cut a few days off our journey by traveling all the way up stream instead of walking through the dessert."

"Plus, the fighting dugong that Luffy beat have been guarding the ship, so we haven't had to worry about the giant fish that live in these waters." Vivi pointed out, causing me to realize for the first time that I had never actually asked anyone what had happened while I was unconscious.

_'Huh, so the did actually dock at the river's entrance... and Luffy fought the dugong...' I _thought, wandering why I hadn't noticed that there were a huge number of dark shadows swimming on all side of the ship.

When I remembered that I had been so distracted with the Zoro stuff, I turned a few more shades of red, but managed to brush it off enough to continue listening to the conversation that was going on.

"Yeah, the dugong are pretty strong, so we don't have to worry about the ship getting destroyed if we leave it here." Nichi pointed out crossing her arms and sitting back a bit against the railing of the ship, looking over the side to look down at the dugong below. "They can't follow us through the dessert, but I'm betting they'll be able to stop anyone from trying to take over the ship if they stay behind."

"She's right, so we don't have to worry about the ship. All we need to do now is focus on our main objective." Zoro agreed, also crossing his arms and leaning back, the only difference being that he was leaning back against the mast.

"Yeah, all we need to do is beat Crocodile, and everything will be OK." Luffy said simply, actually paying attention for once.

"Come on! It's not going to be that easy!" Usopp exclaimed, wishing that Luffy would stop acting like everything was going to be easy. "Crocodile's one of the seven warlords of the sea! It's not going to be easy to beat him, idiot!"

"Exactly!" Nami exclaimed, forcing everyone to pay attention to her once again. "Which is why we need to come up with a plan!" She said commandingly, causing me to wander who the real captain was.

Seriously, I know we say that Luffy's the captain, but with Nami always taking command... I'm not so sure that's the real case.

"So, first thing on the agenda is, what do we know about the Baroque Works agents?" Nami asked, pointing from Vivi, to Lucian, to Nichi, and then to me. "So, what do you guys know about them?"

"Well," Vivi and the other two started, going everything that I already knew, talking about the system that Baroque Works works on and the few agents that they had heard anything about or that we had already met.

It wasn't until Nichi mentioned something about there being a rumor that one of the other partner days' was actually a hippo that I perked up. She didn't know much about it, but apparently there was a woman that had eaten a zoan devil fruit that aloud her to turn into a giant hippo that could eat anything. She wasn't sure if the rumor's were true, but she did know that if they were, then this hippo woman's failure rate was zero percent.

Because she simply swallowed her enemies whole and was done with them.

"You mean she actually eats her enemies?!" Nami, Usopp, Vivi, Lil and I gasped in horror, horrified at the very idea of being eaten alive by a hippo-woman.

"Yes, and she supposedly as the ability to hide herself in sand as well, which means, if she's real at all, we may very well run into her at any time." Lucian stated, surprising Vivi slightly.

Apparently, she hadn't heard of this woman at all, which was normal because most of the Baroque Works agents didn't know that much about each other at all.

"Wait a sec, didn't we already run into a guy like that?" Usopp asked, remembering a certain king from Drum island. "His name was Wapol, right?"

"Well, I guess his powers do essentially do the same thing, but he didn't have the ability to turn into a hippo or hide himself under sand." Sanji pointed out, thinking it over for a minutes. "So, who do you think this woman's partner is? It can't be Crocodile's, since we already met her and she didn't exactly look like a hippo woman."

"I don't know, but you're right. That was Ms. All-Sunday, and she's even worse." Vivi said, thinking about how strong Robin was and what she had done.

"Actually, she's not that bad." I said, correcting her and surprising everyone. "I think I said this before, but Robin is actually only using Crocodile, and she didn't actually kill Igaram." I explained, causing Vivi and the others to look at me sceptically.

"But we saw her-" Vivi exclaimed, only for me to stop her about half way through her statement.

"No, we didn't. All we saw was an explosion and her on our ship. We never actually saw Igaram die." I pointed out, causing everyone to pause and exchange looks. "Like I said, she's actually not a bad person. She just needs for Crocodile to believe that's she's loyal for a little while, then she'll help take him down."

"So you mean he's alive?!" Vivi gasped hopefully, praying that I was saying what she thought I was saying.

"Ms. All-Sunday didn't kill him?" Nichi asked in surprise, wandering if I was right or not.

"You mean Mr. Curlie's alive?!" Luffy asked excitedly, happy to now that the curly haired man was still alive and kicking.

"Exactly, as long as he hasn't gotten himself killed, then he's still alive and on his way to Nanohana." I said, causing a few tears of happiness to fall from her eyes. "He's a little behind because of some event's that I don't know about, but apart from that, he's perfectly fine, so we won't have to worry about Robin for the most part, as long as none of us say anything about her plans from here on out, she'll be more like an ally."

Everyone, or at least almost everyone, understood what I was saying. As long as we didn't endanger whatever it was that she was doing, Ms. All-Sunday wasn't going to be a problem. Unfortunately, Luffy didn't seem to understand that and wanted to know why we had to keep her secret.

"Why should we keep her secret anyway, I don't like her." The rubber man said childishly, making me want to smack the crap out of him

First he doesn't like her because he thought she killed Igaram, now that he knows Igaram is still alive, he just doesn't like her because he's to childish to get over it unless something happens. Once he sees her do something to save people, like trying to kill Crocodile herself, then he would like her, but not before.

WHAT THE HELL?!

Everyone tried over and over again to explain it to him, but he had already decided that that was just the way it was going to be. It wasn't until Nami pointed out that the pirate king would keep her secret that he actually gave in, though it only barely worked, which made me think that it was probably never going to work again.

For someone that is supposed to be stupid, tricking him into doing stuff only ever seemed to work only once when it was us that were trying to do it, which just proved that he was a lot smarter then he pretended.

"Well, not that that is settled." Nami sighed, getting everyone to calm down again. "What else do we know about the Baroque Works agents? Do any of them have any weaknesses?"

For this, Nichi, Lucian, and Vivi had no answer. They didn't even no that much about any of the other Baroque Works agents to begin with, everything they did know was just rumor, and even that was just limited to their powers. Luckily, I had watched enough of the Arabasta ark to know exactly what the weaknesses of some of the agents were, including the weakness of Crocodile himself.

It took me a few minutes to explain everything that I knew about the agents that Vivi, Nichi, and Lucian hadn't known, including the part about the gun that ate a dog dog devil fruit, the part about Mr. 2 being unable to hold a form a split second before he attacks, and Crocodile's weakness against water. When I finished telling everyone about Crocodile's weakness against water and how he drained all the moisture out of the air, Vivi was so filled with rage at finding out that he was the reason for them having no rain that she ended up pounding the wooden floor of the deck until her fists were covered in her own blood.

With everything that that bastard had taken from her and her people, I couldn't blame her for her sudden fit of rage. Her entire kingdom had been nearly destroyed because of the lack of rain, and it was all Crocodile's fault, even in ways that she hadn't known. Everyone was about to kill each other because of him, and now, after everything she had learned about him, it turned out that he was even crueler then she had ever expected.

Once we finally manged to calm her down enough and Chopper had patched up her fists, we all turned our attention back to the conversation we had been having, trying to figure out the best course of action.

"So I guess we have a choice." I said, getting everyone's attention, finally laying out the options that I knew of in front of them. "We can either head west towards the capital city, Alubarna, where we can rest up, train, and plan our strategy, or we can continue on with the current plan and head east towards Rainbase, where we can fight Crocodile as soon as we get there and hope that we get the chance to steal some of his treasure in the processes."

"Well, if we have to fight him either way, I vote for stealing his treasure!" Nami said as her eyes turned into dollar signs and started glowing creepily.

_'Do my eyes do that when I think about treasure?'_ I wandered in amazement, hoping that they didn't ever look that way.

(A/N: yes, I know I make her eyes turn into dollar signs from time to time too, but she can't actually see her eyes, so she doesn't know that.)

"Yeah, but if we head to Alubarna, then we'll have time to prepare before the fight." Usopp pointed out, cutting into my thoughts and unintentionally reminding me that I still had more to tell them.

"Oh, I almost forgot to tell you guys!" I said, slapping a hand to my forehead for forgetting a key piece of information, one that they kind of needed in order to make a well informed decision. "Ok, sorry for forgetting to mention this, but, Rainbase has a lot of water in it and Alubarna doesn't, but in Rainbase, Crocodile also has a sea-stone cage, so if one of the devil fruit user's touch it or get's put in it, they'll loose all their energy."

When I finished my statement, everyone just sat there in silence for several minutes, trying to decided what we should do. While they were deciding everything, I was too busy fanning myself in an attempt to stay cool.

During all the excitement of the previous day and everything that had happened when we were in Nanohana, I hadn't even noticed how freakin hot it was. It was as if someone had thrown me into a freakin oven or something, and I was used to the St. Louis summers where they could get up to 98 degrees Fahrenheit or higher, so how fuckin hot was it that I was about to pause out from heat exhaustion?

"Let's head to Rainbase." Sanji suddenly said, breaking into my thoughts about the heat and causing everyone to look up at him. "Weather or not there is sea-stone there, with all the water, it's still our best shout at stopping Crocodile."

He was right and no one could deny it. With Alubarna not having much water in it, it would be incredibly hard for us to fight him, though not impossible. If we went to Rainbase and confronted him there, then it would make the fight several times easier for us. We already had a disadvantage as it was with not knowing anything about several of his agents, plus there was the fact that he had so many agents to begin with. If we wanted to cut Crocodile's advantage in half, then we needed to have the place somewhere where there was a lot of water, and Rainbase fit that bill perfectly.

Nodding his head as everyone agreed, Luffy stood up on his spot on Merry's lamb shaped head, and pointed to the north, which was the wrong direction, and shouted out his final decision.

"Now, let's head east to Rainbase!"

* * *

Sorry it took me so long to finish writing this, but I had to rewrite it over and over again because every time I re-read it, Kaede kept coming off as falling in love with Zoro on first site, and I really didn't like that. I hate it when people decided the pairing and the two characters in the pairing go from not even noticing each other to jamming their tongues down each others' throats in less then two seconds. It's freaking annoying and sounds like crap when you read it.

**(A/N: 1)** I couldn't find the name of the river, so I just took a guess at it, since there is a Sandora Cat fish, I used Sandora as the name. If anyone knows what that river is actually called, please tell me so that I can correct it on here.

**(A/N: 2)** I decided to go with Nichi's (Ms. Monday's) Japanese voice, so that's what I'm talking about when I say 'overly Feminine. )Hm... I wander what a naked Zoro looks like... -mind hits the gutter-.

**(A/N: 3) H**aving way to many girls for friends, I've noticed that a lot of girls, even if they are way to serious normally, always seems to turn into evil cackling pervs whenever something embarrassing happens to me, so I decided to make all the girls act that way for this chapter. (I refuse to tell you what embarrassing thing they recently tortured me over, but let's just say they made me want to died...)

Anyway, you guys reviewed enough for me to be happy for now, so review this chapter the same amount and I'll be happy. :D The more you people review, the faster I update. :3

**To Everyone : BAD-GUYS ARE SERIOUSLY NEEDED! PLEASE SUBMIT SOME EVIL OC'S!**

I am excepting OCs, please follow the template if you want me to add yours.

**OC Template**

**NOTE: OC's MUST be submitted via review, all OC's submitted by PM will be ignored.**

**Character Name: **(Full name please.)  
**Age:  
Gender:  
Race:** (If it is an original race, please understand that I will only use it if it fits in the one piece world)  
**Description:** (Looks,  
**Personality:  
Likes dislikes:  
Can I use this character as a bad guy- Yes/No:  
Weapons:  
Special attack:**  
**Other:** Anything else you want to add.  
**Relations: **Just tell me how they are related to any character(s) in the one piece world (Just like with Race, I withhold the right to not use this if I think it doesn't really fit in the fic or with the series.)

**Normally I wouldn't do this, but here's a review based poll: should they beat him in Alubarna or in Rainbase? (the answer does not effect the number of twist, turns, or chapters in this ark, only the location of crocodile's demise)**

**Please check for polls in my profile, there is always one up.**

**Please review, the longer it takes for me to get reviews, the longer I take to update (why update if no one is reading?)**


	6. A Walk In The Summer Island Sun

**Chapter 5: A Walk In The Summer Island Sun**

**Disclaimer:** I am in no way associated with any legal rights to one piece in any form, I do not own one piece or any part of the merchandising, gaming, manga, anime, characters, or anything of the sort. Oda owns everything, I am simply a fan that wrote this for my amusement as well as for the amusement of my friends. No money was made from this in any way, shape, or form. Please do not sue me as I do not have any money anyway. The only things that I own from this fic are my own original characters. I also do not own any of the Final Fantasy stuff, so please don't so me for using them in this either. Once again, I don't have any money, so please don't sue me.

**Summery:** This is the Zoro version of part 2 of my fanfic 'My Life In One Piece'. Read that first before you read this.

**Pairing:** Zoro/Kaede  
**Rating:** Currently it's only T, but I may very well change it to M at a later time.  
**Warnings:** I'm crazy, so you can pretty much expect anything.

**A/N1: I KNOW ZORO IS ALSO CALLED ZOLO, **

**A/N2: Yep, this is the Zoro/Kaede version. As I said in the final chapter of 'My life in one piece', each of the 'part 2s' are going to be completely different from each other, that way you can read the ones you want to read and not have to worry about them sounding exactly the same with just the names substituted, because that would be boring. (I mean, come on, who wants to read the same thing over in over again just so that you can read the pairings that you like, that would just be stupid.)**

**A/N3: Well, you all voted, and the poll winner was 'Early in the Arabasta ark', so that's exactly what you get. :3, enjoy my little pervs.**

**A/N4: Yeah... Um... I kind of want to get everyone ready for the Davy Back fights (because I love the pirate games, so you can expect them to happen every once in a while), so I'm giving Kaede her first white magic spell book, that way she can start working on 'Reflect', 'Shell', 'Deflect', 'Slow', and 'Haste'. So... expect some awesomeness with at least one of those spells in the next few chapters. :3**

_'thoughts'  
_"Words"  
(inner Kaede)

* * *

Once everyone agreed on our destination, we all packed and got ready or the long trek through the dessert. It took as a while to pack up everything we were going to need, though it wouldn't have taken nearly as long if Usopp and I hadn't decided to take our experiment stuff with us, which I ended up storing in my froggy bag. Actually, I ended up storing most of the stuff we were all taking in my froggy bag. At first, I had only planned on putting my stuff in the little green bag, but after about twenty minutes of packing, unpacking, and repacking, Usopp finally came over to me and asked me to let him put all his experiments and stuff in it so that he could work on some things whenever we stopped for the night. Knowing that his experiments could be useful, I told him it was OK.

As soon as we had bagged all his stuff up, I tied it to the end of one of my spare ropes, then tied the end of it to the rope that was holding all my stuff to the top of the froggy bag so that I didn't loose it. Almost as soon as we finished up, Nami, Vivi, Nichi, and Lucian all came up to me and asked me to do the same thing with their stuff.

And then Sanji came over and asked the same, followed closely by Luffy, and Chopper. In the end, the only ones that didn't ask me to store their crap in my froggy bag was Zoro and Lil, and neither of them actually had anything they needed to take with them to begin with.

Once we were all packed and ready, and I had put on a bandana to keep the gallons of sweat out of my eyes, we set anchor and headed ashore, pausing for only a minute to allow Vivi a moment to write a letter to her father. When she was finished, she handed the letter to Carue, who, along with Choco (who was refusing to leave her side), took the letter, swam across the lake, and ran off into the distance, heading for the capital city Alubarna.

"Good Luck guys." Vivi whispered with worry in her voice, clearly afraid that something might happen to them on there trip to the castle.

"Don't worry about them, Vivi." Nami said, coming up to the blue haired princess's side and putting a hand on her shoulder. "I know Choco's a bit of a bird brain, but he's a lot stronger then he looks, and a lot more lethal then you would expect. If anything happens, he'll keep Carue safe, trust me."

"Yeah, I raised that Nutty bird from a hatchling, and I can tell you this, there is no bird that can beat Choco in any way shape or form, and as soon as he learns how to fly, he'll be unstoppable." I said, still looking off into the distance, wandering how far the two love-birds had already run.

It was amazing how fast they were. They had been there one moment, and then all that was left in their spot the next moment was just two smoke trails.

Unfortunately for my amazed staring, my statement seemed to surprise everyone a lot more then it should have. While I had know for a long time that Choco would one day be able to fly, as all Chocobos could, everyone else apparently hadn't known that, which made sense as Chocobos aren't actually found in the one piece world.

"FLY?!" Everyone shouted in unison, surprise evident in their voices and shock plastered across their faces.

Turning to look at them, I couldn't help but smile at the way their mouths were all starting to fill up with sand. They were all just standing there with their jaws comically sitting on the ground in that all to amazing anime style that I had gotten used to seeing. You think that nothing would be able to surprise them by now with all that they had seen so far, both from the stuff they had seen me, Choco, and Lil do as well as the stuff they had seen since we had entered the Grandline. There is no such thing as impossible, and they should have figured that out by now.

"You mean Choco can fly?! That's so cool!" Luffy shouted excitedly, throwing his fists up in the air in his excitement.

"Really? That's amazing! The spot billed ducks found here are so large that they have lost the ability to fly, though there are rumors that some of them can manage it for a few seconds, but Choco is already larger then Carue, and you say he'll eventually be able to fly?" Vivi asked in amazement, unable to believe what I was telling her. "Does that mean he isn't even full grown yet? I mean, sure there are huge birds that can fly, but I just assumed that he was a land bird with the way he's always walking around..."

"Yeah, so why doesn't he fly instead of walking?" Luffy asked, proving that he wasn't completely paying attention as I had originally said that he hadn't learned to fly yet and Vivi had just repeated that statement.

"She just told us that, he doesn't know how to yet! Idiot." Nami said in annoyance, smacking the rubber man on the back of the head for not completely paying attention.

"Yeah, but why can't doesn't he know how to, did he forgot?" Luffy asked, causing everyone to sweat-drop in response.

…

What can I say? It's Luffy. Did you really expect something else? But still...

That is one stupid question.

"No he didn't forget you moron." Zoro growled, sounding just as annoyed as Nami did.

"No, he's just not quite old enough to fly yet." I explained, causing them all to stare at me in shock again, apparently unable to believe that Choco wasn't full sized yet. "Well, at least I don't think he is. Usually Chocobos learn to fly on their own. Plus, I've seen some Chocobos that were twice the height of most people, and Choco is only about eight feet tall, so I think he has a little growing to go, but then again... it is possible that he's just one of the smaller breeds and is already fully grown and is just being lazy with learning how to fly."

"Really?" Nami asked, wandering if it was the later explanation that was correct. "Well, if he wasn't full grown, then he wouldn't be falling for Carue yet, so I bet it's just the lazy thing, but either way... Flying? That's just amazing for a bird of his size."

"I agree, even if he is already full grown, being able to run on land as fast as he does and being able to fly at the same time is just amazing, I don't think there is any other bird species in the world that can do both like that." Vivi stated, just as amazed as Nami was.

After another few minutes of talking about how amazing Choco was, everyone turned their attention towards the large expanse of dessert that was between us and Rainbase and started walking. Unfortunately, there were a few set backs. While all of us, Chopper included, were able to walk for a while without a problem, we were walking for just over an hour and a half when three things happened all at once.

The first thing that happened was Chopper collapsing. While he had been able to walk through the dessert for a while without a problem, the dessert heat finally caught up with him and caused him to collapse in the sand. His breathing was hard and labored, it was as if the heat itself was drawing the air right out of him.

The second thing that happened, was pretty much the same thing, except for the fact that it was Lil this time. While I think that cats originally evolved in the dessert or something back in my own world, Lil was a man made breed, a Norwegian Forest Cat, and that meant that she was a lot furrier then most of the naturally found cats in the world. Basically, while man had bred her breed to look a certain way, it took away her ability to live in hot climates, and that meant that she was literally about to die of heat exhaustion.

The third thing that happened, and the problem that was most important to myself, was all Lil's damn fault. If she hadn't eaten that mother fucking fortune cookie.... GAH!

Well... You can probably guess what happened....

Since I have some of Lil in me because of her eating the damn fortune cookie, I was unable to take the heat as well. While I had thought it was incredibly hot while we were on the boat, the fact that I had been sitting in the shade inside the ship most of the time, or had been laying in the shade behind the ship during the early morning and the evening, it was nothing compared to this. As soon as we had started walking, I had become almost impossible for me to breath, and it only got worse as we continued moving.

In the end, the three of us were left just laying there in the sand, unable to breath properly or move even an inch while the others were forced to gather around us and figure out what the hell was going on and how they were going to deal with it.

"Kaede-sweet! What's wrong my darling? Are you hurt? Are you hungry? Do you need me to give you a tender massage?" Sanji asked a little to helpfully, bypassing an equally over heated Chopper and rushing over to my side when he saw that I was laying on the ground.

"Not now Sanji!" Vivi shouted, smacking the cook on the back of the head, getting just as annoyed as the rest of us girls always got whenever Sanji got overly... Sanji on us.

"Chopper, Kaede! What's wrong? Do you two need some meat?" Luffy asked, also receiving a smack to the back of his head for his stupid question.

Great, I'm lying there in the sand, having trouble breathing and about to die of heat exhaustion, and those two are just asking me stupid questions?!

…

Can someone smack them again for me?

Lucky for my sanity, Nami seemed to be thinking the same thing because she did just that. Coming up behind the two idiots, she bashed both of them on top of the head with her fists, growling at them angrily.

"Will you two idiots be quite?!" She growled angrily as a vein in he forehead started throbbing madly, causing everyone that could move to sweat-drop at her and take a step back from her.

Once she was done reprimanding the two for their stupidity during an actual crisis, she turned her attention back to Chopper, Lil, and I and shook her head at our heat-induced half unconscious state.

"I should have known something like this was going to happen." She said, causing everyone to look at her oddly, wandering how she could have possibly predicted that this was going to happen. "It should have been clear that Chopper and Lil wouldn't be able to handle all this heat since they're both covered in so much fur and Chopper grew up on a winter islands. As for Kaede, I mean... you were walking around on Drum Island without wearing a jacket or coat and you weren't even effected by the five degree weather. It's no wander the three of you can't handle the heat."

"That makes sense." Nichi stated, looked between the three of us and clearly feeling bad for us. "I mean, if you were a human you would probably have frozen to death on that island and you would be able to walk around on this one without to much of a problem, even if the heat does make it hard to breath. I guess this means that Ctarl-Ctarls are from a winter island or something?"

Unable to actually form any full thoughts to actually come up with an answer to her question, the best I could manage was a simple grunt that seemed to be enough to confirm what she was asking me, though I didn't actually know what the hell she was saying anymore as the heat was starting to really mess with my head and it was really getting hard to think at or pay attention at all. After a few minutes of just laying on the hot sand, I finally broke down and just started digging, completely ignoring everyone as they continued talking and surprising everyone that was paying attention to what I was doing.

"Kaede-?!" Lucian asked in surprise when he saw what I was doing, causing everyone to turn their eyes back to me.

"Huh?!" They all shouted, seeing that I had somehow managed to dig a huge tunnel under the sand in just a few seconds, something that should have been impossible thanks to the fact that dessert sand, unlike beach sand, tends to collapse in on itself almost instantly if you try to dig a hole in it.

Luckily,being a witch, I had a certain spell on my side that made it a lot easier to keep the sand from collapsing on me, and, even though I was to over heated to actually think straight, use it I did. Plus, the spell had another bonus that came with it. It cooled the sand down and created a good deal of cool air, and it also created a lot of steam that somehow managed to be way cooler then the air around it.

The Blizzard spell.

It froze the sand, it cooled my body, and it let me dig a massive tunnel in the sand that let me keep myself cool and out of the dessert sun. If you take that spell and add in the fact that some cat's actually bury their extra food to save for later, though not many of them, and you ended up with a large frozen hole in the middle of the sandy Arabasta dessert.

After several minutes of me just sitting there in my deep frozen dessert hole, Nami and the others finally crawled into it, wandering if I was willing to come out of it yet. When they were all finally in it, they were amazed at how large it was and at the fact that I had somehow managed to a frozen hole large enough for ever single person in the group to sit in without being crowded in it.

"Awesome!" Luffy said in amazement, unable to hold it in any longer and relieved that he no longer had to stand out on the hot dessert sun.

From the way he looked, and from what little the cool ice was now allowing me to remember of the anime, I could tell that he was almost as out of it as Lil, Chopper, and I was. It must have something to do with the fact that his body is made of rubber, because everyone else seemed to be completely fine with the heat.

Once everyone got over there shock at what I had managed to do in just a few minutes, everyone started talking to me, trying to get me to come out of the hole with them.

"Nope, not happening." I told them, unwilling to leave the cool air of my little cave anytime soon.

Really, did they think I was suicidal or something? Leaving my little whole would be the same as impaling myself on a large sword, and that just wasn't going to happen.

"Look, how about this, we sit tight for the next few hours, and when the sun starts to go down, everyone can get into the froggy bag and I'll just fly us to Rainbase, OK?" I suggested, hoping everyone would go with it so that I wouldn't have to walk through the hot dessert.

"Well, I guess that would be faster..." Nami said, thinking about it for a minute and and pointing out that it would be a lot faster for me to fly them there during the night and sleeping during the day instead of walking there during the day and sleeping at night.

"Yes, but in the dessert, it get's incredibly cold at night and I'm not sure if everyone could handle it without being around a fire to keep us warm." Vivi stated, pointing out the flow in flying at night.

Apparently, she forgot that the froggy bag was magical and didn't change at all on the inside regardless of what happened on the outside. It would always be the same temperature on the inside of it, something I had figured out a long time ago when I was searching through it for something. It had been really warm outside, but the bag had been around 70 degrees on the inside. When I realized that, it didn't take me long to figure out that the temperature inside it never changes, regardless of the outside temperature.

"Actually, it's always 70 degrees Fahrenheit in it, regardless of the temp outside. If everyone is inside it while I'm flying around, no one will have to deal with the cold, so having me fly around is really the best thing for all of us." I explained, causing everyone to think about what I was saying.

After another forty five minutes of discussing it, in which I ended up casting blizzard on the cave five more times to keep it from melting, everyone decided that we would wait until nightfall and I would just fly us all there and we would sleep in the meantime, with me waking up every few minutes to freeze the ice again.

Once we decided what we were going to do, everyone just sat back and waited, wandering how many flights it would take us to get to the Rainbase.

* * *

Well, I hope you liked the chapter, I decided to just close my eyes and type it without thinking to much about it, something I haven't done in a long time. I used to write that way all the time and things would just stat.... I don't know... _flowing_ out of my head without a problem, but because I usually don't write like that anymore, I usually end up spending several hours just trying to write a few paragraphs. Anyway, for not bothering to think abut everything to long, I think I did pretty good, don't you?

Anyway, Once again you guys reviewed enough for me to be happy for now, so review this chapter the same amount and I'll be happy. :D The more you people review, the faster I update. :3

**To Everyone : BAD-GUYS ARE SERIOUSLY NEEDED! PLEASE SUBMIT SOME EVIL OC'S!**

I am excepting OCs, please follow the template if you want me to add yours.

**OC Template**

**NOTE: OC's MUST be submitted via review, all OC's submitted by PM will be ignored.**

**Character Name: **(Full name please.)  
**Age:  
Gender:  
****Race:** (If it is an original race, please understand that I will only use it if it fits in the one piece world)  
**Description:** (Looks,  
**Personality:  
Likes dislikes:  
Can I use this character as a bad guy- Yes/No:  
****Weapons:  
Special attack:**  
**Other:** Anything else you want to add.  
**Relations: **Just tell me how they are related to any character(s) in the one piece world (Just like with Race, I withhold the right to not use this if I think it doesn't really fit in the fic or with the series.)

**Normally I wouldn't do this, but here's a review based poll: should they beat him in Alubarna or in Rainbase? (the answer does not effect the number of twist, turns, or chapters in this ark, only the location of crocodile's demise)**

**Please check for polls in my profile, there is always one up.**

**Please review, the longer it takes for me to get reviews, the longer I take to update (why update if no one is reading?)**


	7. Happy Holidays

**Chapter 6: Happy Holidays**

**(please read the note at the end of the chapter in case you are wandering why I'm all 'ba-humbug' right now, but don't worry, I made sure my mood didn't effect the chapter.)**

**Disclaimer:** I am in no way associated with any legal rights to one piece in any form, I do not own one piece or any part of the merchandising, gaming, manga, anime, characters, or anything of the sort. Oda owns it, I am simply a fan that wrote this for my amusement as well as for the amusement of my friends. No money was made from this in any way, shape, or form. Please do not sue me as I do not have any money anyway. The only things that I own from this fic are my own original characters. I also do not own any of the Final Fantasy stuff, so please don't so me for using them in this either. Once again, I don't have any money, so please don't sue me.

**Summery:** This is the Zoro version of part 2 of my fanfic 'My Life In One Piece'. Read that first before you read this.

**Pairing:** Zoro/Kaede  
**Rating:** Currently it's only T, but I may very well change it to M at a later time.  
**Warnings:** I'm crazy, so you can pretty much expect anything.

**A/N1: I KNOW ZORO IS ALSO CALLED ZOLO, **

**A/N2: Yep, this is the Zoro/Kaede version. As I said in the final chapter of 'My life in one piece', each of the 'part 2s' are going to be completely different from each other, that way you can read the ones you want to read and not have to worry about them sounding exactly the same with just the names substituted, because that would be boring. (I mean, come on, who wants to read the same thing over in over again just so that you can read the pairings that you like, that would just be stupid.)**

**A/N3: Yeah... Um... I kind of want to get everyone ready for the Davy Back fights (because I love the pirate games, so you can expect them to happen every once in a while), so I'm giving Kaede her first white magic spell book, that way she can start working on 'Reflect', 'Shell', 'Deflect', 'Slow', and 'Haste'. So... expect some awesomeness with at least one of those spells in the next few chapters. :3**

**A/N4: Ok, I know everything is going incredibly fast in this chapter and in the lat one, but I dicided that Kaede would have heat issues a long time ago, somewhere when I started the Little Garden Ark (though I only started making it more clear when we got to the Drum island ending), so I had to continue it. Also, it won't turn interesting until about half way through this chapter, so... yeah. That's all I got to say.... read on.**

_'thoughts'  
_"Words"  
(inner Kaede)

* * *

As it turned out, it took me only a day of flying to get to Rainbase from my little frozen hole in the ground, much to everyone's surprise. We were lucky that it took such a short amount of time because the moment Luffy was in the froggy bag, he started complaining none stop, wanting to know how much longer till we got there and just bugging the hell out of everyone. If it wasn't for Nami continually beating the crap out of him whenever he didn't shut up, I would have had to stop and kill him just to shut him up.

We would have gotten there even sooner then we had if it wasn't for the fact that I had ended up having to stop a few times so that people, mostly Luffy, could go to the bathroom. By the time we actually got there, everyone, including the camel that I had picked up about half way there, was thoroughly annoyed with the rubber idiot.

When I saved the camel from a giant man eating flower-plant thing, it took me several minutes to actually figure out where I had seen him before. When I finally realized that it was Eyelash, I let him get into the froggy bag, which scared the shit out of him. Oddly enough, with all the things that I had changed in the world, I hadn't been expecting Eyelash and Chopper's meeting to be one of them, but apparently, they didn't know each other at all, unlike in the anime and manga, which meant that Chopper hadn't nearly gotten eaten my the rebels this time.

When we finally got to Rainbase, the sun was starting to come up and so was the temperature, which is probably why I almost crashed into the side of a large building. If it hadn't been for Vivi and Nami sticking their heads out every few minutes to make sure that I was flying in the right direction, I would have put a whole new window in some guys house. Luckily, they manage to get me to pull up just in time to barely miss the the top of the house.

When they finally got me to land the broom, which took a while because I was to out of it to know what the heck they were saying, everyone had already decided that we would be waiting until nightfall to actually go in and fight the bastard from hell, much to my relief.

"Fine, whatever, just get my out of this heat." I groaned in misery, unable to move at all thanks to the heat exhaustion I was already starting to suffer from even though the sun was only barely above the horizon.

"Fine, fine, let's go." Zoro said, walking over to me and surprising everyone by throwing me over his shoulder and walking off towards the side of a building where there was a good deal of shade.

"Hay! Be careful you bastard! If you harm even one hair on her head, I'll kill you you jerk!" Sanji said angrily, not liking the fact that Zoro was touching me, especially since he wasn't holding me in a gentle manner.

Though, I seriously doubted it really mattered if Zoro held me gently or not, he probably would have hated the moss haired man even more if he was holding me bridal style.

Once I was out of direct sunlight, I started to feel a little better, though not by much. The ground and the side of the building weren't nearly as hot as they were in the direct sun, but the air was just as warm as it was any place else in the dessert. All the shade did was keep the direct sunlight off of me, and that wasn't really doing much to keep me cool. After a few minutes of just sitting there and trying to cool off, I finally managed to get enough energy to cast the blizzard spell a few time, which actually did cool me off, and quite a bit at that.

After a few hours of cooling down, I finally regained enough energy to think properly and decided that I should probably talk to the others about doing some reconnaissance while we were waiting for the sun to finish going down, now that I could move again.

"Hey guys, I think we should have a look around." I finally said after several more minutes of cooling down and thinking over what we needed to find out.

"Yeah, so did Sanji, Zoro, and Nichi." Nami said, causing me to look around at everyone, only to find that the three of them were missing.

_'Wow, how out of it was I?' _I wandered in amazement, wandering when they had taken off and surprised at the fact that I hadn't even noticed it.

"Yeah, and the rest of us are supposed to stay here and make sure you, Chopper, and Lil were alright." Vivi said gently, checking my forehead to make sure my temp had gone down.

It had.

"Huh? If that's the case..." I said curiously, looking around to make sure I hadn't missed anyone when I was checking to see who was there. "then where's Luffy?'

In answer to my question, everyone started looking around, having not even noticed when the rubber man had taken off, which told me that he was supposed to be there too. Knowing him, he had probably gotten bored and had just taken off to look for food or something, and if that was the case, then there was going to be a very angry blond after him later, plus a very angry Nami as well.

"Gr! LUUUFFFFY!" Nami growled angrily, practically demanding the ground itself to tell her where the idiot went. "If he gets us caught by Baroque Works, I swear I'll kill him!"

Having traveled with Luffy even longer then she had, I couldn't help but agree with her. If he was aloud to walk around on his own, odds were he was going to do something that was going to get us all caught. He was a great guy and a good fighter, but he was also incredibly bad at staying out of trouble.

Basically, we are so fuckin screwed it's not even funny.

"Maybe one of us should go find him." Lil said, though she didn't move even an inch from her spot on a particularly large ice crystal, clearly not planning on being the one that did the finding.

"You're right, one of us probably should, but who?" Lucian asked, only to turn pale when he saw how everyone was looking at him with half their faces covered in shadow and incredibly scary looking golden four point star like eyes glowing at him from those shadows.

After a few minutes of trying to force- I mean trying to convince him to go search for the rubber man, I finally broke down and split everyone up into two groups so that we could all search for him, which also took some arguing because everyone was still convinced that Lil, Chopper, and I should stay in the shade and ice instead of going to search for the gum gum idiot. In the end, I some how managed to convince all of them that it was a good idea for us all to go looking for him, with the exception of Chopper who was staying behind in case the rubber man himself or the others came back before we did.

When dividing up the groups, we tried to even out the strength as much as possible, which was incredibly hard as the four out of five main fighters were already gone, leaving only me as a primary combatant. In an attempt to level things out, much to Nami's and Usopp's horror, I made both of them the main fighters of team B while I myself was the main fighter in team A. I also placed Lucian on there team as he was technically one of baroque works top nine male agents and therefor had to be a decent fighter, though the expression that appeared on his face when I told him he was in their group made me seriously doubt if that was true or not.

In the end, because of all of Usopp's and Nami's complaining, along with the horrified look that was still stuck on Lucian's face, I ended up switching Lil with Usopp, which amazingly seemed to fix everyone's objections. Apparently, because of Lil's small size and her ability to lift pretty much anything, the others seemed to thing that she was an awesome fighter,

And it helped that I was letting her take the impact mallet with them.

In the end, this is how the groups were divided up:

**Team A: Me, Vivi, Lil**

**Team B: Nami, Usopp, Lucian**

**With Chopper staying behind.**

Once everything was decided, right before I left, not wanting to leave Chopper without some way of staying cool, I cast Blizzard on the shaded area several times, though I was sure it was probably going to end up melting a long time before anyone got back or even spotted Luffy. At least it would keep him cool for a little while. When I finished making sure he could keep cool, everyone set off to look for Luffy, heading in two different directions in hope of finding Luffy before Baroque Works did.

If he got us all caught before we had a chance to take down Crocodile, then we would really be screwed.

Once I finished helping Usopp and Vivi onto the roof of the nearest building, the three of us were off, running cross the roof tops and looking down into the streets below as we passed them, searching for Luffy the entire time. We past building after building and street after street, but we couldn't find Luffy anywhere. It was as if the rubber idiot was actually keeping himself out of trouble for once, something that none of us were dumb enough to believe. Luffy would always be Luffy ,that was why we both loved him, and got annoyed with him from time to time. If he were to suddenly start acting differently at all, especially if that meant he was keeping himself out of trouble, then it would mean that he was replaced by Mr. 2 without us noticing it.

After about an hour of searching, Vivi finally spotted something. When she did spot it, she hissed over at me and Usopp, telling us to stop and to be as quite as possible. Hoping she had spotted Luffy, the two of us made our way slowly across the roof towards her and looked over the edge of the roof we were standing on, only to see a large bald woman with a Baroque Work's tattoo on the top of her head.

And when I say she's large, I don't mean she's plus sized. Calling her large didn't even seem to really fit. She looked as though she was the twin sister of that large fat round night/priest from the Sky Island ark, and I'm not talking about the one that had the IQ Orb test either, I'm talking about the one that Robin beat the crap out of. This woman was just so... ROUND. If I had to guess how much she weighs, I would have to say she weighs around a ton, if not more. (A/N: Just in case you don't know, 1 ton is the equivalent to two thousand pounds, the largest man in the world only weighs around seven hundred pounds (I think).)

Apart from the sheer size of her body, there was another thing about her that made her stand out among the crowd. While most of the people from Arabasta were incredibly tan, not including Vivi, this woman's skin was so pale that it was actually painful to see. I've seen several albinos before, but even they had a slight pink to there skin, this woman looked like someone had drawn her on regular white sketch paper and had forgotten to color her in at all. If ti wasn't for the black tattoo on her head and the blue, gray, and brown clothes she was wearing, I would have thought that she was actually an incredibly misshapen marble statue that someone had pored several cans of white paint on. She was so pale that the hot Arabasta sun actually reflected off of her skin and into our eyes, making it incredibly painful to look at her.

None of us knew who she was, but she definitely wasn't one of the millions or billions, she looked way to strong for that. She may have been incredibly over weight, to the point that I think it might have been impossible for her to even exist back in my world, but she definitely head some strength to her, which was made even more evident by the fact that she was holding a large club that would have put Alvida's to shame. I wasn't sure if she was a partner agent, but she was definitely someone that we didn't want to fight, especially not with me, the main fighter of the crew, so weakened by heat exhaustion.

Unfortunately, I had put Usopp in my group, and while he was normally very good at sneaking around without anyone noticing him, he also had a habit of saying things a little to loudly when he's shocked or surprised, and that was where the problems began.

"Is it me, or does she kind of resemble a hippo?" Usopp asked a little to loudly in a nervous tone, clearly afraid that she might be lady that eats people that we heard about from Nichi and Lucian.

"Shh!" Vivi and I hissed, glaring at him for being so loud when there was a Baroque Works so close to where we were.

Once Usopp agreed to be quite, we all looked back down at the large pale woman in the street below, wandering if we could get some information on Baroque Works if we followed her. Unfortunately, when the three of us looked down at her....

she was looking straight up at us.

…

…

Damn it Usopp!

For the span of half a second, the four of us just sat there and stared at each other in surprise. After the half second was finally up, Usopp was the first one to move, which wasn't surprising as he was the both the fastest runner on the crew apart from Luffy and the biggest chicken in the world. The moment he talk off running, Vivi and I started running too, with all three of us running for our lives. While I'm usually one of the first ones that want to fight, I didn't think it was a good idea to try to take on any of the Baroque Works agents while suffering from mild heat exhaustion.

In fact, I was pretty sure that that would be a very stupid and very suicidal thing to do.

Glancing back behind us to see if the woman was chasing us, I sighed in relief when I couldn't find her. She was either incredibly slow, which was very possible, or she just hadn't recognized us and had decided that we were just a bunch of weirdos and not worth her time, which was also very possible. Either way, she wasn't anywhere in sight.

"Guys!" I called out, getting the others attentions, though they still didn't stop running, fearing that she was still after us and that I was just calling out to them to tell them that something else was coming after us. "You guys can stop now, she's not following us!" I shouted out to them, causing both of them to stop, turn, and start looking around, checking to see if I was right or not.\

"Fw! I though she was gonna get us for sure!" Usopp sighed in relief, only to change his attitude a second later like always. "I mean, I would have taken her down as I am Usopp, a great warrior of the sea! Hahahaha!"

Unfortunately, we weren't as alone as we thought we were...

"And who is it you were going to take down, long nose?" a incredibly squeaky voice said from behind us, scaring the crap out of us all.

Spinning around as fast as we could, all of us turn to face the stranger who had spoken, which turned out to be the large pale woman from before.

Oh shit.

"AH! IT'S HER!" Usopp shouted in horror, stating the obvious and running around in circles like always. "Kaede, do something!" he added frantically, temporarily forgetting that I was kind of running on half empty at the moment thanks to the heat.

Even though I felt so weak, I knew that he was right and that I had to do something. I might not be strong enough to actually beat her in a fight, if she was actually one of the number partner agents in, but I could at least slow her down or something so we could get away. At least that was what was going through my head when I decided to cast a blizzard spell on her feet, which were surprisingly small for someone on of her size. Most large people had large feet as well, but she kind of had the shape of an upside-down teardrop, almost as if her feet had been cut down until all that remained was the heel of her foot.

Basically... casting blizzard on her feet didn't really slow her down at all, at least not in the way I had been expecting it to. When I cast the spell, I had aimed at her feet in an attempt to essentially glue them to the roof so that she couldn't run after us. When she realized why I had cast the spell, she had simply smirked at me, with a mouth that was as wide as my hips were round, and simply lifted one foot, showing that I hadn't actually trapped it at all. Luckily, as I said before, the spell still slowed her down, just not in the way I had been expecting.

When she went to set her foot back down, she had probably been expecting the ice to shatter under her weight, which is exactly what I thought it would do as well, luckily though, that's not what happened. When she set her foot down, for some reason, it didn't even crack, however, her foot DID slip on it, much to everyone's horror.

Why did it horrified the rest of us when she's our enemy? Because she was on the same roof as we were, and as I said before, she had to weigh a few thousand pounds. Which was proven when she came face to brick with the roof. The moment she crashed into the roof, she went right through it, creating a huge hole in it and causing the whole thing to crack and crumble into thousands of little pieces. Unfortunately, as stated before, Vivi, Usopp, and I were all standing on the roof, and the moment it started to crumble, we all started to go down with it, luckily, I wasn't weakened enough from heat exhaustion to let us all fall and get hurt. Not wanting to fall or get crushed by falling debris, I flipped over in mid air and started jumping from one large piece of crumbling roof to another until I caught both Vivi and Usopp and had gotten up through the hole in the roof and over to roof of another building. (A/M: 1)

Breathing heaving and still a little shaken up about nearly falling to our deaths, even if it had only been a two story building, Vivi, Usopp, and I all collapsed on the top of the new roof, each of us trying to get our hearts under control. We all new we couldn't just sit there for long, especially not if that woman really was one of the Baroque Works partner agents, because if she was, then there was no chance that that fall took care of her.

And even if she wasn't, she still probably survived it anyway, at least that's the way my luck goes. Knowing my luck, that fall hadn't even hurt her a little and she was already planning on coming after us, and if that was the case then we really had to get moving.

"Guys, we have to start moving." I said, still breathing hard, though it wasn't from nearly falling to my death.

Heat exhaustion sucks big time.

"Right." They said in unison, both standing up and coming over to help me get up, knowing that I was probably starting to get weak again, especially since I hadn't pulled my broom out.

Serious, what kind of idiot has a magical flying broom but doesn't use it to keep herself from falling to her death? Seriously, this heat exhaustion thing is going to get me killed, either that or it's just going to continue to lower my IQ until Luffy can beat me at cards...

No, never mind, it's never going to get that bad. (A/N: 1)

letting them help me stand up, I couldn't help but feel annoyed at the fact that I was reduced to letting others help me up, even though I could still carry them and jump from falling thing to falling thing. It's just so embarrassing. My entire life my mom had always tried to force me to let her do everything for me, and I do mean force me. I had barely managed to get her to stop when I finally moved out right before I got dragged into this world, and I had been completely self efficient ever since I had gotten trapped here, even with being on the Strawhat pirate crew, for the most part at least...

But now... Now I was reduced to having people help me stand.

That's just bull damn it!

"I'm fine!" I finally said in exasperation when the two of them tried to help me walk, reminding them that it was just actually getting up that I was having a problem with and that I could walk fine on my own.

"Kaede, really, you can barely walk on your own!" Vivi said, getting a little to worried, like she always did whenever something happened.

"Yeah, you got to let us help you!" Usopp added, trying to convince me that it would be a lot faster if I let them help me walk.

For crying out loud, I had just saved their lives twice in a row and they were already thinking I was weak? I mean, come on! How the hell does someone go from carrying two people and jumping from one large falling piece of roof top to another, to being unable to walk on her own?

…

…

My life sucks.

By the time I finally managed to get them to let me go, which took some arguing, I was already starting to get worried about the large pale bald woman down below. She had to have gotten up by now and that wasn't a good thing. If she had, then she would be coming after us any minutes now, and that would be really really really bad.

Once the others were a few feet away from me, I cast a purposefully weak blizzard on my clothes, instantly cooling my body down, which instantly gave me the ability to function normally.

"Oh, well... I guess that does make sense." Usopp said shortly, finally realizing that I could fix my heat problem with a simple spell and suddenly feeling stupid for arguing with me about it.

"Why didn't you just tell us you were going to do that?" Vivi asked, wanting to know what the point of arguing with them was when I could have just explained what I was going to do and that would have gotten them to let me go sooner.

"Because, it's the principle of the matter." I said in a superior tone, only to have Usopp, the world greatest liar, see right through me.

"Yeah right, you just thought of it, didn't you?" He asked in a suspicious voice, narrowing his eyes at me and looking at me closely.

…

…

"Anyway, we should probably get moving, I'm sure that big pale bald woman is already trying to figure out where we went, so we should probably get out of here... yeah, let's go." I said a little to quickly, causing both him and Vivi to smack me on the back of my head, both annoyed with me for trying to act like they were just being stupid from the start.

Hey, what can I say? Even I can have a Luffy moment, so sue me.

…

(A/N: On second thought, please don't sue me, I don't have any money as it is.. .)

Once they got over my Luffy moment, we all started running again, though we were starting to think that the large pale bald woman from before hadn't actually been that strong since she hadn't come after us yet. If she was really as strong as we had thought she probably was, then she would have already come after us and attacked us by now, but since she hadn't, then we probably didn't have to worry about her. It wasn't until we clear the last roof and were on the ground near the edge of the city that the woman finally appeared again, proving our initial thoughts about her strength right.

As soon as all of us were on the ground and off of the roof tops, the side wall of the building we had just been on suddenly exploded, but what exploded out of it wasn't a really large pale bald woman...

It was a hippo.

A BIG HIPPO.

A really big fuckin hippo that was coming straight at us with it's mouth opened wide, clearly planning on eating us. If it wasn't for the fact that the hippo was a pure white color and wearing the same clothes that the pale woman from before had been wearing, none of us would have been able to even guess that it was her.

"AH! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?! RUN FOR IT!" the three of us demanded in horror as the rampaging hippo came flying at us, each of us turning around and taking off at the exact same time, heading out of Rainbase and into the dessert, not realizing that that was exactly what the hippo-woman wanted.

We were lucky the hippo woman was so slow, because every time she got near us, her large jaw would slam shut in an attempt to snap us up. It wasn't that hard for us to figure out what she was trying to do. Even an idiot would have been able to guess that she was trying to eat us, and that was a horrifying thought. This was definitely the same hippo-woman that Nichi and Lucian had told us about when we were back on the ship, and that meant one thing...

"Wait, if she's that hippo woman Nichi and Lucian were talking about... then that means..." Usopp said as the realization finally dawned on him, though none of us stopped running as we knew that would be incredibly stupid and suicidal.

"Yeah, that means she want's us out in the dessert!" Vivi finished loudly, reminding us all of the fact that Nichi and Lucian had said that the hippo woman supposedly liked to hide in the sand when she's trying to eat people.

In town, the roads all had gravel and some sort of cement on them, but in the dessert...

It was all sand.

"Get back here my little morsels! I'm not going to hurt you, I'm just going to eat you!" She shouted in that incredibly creepy squeaky voice, reminding me of a few horror movies I had seen when I was little.

Glancing behind us, I saw that she was no longer running after us. She was just standing there in the dessert, looking at us with these creepy glowing red eyes with a large and incredibly evil looking grin on her large hippo head. Even if we did somehow manage to defeat her and no one ever had to worry about her coming after them again, I was still going to have nightmares about that look. She looked as though she was crazy, and considering the fact that she actually eats people, it was definitely a look that perfectly mirrored her inner self.

Seeing the psychotic look on her face, it took all the energy I had, which wasn't much, to keep myself from running even faster. Wanting to know what the hell she was so happy about and why she had stopped running, I called out to the others and we all stopped and turned to look at her. As soon as we were all looking at her, as though that was exactly what she wanted us to do, the large hippo-woman started talking, and none of us were surprised to hear most of the things she said.

Though there were a few things that did surprised us...

"The name is Miss. Tuesday, the partner of Mr. 10, and he told me to watch out for all of you." She said, confirming our suspicions about her being a partner agent. "When I get a hold of you, I'll eat you up, then bury myself under the sand and swallow up as much of it as I can, that way you'll be buried alive inside of me, long before I finish digesting you!" She added in a tone that sounded way to excited.

"Oh dear god, it's Hannibal Lecter on crack!" I shouted in a horrified voice, unable to keep myself from panicking at the thought of getting eaten alive, especially when it was by a walking talking hippo.

Seriously, there's only so much a girl can take before she cracks, and I've just about reached my limit for the day.

My sudden outburst seemed to both surprise everyone, and hit an odd nerve in Miss. Tuesday, though I knew she didn't know who the hell Hannibal Lecter was, or what crack was for that mattered. I think it was just the fact that I had shouted it, or it could have just been that she really likes it when her food freaks out on her. Whatever it was that had flipped her switch, it didn't really matter because the moment the words were out of my mouth, she charged, running straight at us again. Luckily, like I said before, she was incredibly slow, and with how far away she was from us, there wasn't really any chance of her actually catching up to us. Her run was just barely faster then my jog, so there was no way she would ever be able to get anywhere near us, or even near our shadows for that matter.

Unlike before when we had simply started running the moment we saw her, this time Usopp started running in circles, shouting at me to do something about the crazy hippo-woman that was coming to eat us. Vivi still looked as though she wanted to run, but she still stayed there with us, clearly thinking that Usopp was right and that the best course of action was for me to start casting spells on the large, paper white mass that was coming towards us.

Knowing that they were right and that I had to do something, I started trying to think up whatever spell I could remember from the spell book, though it was incredibly hard because the spells were the same as some of the spells from Final Fantasy Nine, and I couldn't remember which ones were actually in the spell book and which one wasn't. In the end, in an attempt to protect us, I tried to cast several spells, and the moment the spells left my mouth, I knew they weren't spells that were from the spell book.

Oddly enough though, to my amazement, some of the spells actually worked.

While casting the spells frantically, the first few I tried, which were protect, guard, and shell, didn't work at all, but the fourth one I tried did actually work, much to my surprise. Which spell was it?

Reflect.

Unfortunately, when I was casting the spells, I had cast them one after another as fast as I could, wanting to get as many spells on us as I could, so when I cast my next spell, haste.... there was a small... well... let's just say it didn't go the way I wanted it to.

You see, I was casting the spells on all three of us at the same time, and reflect has a rather annoying side effect... when you cast it on someone and then cast another spell on them, that second spell, along with all any other spell you cast on that person until reflect disappears... well, they kind of bounce off of the parson and hit a the nearest possible target... and as the three of us had reflect on us, that meant that haste didn't land on any one of us, instead, it landed on...

Miss. Tuesday.

And that's not all. From what I could remember from the game, haste multiplies the speed of the intended target by three, and when reflect bounces spells off of people, it doubles the spells strength, meaning that haste multiplied Miss. Tuesdays speed by six. Now while her normal running speed was only barely faster then my jogging speed, if you multiply that by six, let's just say one moment she was off in the distance, and the next moment, all we saw was a giant hippo mouth, and the last thing I heard, was my friends voices, screaming at me angrily.

"YOU IDIOT!"

* * *

Just in case anyone is wandering, while haste in Final Fantasy Nine only has one level, I've decided to give all spells three levels, so she'll eventually learn Hastara and Hastaga, but that won't be for a very long time. Also, Hastara will multiply the targets speed by six and Hastaga will multiply the targets speed by nine, but it will be a really really really long time before I have her learn either of them.

A/N 1 : yeah, I still love the flashbacks that Nami had during the Arlong ark, not the ones about her child hood, but the ones about what she and the other Strawhat pirates did for fun on the ship. My favorite one though is the one where they are all playing go fish and Luffy doesn't understand the rules of the game and has a ton of cards in his hands. I kind of wish I could actually gamble against him in real life in a game of cards, that way I could be rich. :3

Anyway, Ba-freakin-humbug. -.- Sorry it took me so long to post this chapter compared to the last few, but I've been waiting for my new one piece box set to get here so I could watch the first half of the Arabasta ark and type this at the same time, but it's still not here yet. The place that I pre-ordered it from has a 1-3 days after release delivery time, but it's still not here. When I called the company to find out why I haven't gotten it when my friend, who ordered from the same place about two weeks after I did and lives only six houses down from me, already got his, they said that it would be her by the 19th at the latest, and today is the 21st, and it still ain't here...

T-T Maybe I'm just being impatient, but still, if my friend got his on time and he ordered after me and lives only six houses down from me, then I should have gotten mine by now too. He got his the day after the box set came out, and I'm still waiting... T-T.

Anyway, I decided not to wait for it anymore and to just write this, I hope you liked it. :3

Anyway, Once again you guys reviewed enough for me to be happy for now, so review this chapter the same amount and I'll be happy. :D The more you people review, the faster I update. :3

**To Everyone : BAD-GUYS ARE SERIOUSLY NEEDED! PLEASE SUBMIT SOME EVIL OC'S!**

I am excepting OCs, please follow the template if you want me to add yours.

**OC Template**

**NOTE: OC's MUST be submitted via review, all OC's submitted by PM will be ignored.**

**Character Name: **(Full name please.)  
**Age:  
Gender:  
Race:** (If it is an original race, please understand that I will only use it if it fits in the one piece world)  
**Description:** (Looks,  
**Personality:  
****Likes dislikes:  
Can I use this character as a bad guy- Yes/No:  
Weapons:  
Special attack:**  
**Other:** Anything else you want to add.  
**Relations: **Just tell me how they are related to any character(s) in the one piece world (Just like with Race, I withhold the right to not use this if I think it doesn't really fit in the fic or with the series.)

**Normally I wouldn't do this, but here's a review based poll: should they beat him in Alubarna or in Rainbase? (the answer does not effect the number of twist, turns, or chapters in this ark, only the location of crocodile's demise)**

**Please check for polls in my profile, there is always one up.**

**Please review, the longer it takes for me to get reviews, the longer I take to update (why update if no one is reading?)**


	8. Damn Those Evil Fortune Cookies

**Chapter 6: Happy frickin holidays**

**(please read the note at the end of the chapter in case you are wandering why I'm all 'ba-humbug' right now, but don't worry, I made sure my mood didn't effect the chapter.)**

**Disclaimer:** I am in no way associated with any legal rights to one piece in any form, I do not own one piece or any part of the merchandising, gaming, manga, anime, characters, or anything of the sort. Oda owns it, I am simply a fan that wrote this for my amusement as well as for the amusement of my friends. No money was made from this in any way, shape, or form. Please do not sue me as I do not have any money anyway. The only things that I own from this fic are my own original characters. I also do not own any of the Final Fantasy stuff, so please don't so me for using them in this either. Once again, I don't have any money, so please don't sue me.

**Summery:** This is the Zoro version of part 2 of my fanfic 'My Life In One Piece'. Read that first before you read this.

**Pairing:** Zoro/Kaede  
**Rating:** Currently it's only T, but I may very well change it to M at a later time.  
**Warnings:** I'm crazy, so you can pretty much expect anything.

**A/N1: I KNOW ZORO IS ALSO CALLED ZOLO, **

**A/N2: Yep, this is the Zoro/Kaede version. As I said in the final chapter of 'My life in one piece', each of the 'part 2s' are going to be completely different from each other, that way you can read the ones you want to read and not have to worry about them sounding exactly the same with just the names substituted, because that would be boring. (I mean, come on, who wants to read the same thing over in over again just so that you can read the pairings that you like, that would just be stupid.)**

**A/N3: Yeah... Um... I kind of want to get everyone ready for the Davy Back fights (because I love the pirate games, so you can expect them to happen every once in a while), so I'm giving Kaede her first white magic spell book, that way she can start working on 'Reflect', 'Shell', 'Deflect', 'Slow', and 'Haste'. So... expect some awesomeness with at least one of those spells in the next few chapters. :3**

**A/N4: Yeah, it's been a really long week. i'm now typing up a whole new fic (A fic that i am not going to be posting for a while, i want to get at least ten chapters written in it before i post it, otherwise, i'm going to have to write a new chapter for it every few weeks, and that just isn't going to happen. i have enough fics that i need to worry about as it is.), and my cat is sick, and so am i, and so is just about every freakin idiot that keeps calling me at one in the fuckin morning.... Oh, wait, no, their not sick, their just two seconds from getting shot. anyway, i hope you all like this chapter, i know i said i was going to post it a while back, but like i said, everything seems to be going down the drain at the moment, so please bare with me.**

_'thoughts'  
_"Words"  
(inner Kaede)

* * *

Getting eaten my a massive hippo-woman sucks, especially when she starts eating sand as soon as you're in her stomach. Seriously, it was bad enough that we all fell into a large room like place, which I was sure was actually her stomach that was just changed to be like a giant room with moving walls by the devil fruit she had eaten, but did she really have to go and start eating sand to? As soon as we landed in Miss. Tuesday's blood red room like stomach, sand started pouring in from the giant hole in the ceiling that lead to her mouth.

The room itself was so obviously her stomach that just looking at the walls or floor actually started to make me feel sick. The walls, floor, and roof were all that dark purple-red color that uncooked beef stakes are. There were also huge blue and purple veins all over the place, providing blood for the walls themselves. The veins were convulsing slightly as blood moved through them and the walls themselves were actually moving, making it even more obvious that they were alive.

Then there was the stuff on the floor.

When we had fallen into the room, Vivi and I had landed on our butts, but Usopp wasn't so lucky. He had actually landed on his face and knees. It wouldn't have been so bad if it wasn't for the fact that the floors were covered in a liquid that was so think that it kind of reminded me of snot. It wasn't anything like when we had gotten eaten by Laboon. When that had happened, the liquid had been incredibly deep and incredibly watery, but not this stuff. This stuff, while I was sure it was still stomach acid, wasn't anything like that. It was only about up to knew level, which means me and Vivi had ended up with it coming up to our breasts when we landed and Usopp had ended up with it all over him, and it was as thick as snot.

Please, if you have any pity out there, send it my way. Seriously, ever get digested before? Trust me, you don't want to be. It's incredibly grouse, and it ruins your clothes.

There were a bunch of other things on the floor as well, but I didn't notice them until I was actually started looking at them.

As soon as everyone landed in the room, Vivi and I jumped to our feet and started looking around in horror, unable to believe that we had really just gotten eaten. After a few minutes of looking around at the place with our jaws dropped in horror and our eyes popping out of our heads in surprise, Vivi realized something that I hadn't.

"Hey, where's Usopp?" She suddenly asked me, surprising me by pointing out that he wasn't with us.

Looking around frantically for the long nosed sniper, it took us a minute to find him. When we finally did, it was only because his legs were kicking and flailing around in mid air.

…

…

Well.... Um.. I-um... when he landed... well... you do know that your stomach has two holes right? One is where food goes in, and the others is where it goes out.... guess where Usopp's head landed?

When the two of us saw that Usopp's head was stuck in Miss. Tuesday's... drain, both of us could only sit there and stair at him for several minutes with our heads to the side, trying to figure out how he had managed to get his head caught in... THAT. We knew that, on a normal person at least, the stomach had several feet of intestines after the stomach before the actual exit, but it's still way to close for comfort.

When we finally got over our shock, surprise, and amazement at how Usopp had gotten stuck with his head in her exit, which we only managed to get over because we realized that his entire body was starting to turn blue, we both rushed over to him, grabbed his legs, and started pulling, hoping we would be able to pull him out before he suffocated to death.

When we finally manged to pull his head out of the little hole, which was surprisingly tiny compared to his head and seemed to be... quivering in a very grouse way, we all ended up falling back into the thick snot like stomach acid, causing it to splash all over us. Luckily, that was about the time that Miss. Tuesday started eating sand, which poured in from the hole over our heads and fell right on top of us, somehow managing to temporarily knock Usopp out because of how much suddenly hit him in the head all at once. It took us a second to wake him up, but once we finally did, that's when the screaming about how we were going to die started... well, sort of. It actually didn't start until after we reminded him of where we were... getting knocked out had apparently made him think that it was all just a bad dream, but once he realized that he hadn't been dreaming..

"YOU MEAN WE WERE REALLY EATEN?!!" He demanded in horror, putting both of his hands on his head and running in circles, clearly trying to find a way out, other then where he had almost ended up. "AH! AH! WHERE ALL GONNA DIE! AH! AH! WE WERE EATEN BY A GIANT HIPPO-WOMAN! AH! AH!"

I would say that I was surprised by his reaction, but it's Usopp. Seriously, is anyone surprised?

Before he had even started freaking out, Vivi and I had moved out of the way of the falling sand and had started trying to figure out how we were going to get out of the stomach, knowing that he was about to freak out and that it would probably be more productive to just ignore him. We had both known him long enough to know that us getting eaten wasn't going to be something that he was going to take very well, so we just left him alone and let him freak out and get over it on his own.

Sure enough, we had been trying to come up with a plan for several minutes when he finally stopped his screaming, came over to us, and started helping us figure out how to get out of the the the hippo-woman's stomach.

Unfortunately, none of us managed to come up with anything very useful at all.

"Couldn't you just use a spell to get us out of here?" Vivi finally asked when we had all finally run out of ideas, all of which had seriously sucked or ended with us getting crapped out and left buried in sand to die.

And that was just not an option.

"No, I can't just use a spell to get us out of here." I sighed heavily, already starting to get a headache again from all the heat that the stomach was giving off and the annoying itch that had started on my leg from the stomach acid trying to eat through the skin. "I don't know any spells that could get us out of here, and the only to that I can think of that might work at all, I haven't ever done before and would still end very badly for us."

"Are you sure? Well, just tell us anyway so we can decide for ourselves." Usopp said, clearly trying to act brave even though he didn't like what I had already said about the two spells.

"Yeah, maybe we can come up with a way to use them that could help us. If they can do anything that you think might help us, then you should tell us about them so we can know what our options are." Vivi pointed out, reminding me that some times it wasn't _what_ you could do that saved your life, sometimes it was _how_ you did it that did.

Knowing that she was right, though I was sure there wasn't anything we could do with the two spells, I decided to tell them what they were.

"Well, the first of the two spells is the minimize spell. I haven't used it before, and I haven't even seen it in my spell book before either, but it's a spell that can shrink you down to about a centimeter tall for a while, or at least I think it does." I explained, having already given into the fact that all my spells were straight out of the Final Fantasy series, or at least the ones I knew of were. "But we still won't be able to escape with it, because the only option will have if I use it is to go down through her exit and get crapped out, and then we would be buried under a ton of sand and would die smelling like... well, like what we would technically be."

"Yeah, I don't like the sound of that." Usopp said, and the look on Vivi's face told me that she agreed with him. "What about the other spell then? What does it do."

"The other spell, the second one, is teleport. It does pretty much exactly what it sounds like, but again, I don't know anything about it. I don't know the range, and even if I did, there's still no telling where we would end up. We could end up buried under a ton of sand like with the other spell, or we might even end up inside a wall or something. I need to actually find a spell book with it in it first, but that could take days and we don't have that kind of time. If I use the teleport spell, if it actually works at all, we'll still probably end up dying because of it." I said, hanging my head in misery.

Seriously, why the hell didn't I know any more spells and how they worked? All I have to work with is Thunder, Thundara, Blizzard, and Fire, plus a few others like frog, frog drop, toad, haste, reflect, and...

Actually, I forgot. I don't remember the other spells I could use...

Crap, that's not good.

I've been spending so much time working on the sub, modifying and remodifying and remodifying it again that I just hadn't had the time to actually look at the spell books or see what spells were actually in them. I had only gotten through about the first half of the black magic spell book by the time we had entered the Grandline, and I haven't looked at it once since then... maybe I should try and spend some more time studying the some spells...

shaking my head to clear my thoughts, I turned my attention back to the situation at hand, only to find that the massive room like stomach of the hippo-lady was already half filled with sand, making it almost impossible to move. Don't ask me how I didn't notice it happening while it was happening, because I have absolutely no idea how I managed to ignore it, I just did.

"Come on, think of something!" Usopp shouted frantically, having apparently been trying to get me to think of someway to get out of here for the past five minutes. "Are you sure there isn't anything else you can do? What about the stuff in your bag?"

"Yeah, didn't you say that you don't know what's inside it? Doesn't that mean that there is still a chance that there is something inside of it that can help us?" Vivi asked, causing me to turn my eyes back to the little froggy bag.

There was actually something in my froggy bag that could probably save us, but I really didn't like the idea of using it. It was kind of a wild card... but.. well... it was the only thing I could think of that might do the trick.

"OK, there is actually something that might get us out of here..." I told the others, calming Usopp down almost instantly.

"Well don't just stand there, tell us already." He said, clearly wanting to get out of the hippo-woman's stomach as soon as possible so that we wouldn't die.

"Well, you see..." I started, trying to figure out the best way to explain it.

Seriously, how do you explain a magical fortune cookie? That's just weird, even in the one piece world.

"Well, I have these cookies that can do just about anything, they're kind of like fortune cookies, but whatever the fortune says will actually happen, always." I explained, pausing only for a second to wander if they would even know what a fortune cookie was.

Apparently, they did.

"So, whatever is written on the little paper inside the fortune cookie will come try?" Vivi asked, wanting to make sure that she had heard me correctly.

"Well, that doesn't sound so bad.." Usopp added, not realizing that there actually was something bad about that.

"Yeah, well it doesn't sound very bad, but it is. You have to realize, not all fortune cookies have positive things written on the fortune. Sometimes it's just something random that doesn't really make any sense or even something that could make the situation even worse." I explained wanting them to understand exactly what could happen, while refusing point blank to tell them about the one that Lil had opened.

That would just be stupid.

"Well, it isn't like we really have a choice." Usopp said while Vivi just nodded her head in agreement, pointing out that we were probably going to die if we didn't open it.

Sighing heavily and knowing that they were both right, I stuck my hand into the froggy bag and started grouping around, concentrating on the fortune cookie. My hand was only in the bag for a little more then a minute when I finally felt something fly into it, something that I still didn't think I should crack open. When I pulled the little tan fortune cookie out of the bag and held it up for everyone to see, they each nodded at me, indicating that I should open it.

Taking a deep breath and bracing myself for whatever the fortune cooky was going to say, even if it turned me into a frog or something, I broke it open and read it out loud for everyone to hear, and trust me, it was something they really weren't going to like. The first cookie had had a weird joke on it that I still don't get, and this one wasn't much different. While a normal cookie would have just said 'these are your lucky numbers' or 'good things happen when you least expect them', this one had what sounded like a really bad bar joke written on it, and trust me, it wasn't a very funny one either:

'Four whores and seven beers ago, a hippo exploded'

* * *

Meh, maybe she shouldn't open any more of those cookies, they don't exactly seem to help her much do they? Anyway, in case anyone is wandering, the fifth voyage is now out and my season two fourth voyage just got here three days ago. T-T, Ironically, it got here the same time that my netflix fifth voyage go here, so I'm kind of having me a one piece marathon. :3

Oh, and in case anyone is wandering, Miss. Thursday will be popping up sometime soon too. She was submitted by Faded-shadow a while back as Miss. Tuesday, but I kind of forgot all about her, so she's going to be Miss. Thursday and will be showing up very soon :3, just so you all know.

Anyway, Once again you guys reviewed enough for me to be happy for now, so review this chapter the same amount and I'll be happy. :D The more you people review, the faster I update. :3

**To Everyone : BAD-GUYS ARE SERIOUSLY NEEDED! PLEASE SUBMIT SOME EVIL OC'S!**

I am excepting OCs, please follow the template if you want me to add yours.

**OC Template**

**NOTE: OC's MUST be submitted via review, all OC's submitted by PM will be ignored.**

**Character Name: **(Full name please.)  
**Age:  
Gender:  
Race:** (If it is an original race, please understand that I will only use it if it fits in the one piece world)  
**Description:** (Looks,  
**Personality:  
Likes dislikes:  
Can I use this character as a bad guy- Yes/No:  
Weapons:  
Special attack:**  
**Other:** Anything else you want to add.  
**Relations: **Just tell me how they are related to any character(s) in the one piece world (Just like with Race, I withhold the right to not use this if I think it doesn't really fit in the fic or with the series.)

**Normally I wouldn't do this, but here's a review based poll: should they beat him in Alubarna or in Rainbase? (the answer does not effect the number of twist, turns, or chapters in this ark, only the location of crocodile's demise)**

**Please check for polls in my profile, there is always one up.**

**Please review, the longer it takes for me to get reviews, the longer I take to update (why update if no one is reading?)**


	9. Panic Attacks And Flashing Lights

**Chapter 9: Panic Attacks And Flashing Lights**

**Disclaimer:** I am in no way associated with any legal rights to one piece in any form, I do not own one piece or any part of the merchandising, gaming, manga, anime, characters, or anything of the sort. Oda owns it, I am simply a fan that wrote this for my amusement as well as for the amusement of my friends. No money was made from this in any way, shape, or form. Please do not sue me as I do not have any money anyway. The only things that I own from this fic are my own original characters. I also do not own any of the Final Fantasy stuff, so please don't so me for using them in this either. Once again, I don't have any money, so please don't sue me.

**Summery:** This is the Zoro version of part 2 of my fanfic 'My Life In One Piece'. Read that first before you read this.

**Pairing:** Zoro/Kaede  
**Rating:** Currently it's only T, but I may very well change it to M at a later time.  
**Warnings:** I'm crazy, so you can pretty much expect anything.

**A/N1: I KNOW ZORO IS ALSO CALLED ZOLO, **

**A/N2: Yep, this is the Zoro/Kaede version. As I said in the final chapter of 'My life in one piece', each of the 'part 2s' are going to be completely different from each other, that way you can read the ones you want to read and not have to worry about them sounding exactly the same with just the names substituted, because that would be boring. (I mean, come on, who wants to read the same thing over in over again just so that you can read the pairings that you like, that would just be stupid.)**

**A/N4: Yeah, it's been a really long week. i'm now typing up a whole new fic (A fic that i am not going to be posting for a while, i want to get at least ten chapters written in it before i post it, otherwise, i'm going to have to write a new chapter for it every few weeks, and that just isn't going to happen. i have enough fics that i need to worry about as it is.), and my cat is sick, and so am i, and so is just about every freakin idiot that keeps calling me at one in the fuckin morning... Oh, wait, no, their not sick, their just two seconds from getting shot. anyway, i hope you all like this chapter, i know i said i was going to post it a while back, but like i said, everything seems to be going down the drain at the moment, so please bare with me.**

_'thoughts'  
_"Words"  
(inner Kaede)

* * *

Standing there in the large hippo-woman's stomach with Usopp and Vivi, staring down at the little piece of paper that I had just removed from its crunchy fortune cookie prison, I wouldn't have been surprised if all the blood had drained from my face. It's little message, or rather it's little cryptic prophecy, was definitely not what I was hoping for, nor was it any useful to us as we were still technically inside the hippo that it just said would be blowing up soon.

"DID THAT PIECE OF PAPER JUST SAY BLOW UP?" Usopp and Vivi shouted in unison, palling too when they both realized that I was officially out of ideas for how to get out of the situation.

For several long moment, in which Usopp just continued freaking out, Vivi and I just stood their, frozen in horror. Neither of us knew what to do about our current situation, and the both of us were in way to much shock to be able to actually think at all anyway.

Basically, we knew we were screwed and didn't have the ice-cream to go with it.

It took a while for both Vivi and I to come out of our horror induced coma like states, and when we did, we were both horrified to find that the sand was now up to our chests, making it almost impossible for us to move.

"This isn't good. If we don't think of something quick, we'll be done for!" Vivi pointed out, causing me to look at her with surprise in my eyes.

Ever since I had found out I was a witch, ever since becoming part kitty-girl, and ever since joining the crew and finding out that my father was THE Hawkeye Mihawk, I had simply gone with the flow and fought without really being all that afraid of anything, something I was now starting to think I got from Lil during the first fortune cookie event in the Crystal Hall.

Back in my old world, Lil was always the kind of cat that would actually try to attack a bulldog for sniffing at the corner of a building down the street, and I, while not being a chicken, had always been the kind to have a panic attack for several minutes before getting over everything and just going with it, but ever since I got to the One Piece world... Well, that hadn't been the case. Actually, minus the one panic attack in the Crystal hall, and maybe the one where I tried to attack my father when we met Sanji, I hadn't really had any panic attacks, but yet, Lil had had several panic attacks since then.

Basically, I think I got her Fearlessness in the trade, and she got my panicable tendency... So why the hell was I freaking out in a hippo-woman's stomach? Was I really so screwed that even the fearlessness I had somehow gotten had started to waver? Even with all the magic and spells I had, was I just that doomed?

_'FUCK THAT SHIT, I'M GETTING THE HELL OUT OF HERE!'_ I thought in rage, getting more and more pissed off at myself for having a 'OMFG, I'm going to die' moment.

Yep, I definitely have Lil's rage and fearlessness. I wander why I never noticed that before?

Gathering as much of my rage as I could into my hands, I placed my hands together and started rolling the spell into a ball instead of just snapping my fingers like I usually would for a Thunder spell. I'm not really sure what possessed me to do it, it might have been my rage or even simply my fear of dying, but for some reason, rubbing my hands together as fast as I could and trying to create a ball with one of the electrical spells just seemed like what my body wanted to do.

"THUNDER!" shouted angrily, tossing the little ball of electricity at one of the pulsating walls while completely ignoring the fact that the sand that was surrounding me hindered my movements almost completely.

Having herd my angry spell casting, Usopp and Vivi turned back towards me as fast and as best as they could, though the sand made that nearly impossible.

Seeing the balled up thunder spell flying through the air, everyone followed it with their eyes, paling noticeably when said ball simply bounced from wall to wall like a tinnitus. The one that paled the most though, was actually Usopp, who knew that there was no way the ball _wouldn't _hit him with his crappy luck.

Turning towards me, he barely managed to shoot me a glare and say "I hate you." before the ball popped him in the back of the head, causing Vivi to sweatdrop slightly while I simply went on, casting Thunder spell after Thunder spell, all the while ignoring Usopp's screams of pain as each and every one of the spells bounced off of the walls an slammed into a random part of his body, successfully electrocuting him each and every time.

"Kaede! Stop!" Vivi shouted frantically as I continues shouting random electrical spells at the top of my lungs, almost completely frying Usopp in the process

"No!" I shouted back at her angrily, starting to cast Thundara instead as I continued to get more and more angry at everything that was going on. "Stop? HELL NO! I got dragged through a freaky portal and into another world, got turned into catwoman second cousin and nearly drowned in a Crystal Hall, then I was nearly clubbed to death by the fuckin elephant woman, nearly chopped up by the ax handed bastard, Buggy the fuckin' clown, and captain-lick-my-ass-with-a-toothpick Kuro, then I almost get blown up by Don the fuck'tard, found out I'm a witch and a psychic and that my father is one of the seven warlords, nearly eaten by Arlong, nearly poisoned by one of his men, eaten by a whale, nearly burned to death INSIDE A FUCKIN PUMPKIN, nearly eaten by a metal-mouthed bastard, and then I'm dragged through the worlds biggest fuckin' litter box, and this is how fate decided to kill my ass! I DON'T FUCKIN THINK SO!" I ranted angrily charging as much electrical power as I could into another ball, attempting to pull off an entirely new thunder spell for me. "THUNDAGA!"

The instant the words left my mouth and the HUGE-ASS ball left my hand, the entire room went black, leaving the spell the only thing lit up. All of the balls before had been of various sizes, but none of them had been any larger then a softball, at least not until this one. This was much larger then the rest, instead of being small, it was almost the same size as a large beach-ball and definitely had the power to match its size.

As the large glowing ball streaked across the room, everybody froze in horror at what I had just done, including me. If that thing bounced off of the walls and came back to hit us, and there was no way it would hit ONLY Usopp as it was far to large for that, then each and every one of us would be killed.

Oh. Shit.

Right as the ball made contact with the wall, the three of us braised ourselves, knowing full well that it would be coming back towards us in less then a minute.

* * *

Fuyu: OMG, OMG, OMFG! Are they going to die? OMG, what's going to happen?

Lil' -Slap- Get ahold of yourself, nut case! You're the one calling the shots, remember?

Fuyu: Oh, yeah, sorry about that, I completely forgot... hey, since when can you really talk? I thought that was just in the fic?

Lil': You do reallize that I'm just in your head, right? Your cat can't talk, and it doesn't even look like me...

Fuyu: …

Lil': …

Fuyu: Doesn't that mean I'm pretty much just talking to myself?

Lil': Yep.

Fuyu: OMG! Insanity IS contagious!

lol

Oh, and in case anyone is wandering, Miss. Thursday will be popping up sometime soon too. She was submitted by Faded-shadow a while back as Miss. Tuesday, but I kind of forgot all about her, so she's going to be Miss. Thursday and will be showing up very soon :3, just so you all know.

Anyway, Once again you guys reviewed enough for me to be happy for now, so review this chapter the same amount and I'll be happy. :D The more you people review, the faster I update. :3

**To Everyone : Sorry, but I am no longer excepting OC's. Sorry.**

**Normally I wouldn't do this, but here's a review based poll: should they beat him in Alubarna or in Rainbase? (the answer does not effect the number of twist, turns, or chapters in this ark, only the location of crocodile's demise)**

**Please check for polls in my profile, there is always one up.**

**Please review, the longer it takes for me to get reviews, the longer I take to update (why update if no one is reading?)**


	10. Lost in a sea of sand

**Chapter 10: Lost in a sea of sand: The Battle for Rainbase Begins!**

**Disclaimer: **I am in no way associated with any legal rights to one piece in any form, I do not own one piece or any part of the merchandising, gaming, manga, anime, characters, or anything of the sort. Oda owns it, I am simply a fan that wrote this for my amusement as well as for the amusement of my friends. No money was made from this in any way, shape, or form. Please do not sue me as I do not have any money anyway. The only things that I own from this fic are my own original characters. I also do not own any of the Final Fantasy stuff, so please don't so me for using them in this either. Once again, I don't have any money, so please don't sue me.

**Summery: **This is the Zoro version of part 2 of my fanfic 'My Life In One Piece'. Read that story first before you read this if you haven't already

**Pairing:** Zoro/Kaede  
**Rating: **Currently it's only T, but I may very well change it to M at a later time.  
**Warnings:** I'm crazy, so you can pretty much expect anything.

**A/N1: **I KNOW ZORO IS ALSO CALLED ZOLO,

**A/N2: **Yep, this is the Zoro/Kaede version. As I said in the final chapter of 'My life in one piece', each of the 'part 2s' are going to be completely different from each other, that way you can read the ones you want to read and not have to worry about them sounding exactly the same with just the names substituted, because that would be boring. (I mean, come on, who wants to read the same thing over in over again just so that you can read the pairings that you like, that would just be stupid.)

**Massive note, please read!: OK, I know that most people hate 'super-power moments' for characters, and I've been fighting with it for a while, trying very, very hard not to do one since I know everybody hates them, but I just couldn't do it. I'm sorry, I want Kaede to have a 'I'm powerful and I'm going to fry your ass' moment for way to long, and fighting with it has given me the worst case of writers block I've ever had. Yes, that's right, the reason why I haven't updated in a while is because I have been trying to write this stupid chapter without having that kind of a scene in it, and have been screwing it up with each draft of the chapter. So, because of that, I've given up. I've decided that she's going to be super-powerful and you guys are just going to have to deal. If you don't like it, then kiss my fat ass, I. DO. NOT. CARE.**

_'thoughts'_  
"Words"  
(inner Kaede)

**oOoOoOoOoOoOo**

The moment the huge ball of electricity crashed into the wall, I closed my eyes in an attempt to not have to see my life flash before my eyes, only to snap them open again less then a second later when someone let out a ear splitting shriek and the entire room, or rather stomach, began to shake violently. **oOoOoOoOoOoOo**

The ear-splitting shriek was murder own my sensitive ears, it was so loud and so high pitched that I honestly thought that I was going to go deaf because of it. Surprisingly, when I began looking around for the source of it, I quickly came to the realization that it was in fact coming from the hippo-woman, who was screaming in agony do to something that I had not been expecting to see, even though it had actually been my goal the entire time.

There, in the exact spot that my spell had hit, was a massive whole of burnt and sizzling flesh, and, just beyond that, was a large tunnel of melted sand, all of which was quickly cooling to form fulgurite thanks to the heat absorbing abilities of the sand that surrounded it, rendering it as an almost completely crystal clear class tunnel, as well as the perfect escape route.

"What the hell?" We all shouted in surprise, seeing the huge hole of burnt flesh and semi-liquid fulgurite that my Thundaga ball had created.

For the single span of half a second, the three of us simply stood there gaping at the whole in front of us. All of us were frozen in shock, and it wasn't until Usopp, surprisingly, pushed his shock and surprise out of the way and shouted at us that we snapped out of our trance like states.

"What the hell are we waiting for?" He shouted as he began clawing his way out of the large pile of sand that had nearly completely encompassed his body. "LET'S GET HECK OUT OF HERE!"

Startled out of our trance like states, Vivi and I instantly started struggling with the sand that had piled up around use, each of us clawing our way out of our own piles, leaving large wholes where we had been encased by the sand. Once we were all free of the sand that had wrapped itself around us, we quickly made our way over to the large whole, still more then a little surprised that it even existed.

"The glass on the other side is probably really hot, if we escape through this, it might burn us." Vivi pointed out, though she didn't really sound like she was all that bothered by that fact.

Apparently, she'd rather be burnt to a crisp then drown in sand and get digested...

"Don't worry, I think I can cool it off a bit for us." I told them as I stuck my hand out towards the large glass tunnel while still trying to stay on my feet and not get knocked over by the thrashing burnt wall of hippo-intestines. "As long as the blizzard spell I use is weak enough, it should only cool the glass down and not shatter it." I add upon seeing the looks of apprehension on their faces.

Concentrating one keeping the blizzard spell as small as I could, I stuck my hand out and released the spell, instantly realizing that I had just used a new 'weakest ice spell', one that was so weak that it would probably only ever be used to make our drinks cool, or to cool down glass like I was using it to do at the moment.

I wasn't really sure how I knew that it was a new spell, one that was just slightly different from a blizzard spell but about one tenth as powerful, or how I knew what to call it, but sure enough, the moment I was about to release the spell, I called out an entirely different name then what I had originally meant to do.

"FROST!" I called out as I released the spell by slamming my hand against the burnt flesh, though I wasn't really sure how I knew that I had to actually make contact for the spell to work.

The moment my hand touched the flesh, all of the burnt and still sizzling flesh, sand, and fulgurite around it quickly started to cool, even going so far as to form a small layer of frost on it, which spread out from the point that my hand was touching much, growing and continuing outward until the entire tunnel was completely cooled and covered by frost.

Another effect that the frost seemed to have was the large hippo-woman releasing another ear splitting shriek as her wound suddenly went from burning hot to icy cold, which would have sent a normal person into shock.

"Well, it's not as destructive as your blizzard spell, but it still pretty cool, now, the question is, can you cool down drinks with it?" Usopp asked seriously, causing two small vein to appear on both Vivi's and my forehead.

"I don't really think this is the time for that, Usopp!" Vivi shouted at him as I grabbed him and quickly shoved him through the hole, whispering 'ladies first' so low that I was pretty sure that he didn't hear me.

Once I got Usopp through the hole, he actually got the hint and started crawling through the large glass tube, all the while trying not to slip and fall back onto Vivi (who was right behind him), and thus into me. Sadly, with as much thrashing as the large mass of flesh that the tube was jutting out of was doing, along with the fact that every single inch of the tube was covered in frost, it was almost impossible for him to not slip.

Surprisingly, the only thing that saved us and kept us from falling back down into the the stomach was my claws, which I promptly vowed to never call useless again.

With me constantly keeping us from actually going to far back, though I was kicked in the face quite a few times because of it, it only took us a little over thirty seconds to get out of the hole, though by the time we actually managed it, sand had started to pour down the tube thanks to a rather strong wind.

The moment we were out of the tunnel, the three of us created dust trails, or rather sand trails, as we took off as fast as we could, all of us still remembering that the hippo-woman was about to explode,

Sadly, the three of us didn't get very far before it happened. Just as we reached about thirty or forty feet away from the hole, the glass tube itself shot out of the ground like a missile and all of the sand behind us suddenly started to rise, forming a massive hill of sand that just continued to get larger and large.

At first, I though that it was the hippo-woman, which I'm sure is what the others were thinking as well, but I quickly realized that the hippo-woman (what was her name again) was no where near that size. She was big, but not that big, which could only mean one thing.

She had exploded, and she had exploded _underground_.

Just as we all reached the same conclusion, and promptly tried to speed up our escape even though we all knew it was useless, the 'hill' finally exploded, creating a massive tidal wave that rushed outward in all directions. The force of the wave was so strong that for a second I almost felt as if I was really being carried off by a massive wave in the middle of the ocean. It pushed and swhirled all three of us, trying to bury all of us while also trying to push us outward, making it feel as though we were being pulled, crushed, and torn apart all at the same time.

"Usopp!" I screamed when I saw him slowly going under the sand while trying to reach out to him uselessly.

To late.

Before I had even reached out my hand, he was already gone, having been buried in the sand not even a moment before. Praying against all the odds that he would be OK, though I couldn't really see how that was even possible, I continued my own struggles with the sand, trying not to get dragged under.

"Kida!" I heard Vivi shouting from a little ways off to my right.

Turning my head to the right as best as I could while trying not to get dragged under or crushed by the pressure of the sand, I saw that Vivi was being dragged under, and again, before I could even reach my hand out to her, she was gone, buried in the sand just as Usopp was, and a second later, so was I.

**oOoOoOoOoOoOo**

I'm not entirely sure how long I was out of it, but when I did finally come to, the sun was already setting, I was half buried in the sand with only my head and one arm showing, and there was a large gash in my forehead, but most of all, I was completely alone. (A/N: Don't worry, I didn't kill them off, she just doesn't know that yet)

Vivi was gone.

Usopp was gone.

And I was completely alone.

Two of my crew-mates, two of my friends, and most of all, two people I had grown to think of as family, were gone, having been buried alive in the sand.

All I could do when I realized that I had somehow survived while they hadn't was cry. I know, it sounds lame, and its not really much of anything, nor does it help the situation, but, really, what else could I do? What could anyone really do when they find that someone they cared for was gone?

Crying, though it was only a small thing, was really all I had to give them.

For a long while, I simply cried, unable to even try to dig myself out of the sand. My white hair was splayed out in the sand, tears were running down my face, and the sand itself just seemed to laugh at my loss.

I'm not sure how long I laid there crying, but by the time I was done, the sun had gone down and the moon had risen into the sky, but most of all, by the time I was done crying, anger, furry, and rage had set in, which was quickly squashed by a calm that I had never felt before, a calm that took away every emotion I had ever felt.

Ever so slowly, with the calm still permeating my very being, I dragged myself out of the sand, keeping my head down and began to slowly make my way back towards Rainbase, though I will probably never know how I knew it was in that direction.

When I finally entered the town, I just kept walking down the street, not even bothering to hide my face even though I was a wanted pirate. As I continued walking, more and more people started gathering around me, all of whom had the wrong looks on their faces if they were trying to pretend to be ordinary citizens. It wouldn't take a genius to see that these people were anything but thugs and pirates themselves, and they were just the people I wanted to see.

As more and more of them gathered around me, while for some reason not stopping my progression through the city, several of them started chuckling darkly, which either meant that they were thinking of my bounty, or they were the worst kind of thugs.

Doesn't matter, they won't survive either way.

Suddenly, I stopped causing several more of them to start chuckling, the a few of them finally noticed that there was something wrong with the atmosphere, or maybe they just realized that my eyes were hidden, which is always a sign of pain to come.

"Well, well, well, what do we have here?" One of the thugs asked, walking forward out of the crowed to stand right in front of me, not noticing that a good twenty of his sixty or seventy men were starting to look a little nervous and were looking around themselves, trying to figure out why the air was suddenly starting to crackle with an unknown energy.

Sadly for them, they weren't smart enough to take the hint that nature was trying to give them, they stuck around when they should have fled.

"You wouldn't happen to be from Baroque works, would you?" I asked with my eyes still hidden in shadows caused by my bangs.

"Yeah, and what is a pretty little thing like you going to do about it?" He asked darkly, stupidly stepping into my personal space.

Wrong fucking move.

**oOoOoOoOoOoOo**

Cue bad-ass fight music

**oOoOoOoOoOoOo**

"THUNDRAGA!" I shouted furiously, bring my hand up up and snappy my fingers right under his nose, hitting him in the face at point blank range with my most powerful attack and causing him to go flying back in a blast of light and the sound of a thousand chirping birds, not unlike the sound of Kakashi's favorite move in that anime Naruto.

"What the fuck?" One of the meant in horror when he saw his friend slam into a wall before dropping to the grown no longer breathing. "The bitch killed him!"

Before he even finished his sentence, another Thundaga spell shot through the air, this time slamming _him_ in the chest and sending him flying through the air. Seeing two of their friends fried in a heart beat, the other members of baroque works made a huge mistake.

They attacked.

"Get her!" several of the men shouted as they all began to swarm me.

Seeing one of the men bring a sword down to cleave me in two, I dodge to the left, grabbing one of his friends and throwing him into the first one's path, causing the man to cut his own friend down.

"THUNDRAGA!" I shouted again, slamming another man in the face with my new favorite thunder spell and some how managing to get a few of his buddies as well in the process.

At this point, instincts took over, and my instincts promptly got me the hell out of the way of some big ugly guy's twin swards that were about to dice me into little pieces from behind. Spinning around to face and and lunging forward to get my hands on him, I quickly grabbed his face, and shouted.

"BLIZARA!" in an instant, the man was turned into a human pop-sickle, once again, I spun around to attack, catching another man in the face as well. "Fira!"

For several minutes, this happened over and over again, with me using just about every spell I knew to either speed me up, block their attacks, or cause them an immense amount of pain while dealing their friends killing blows. The fight went all through out the city, and when I finally pulled my mallets out of my froggy bag, though I could have sworn they were with Lil, buildings weren't even spared. Hit after hit, the mallets destroyed everything. I had my steel mallet in my left, and my impact mallet in my right, and I was hitting everything I could with them.

Within ten minutes, I had taken down a large portion of the city's buildings, though I was very careful not to take down any residents as I really didn't want to hurt any innocent bystanders.

"Damn it, how many of you slime balls are there?" I shouted angrily, still swinging at any one and anything that came my way, and just as well too, seeing as how many of their agents were still stupidly trying to take me out.

If it was one of the primary agents, they might have had a chance, but seeing as these were just random unnumbered lackeys, they didn't stand a chance in hell, especially not with the mood I was in. "Aren't you people even worried about the citizens getting hurt or something? Our attacks might get one of them if you don't back off now!"

The man that was attacking her, simply laughed my statement, infuriating me further by his seemingly lack of care for innocent bystanders.

"Citizens? You're kidding right?" He laughed, lunging at me once again with a spear that seemed sharp enough to cut through just about anything. "Rain base doesn't have any citizens in it anymore, they were all told to leave and head for the capital for safety so that we could have our meetings without anyone finding out about them. This entire town is filled with nothing by baroque works agents, so give up! Surely you don't think you can win now!"

Hearing his declaration loud and clear, I simply knocked his stupid spear out of the way when he lunged at me, and gave him a true smile.

"Thank you." I said simply, causing him and all his friends behind him to falter slightly.

"Excuse me?" one of them asked stupidly, wandering what the heck I was thanking them for.

"Thank you, for telling me that I mean." I said, getting into a stance that I had been practicing ever since I had seen Zoro use it in Whiskey peak.

"And would that be something to thank me for? Are you happy that I told you that it's impossible for you to win? Does that mean you're going to give up and surrender?" the man asked, though he didn't exactly sound as though he would actually let me surrender and was in fact just asking because he wanted to gloat about it afterward with his friends.

Yeah the fuck right. Like I'm about to surrender to a moron like him!

"I'm thanking you, because that means that I no longer have to hold back." I said calming before performing a move that Zoro had performed with two of his swords, only I was using my mallets instead. "Hawk Wave!"

And with that, I spun around and swept my mallets outward, creating a small wave of energy that went flying the air. While my attack wasn't as wide spread as Zoro's was because of the fact that mallets have very broad and concentrated areas instead of wide and narrow areas, the attack was a bit stronger then his because of the impact mallet.

The moment I unleashed the attack, the wave shot out and acted like a canon ball made of energy and flew through building after building, leaving a large hole bigger then a man in each wall that it passed through. Everyone that stood in its path was blown away or crushed by the force of it. The men that had been standing right in front of me had gotten the worst of it since they were practically at point blank range, meaning that there wasn't a trace left of several of them.

Using everyone's surprise to my advantage, I took my impact mallet and started tapping the absorbing side of it over and over and over again until the mallet became so heavy that I could barely move it. Once I could barely lift it, I used every ounce of strength I could muster and lifted it above my head with both arms before bringing it back down to slam the discharge side into the ground.

The earth quake it created, even with the sand absorbing most of it, was huge. It sent shock-waves through all the surrounding buildings and even launched a few carts here and there into the air. Te force of it was so powerful that I could actually see what could only be a really young and really small banana-gator off in the distance get bounced in the air.

Well, now I know where Crocodile's casino is.

The moment I saw the gator get launched into the air, I took off in its direction, sighing in relief when I realized that the mallet had lost all of the weight it had gained with the taps I had given it. If I had had to carry it all the way to the casino with it weighing that much, then it would have slowed me down by a quite a bit, and that wouldn't be any good.

Crocodile was waiting for me, and I had no intention in making him wait to much longer.

**oOoOoOoOoOoOo**

Luffy: AH! Vivi and Usopp just got killed! AH!

Fuyu: No, you dumbass, she just thinks they've been killed, I wouldn't off any of the main characters, moron.

Luffy -Looks around stupidly- oh... can we have some meat then?

Lil' -Slap- Idiot, I want to find out what happens next! Don't you?

Luffy: Oh, yeah, sorry about that.

Fuyu: Um? Lil? If you're just in my head, then don't you already know what's going to happen next?

Lil': …

Fuyu: …

Lil': You do realize that you're just talking to yourself again, right?

Fuyu: OMG! Insanity REALLY IS contagious!

lol

Ack, sorry about that, I was bored, anyway, I hope you guys liked the fight scenes so far, in the next chapter, we reunite with the so called dead Vivi and dead Usopp as well as everyone else and we get to the final battle with all the baroque works agents. I hope you guys liked this chapter as much as I liked writing it (once I decided to hell with it and just wrote it with her having a super power moment)

Anyway, Once again you guys reviewed enough for me to be happy for now, so review this chapter the same amount and I'll be happy. :D The more you people review, the faster I update. :3

To Everyone : Sorry, but I am no longer excepting OC's. Sorry.

Please check for polls in my profile, there is always one up.

Please review, the longer it takes for me to get reviews, the longer I take to update (why update if no one is reading?)


	11. A maze of hallways really short chapter

**Chapter 10: A maze of hallways (a really short chapter)  
**

**Disclaimer: **I am in no way associated with any legal rights to one piece in any form, I do not own one piece or any part of the merchandising, gaming, manga, anime, characters, or anything of the sort. Oda owns it, I am simply a fan that wrote this for my amusement as well as for the amusement of my friends. No money was made from this in any way, shape, or form. Please do not sue me as I do not have any money anyway. The only things that I own from this fic are my own original characters. I also do not own any of the Final Fantasy stuff, so please don't so me for using them in this either. Once again, I don't have any money, so please don't sue me.

**Summery: **This is the Zoro version of part 2 of my fanfic 'My Life In One Piece'. Read that first before you read this.

**Pairing:** Zoro/Kaede  
**Rating: **Currently it's only T, but I may very well change it to M at a later time.  
**Warnings:** I'm crazy, so you can pretty much expect anything.

**A/N1: **I KNOW ZORO IS ALSO CALLED ZOLO,

**OK, I just want to say that firstly, this is not a good bye note. I do still plan to update this fic from time to time (proven by the fact that this IS an actual chapter, it's just after this note), but I think that we've all pretty much come to the understanding that it is incredibly hard for me to write more for this fic. My updates for it are almost none existent, and I am incredibly sorry for that. I will still try to update it, but I am saying it now, the updates for this fic are going to be few and far between because I've pretty much got the worst case of writer's block for this fic now. **

**However, I would like to note that I said 'for this fic', not 'for One piece' or 'in general'. The primary reason for my writer's block for this fic is because I ended up not updating for so freaking long because of loosing a little bit of interest in the anime at one point because, well, my interest went to trying, and failing, to write my book. The long time away from the fic made me grow a little bit away from it, and now I'm not even really sure what the heck is going on in the fic anymore. (I know that we are dealing with crocodile, but Apart from that, I'm kind of lost. I remember something about saving the she-man Wednesday or Thursday or something like that, bust I can't even remember if she's traveling with the crew right now or note)**

**However, now that I am taking a much needed break from attempting (and failing) to write my book (once again), I've decided to try to write a new one piece fic. **

**And guess what? Yep, it's yet another 'An OC falls into one piece' kind of thing. However, I decided that, since I have pretty much screwed all my current readers over (sorry), you guys get to decide the characters gender, power, the pairing, and if we skip over any of the arks (or rather, if we simply mention them in passing and move right by them to get to the other arks)**

_'thoughts'_  
"Words"  
(inner Kaede)

oOoOoOoOoOoOo

Busting in through the front door, I

Not wanting to run all the way to the casino, or rather, not wanting to have to deal with every single one of Crocodile's idiotic men, I quickly found the nearest house, broke into it, and stole a broom, having absolutely no idea where mine was.

When the owners heard me bust the door down, an incredibly over sized woman and a comically stick figure like man came running down a flight of stairs that stood just a little bit off to the side. When they saw me standing there, rummaging through there pantry, the woman shrieked and, as if by the grace of god, pulled a broom out of nowhere (actually, I know where it was, I'm just pretending for my sanity that I didn't see her reach between her legs), and started waving it at me.

Snapping out my wrist, I snatched the broom away from her (once again attempting, and failing, to notice where the broom had once found refuge), and headed out the door, shouting a quick thank you over my shoulder as I darted out into the street.

I only paused for a moment to grimace at what I was about to do, once again because I know where the broom had been, and tossed my leg over the broom before taking off into the air, aiming the handle straight for the casino's entrance.

While the broom wasn't nearly as fast as my usual one, it was still fast enough to get me to my destination relatively quickly. Once I reached the casino, I flew right in through the lobby, took a quick look around to figure out where the door I was looking for was before finally sighting it and flying straight for it.

**oOoOoOoOoOoOo**

I wish I could say that I was able to find my way through the casino without a problem, but if I said that, I would be lying through my teeth. Almost as soon as I entered the hallway, still flying high in the air, I seemed to have started to channel a little bit of Zoro through me, because every where I turned seemed to be a dead end.

First I went left, then right, and then another left, and came to a dead end. Then I went back one hallway, went to the right instead, then made another right, and came to a dead end, then went back and made a left, a right, and then another left, only to have the exact same thing happen yet again.

After a good ten or fifteen minutes of trying, I finally came to the realization that some of the hallways doubled back, meaning that I had been running in a complete circle over and over again without even realizing it.

Once I did, however, I decided to take a leaf out of Zoro and Sanji's books by taking my trusty mallet and knocking down the walls that were in my way.

Unfortunately, that wasn't the smartest idea. Apparently, the fact that I had almost completely decimated all of there men throughout the town had gone almost completely unnoticed somehow (though how, I will probably never know), but when I started knocking down the walls inside the casino...

Well, let's just say they noticed.

**oOoOoOoOoOoOo**

"Damn it! How many of you bastards are there?" I shrieked in annoyance as more and more men came flying down the hallway, swords and guns raised and aimed for the kill.

For the past thirty or so minutes, I had been knocking down man after man, trying desperately to kick the ass of each and every one of them while still making my way down the hallway in an attempt to find however the hell the crew had gotten to crocodile in the anime.

Sadly, it was such an inane detail of the series that I had never really submitted it to memory when I was either reading the manga, or watching the anime.

Well, that and it had been so long since I last saw the episode that I just couldn't remember. You know, come to think of it, it's been so long since I've read the manga or watched the anime that I would probably be going through withdraws by now if it wasn't for the fact that I'm actually living through the series.

Anyway, the point is, I couldn't remember how the heck to get to Crocodile's dining room, or whatever it had been, and the fact that I had to fight through a horde ugly bastards didn't exactly help matters either. Adding to that, I also had to hop off my broom after a few minutes of dealing with stupid men when it became apparent that attempting to fly while fighting them was rather pointless.

You see, the hallway wasn't very high or wide, so I couldn't actually sing my mallet very well while trying to fly and dodge the idiotic men.

So, against my better judgment (which was telling me the flying was quicker), I had hopped off of my broom and just started taking the idiots out one by one, all the while hoping that I wouldn't get shot by one of them.

Luckily, this turned out to be the quickest way to find crocodile, because, after just a few minutes of fighting one the floor, guess what happened? That's right, I finally remembered just how Luffy and the gang had gotten to crocodile's main room.

Via a trap door.

**oOoOoOoOoOoOo**

You know, I'm not really sure what it is, maybe it's the whole 'flying witch' thing, or maybe it's the fact that Luffy seems to like shooting all of us through the air like human cannonballs all the time, but whatever it is, for some reason, falling just doesn't really bug me all that much any more. The first time I fell, it was annoying and scary as all hell, but now, after so much time and so many falls, it's really not all that bad.

In fact, it's almost a calming feeling. It even gives you a kind tranquil feeling sometimes. What with the wind blowing through your hair, the gentle breeze caressing your skin. After all this time, it's become one of the few things that can actually calm my thoughts.

_'!'_

OK, so I lied. Can you really blame me? I mean, I have LUFFY as my captain. Think about it for a second, trust me. After everything I've been through since I've gotten here, falling is so much worse now then it used to be back in my old world.

I mean, in my old world, it was just a really painful death that awaited you at the end of your fall, or at the very least a sprang ankle or something, but now?

Come on, think about everything I've been through with falling since I've gotten here.

First, I fell through a strange portal in my closet back in my old world and ended up getting stuck in a freaky crystal hall with hundreds, if not thousands, of doors, and then I was nearly eaten by a shark (one that had the strange ability to hop, something that still scares the heck out of me)

After that, I fell onto the deck of a ship, and nearly got smashed to pieces by the elephant lady 'Lady Alvida'.

Then, I fell into a tree, got shot through the air, fell off the ship, fell into a whale, found out that some peoples noses are way more stretchy then others (don't ask, I'm still trying to wash the 'Luffy-boogers' out of my hair), and a million and one other things.

And you expect me to not freak out when I end up falling? What are you, nuts?

**oOoOoOoOoOoOo**

Luffy: AHHHH!

Fuyu: -blinks- Um.. What?

Luffy: Someone ate all my meat!

Lil' -Slap- Idiot, that was you.

lol

OK, yeah, I know some of you are probably really pissed about the note I made at the beginning of this chapter, and I bet that the rest of you didn't even read it, so here it is again, as it is kind of important:

**OK, I just want to say that firstly, this is not a good bye note. I do still plan to update this fic from time to time (proven by the fact that this IS an actual chapter update instead of just a note), but I think that we've all pretty much come to the understanding that it is incredibly hard for me to write more for this fic. My updates for it are almost none existent, and I am incredibly sorry for that. I will still try to update it, but I am saying it now, the updates for this fic are going to be few and far between because I've pretty much got the worst case of writer's block for this fic now. **

**However, I would like to note that I said 'for this fic', not 'for One piece' or 'in general'. The primary reason for my writer's block for this fic is because I ended up not updating for so freaking long because of loosing a little bit of interest in the anime at one point because, well, my interest went to trying, and failing, to write my book. The long time away from the fic made me grow a little bit away from it, and now I'm not even really sure what the heck is going on in the fic anymore. (I know that we are dealing with crocodile, but Apart from that, I'm kind of lost. I remember something about saving the she-man Wednesday or Thursday or something like that, bust I can't even remember if she's traveling with the crew right now or note)**

**However, now that I am taking a much needed break from attempting (and failing) to write my book (once again), I've decided to try to write a new one piece fic. **

**And guess what? Yep, it's yet another 'An OC falls into one piece' kind of thing. However, I decided that, since I have pretty much screwed all my current readers over (sorry), you guys get to decide the characters gender, power, the pairing, and if we skip over any of the arks (or rather, if we simply mention them in passing and move right by them to get to the other arks)**

Please check for polls in my profile, there is always one up.

Please review, the longer it takes for me to get reviews, the longer I take to update (why update if no one is reading?)


	12. Beta Reader Request

**Calling all Beta Readers. Calling all Beta Readers. I seriously need one of you...**

Ok, so look, i've been writing more chapters (i'm done with the next **MLIOP2:Zoro version**), but i've gotten so many complaints about my spelling and grammar that i have decided to get a **Beta Reader** first. with that said, i have asked, asked, and asked some more of the registered **Beta Readers**, but none of them have even replied to me (i just sent out yet another request to 3 new ones today at: 10/18/2012: 7:52 AM, so hopefully i might get ONE of them to at least reply to me, though i doubt it at this point.)

Anyway, the point is, if any of you are willing to beta for my fic (this one) or any other fic i have, please let me know. Just know that i DO write really long stories.


	13. No Nose is a Good Nose

**Chapter 1****2****: ****No Nose is a Good Nose.**

**Disclaimer: **I am in no way associated with any legal rights to one piece in any form, I do not own one piece or any part of the merchandising, gaming, manga, anime, characters, or anything of the sort. Oda owns it, I am simply a fan that wrote this for my own amusement as well as for the amusement of my friends. No money was made from this in any way, shape, or form. Please do not sue me as I do not have any money anyway. The only things that I own from this fic are my own original characters. I also do not own any of the Final Fantasy stuff, so please don't so me for using them in this either. Once again, I don't have any money, so please don't sue me.

**Summery: **This is the Zoro version of part 2 of my fanfic 'My Life In One Piece'. Read that first before you read this.

**Pairing:** Zoro/Kaede **Rating: **Currently it's only T, but I may very well change it to M at a later time. **Warnings:** I'm crazy, so you can pretty much expect anything.

**A/N1: **I KNOW ZORO IS ALSO CALLED ZOLO,

**YEAH! I have 2 new betas! **xdreamernumbuhfour & EdroGrimshell, both of whom are amazing (and putting up with my slow-ness) EdroGrimshell hasn't actually edited this chapter yet, he's fixing things in other chapters (I just have to actually impliment the edits in them later), but they _are _beta-ing the story. :D

**Lastly, I just wanted to air my thoughts about Kaede and the development of the story so far. Originally, I started to think that she was becoming a bit over powered, then I remembered that all of these same guys she was beating the crap out of were all easily taken down by Ussop, from single shots of his sling-shot. If that's the case, then technically, though her spells are strong and at a higher level then I thought they would be, she's still wasn't being 'Luffy strong' or even 'Zoro/Sanji strong'. It just seemed like she was ridiculously strong because of the number of them she took out.**

**I felt crappy about the fight before that, but after I realized that it wasn't actually as 'BA' as I thought it was, or over powered, I felt better, because it couldn't exactly be all that over powered when she's only beating the crap out of 'normal' people, who even Ussop could beat without trying.**

**However, I still cringe every now and then when I go back and read the story and realize how Marie freakin sue she looks. I still can't believe I never realized that she looked like a Marie Sue. I mean, she has white hair, tan skin, a cat tail, claws, yellow eyes with slitted-pupils… -Slams head on table-. I can't believe how I made her look. The only none Marie Sue things about her looks, at least from what I can remember, is that she doesn't have huge boobs, and her hair isn't 'long and flowing and moves this way and that when she walks', blah, blah, blah. I also don't think she's that tall, but honestly, I can't remember that part, it has been 3 years since I wrote her description… O-O holly crap, it's been 3 years since the story started?**

**Anyway, I just wanted to point out how I feel about the fight, but if you guys disagree with me, let me know in a review.**

Anyway, on with the show!

_'thoughts'_

"Words"

(inner Kaede)

**oOoOoOoOoOoOoOo**

Well, it's official. I can now honestly say that I've spent more time in Luffy's head then anyone else, and I am here to tell you, it's really messy in here.

Yes, you heard me right. I said that it's really messy in _here_, not in _there_, and now you are probably wondering why I would use the word 'here' instead of the word 'there'. Well, that might take a minute to explain, but I think I can give it a shot, though I seriously doubt that you'll like the explanation.

You see, there are several things that I absolutely hate with all of my heart. In fact, those several things are hated so much that I have actually put them on my list.

No, really, I have an actual written list for them, though I doubt that you are actually surprised by that. It's a rather short list, it's not written in the best of handwritings, and it doesn't have anything that spectacular on it. It's also sloppy, full of misspelled words, bad grammar, and a few sketches with the words 'die infidels, die' plastered all over it, but it's still my list.

However, there is one thing that I never thought that I would actually have to add to the list. Something that I doubt any woman, or person, animal, vegetable, or mineral for that matter, would ever think necessary to add to any sort of list, even if they are as insane as I am. Sadly, however, here I am, adding it, albeit mentally, to the list as the most hated thing.

I guess I'll just have to add it to the written list later. I'll even write it on top of that nasty stain I was going to rip out, you know- the one from Lil's hairball, just so that I'll always remember. Yep, it's definitely the one thing that I hate the most in the world, though its actual position on written list will be number fourteen, because I don't want to waist paper in order to just rewrite the whole thing:

Number fourteen of the things I hate the most: Falling into Luffy's nose.

And, yes, you did read that right

This is the **Fourth** time this has happened to me. Not the first, or the second, and it's not even just the third.

IT'S. THE. FOURTH.

Yes, that's right. The fourth. Now, you are probably wondering when the other times happened, well, that's because I decided, each and every time, to just block out the memory before it actually happened, and since all of this is from my point of view, that means you couldn't read about it.

What? That doesn't make sense? Get over it. I'm just special like that.

Anyway, when I fell through the trapdoor, though I will admit that this is just my guess, it seemed that everyone else was already in the cage under me. Everyone, including Ussop, Vivi, Choco, and Lil (which surprised me because I had thought that they had been killed by the sand) was there, and, apparently, they could hear me when I started screaming as I fell down the tunnel leading to the cage.

Well, you know Luffy; he's not the brightest person in the world. It seems that instead of trying to catch me, which is both what a normal person would have done and what the idiot _should_ have done, he did something very _Luffy-ish _instead.

What? You've never heard of something being Luffy-ish before? Well, here's a definition for you;

**Definition: Luffy-ish : Something both incredibly stupid and exactly the opposite of what you should OBVIOUSLY do.**

You see, instead of trying to _catch _me, like a normal person, he instead chose to simply walk over to the hole in the roof of the cage, the one that leads down from the trap door, and just looked up, trying to _'see if someone was falling down the hole'._

OF COURSE SOMEONE WAS FALLING DOWN THE FREAKIN HOLE!

What on earth was that man – boy, rubber idiot of a captain of mine – thinking?! If you hear someone screaming at the top of their lungs, and it's coming from the top of a long dark tunnel that leads straight down, and it's getting louder and louder, almost as if it was coming towards you, then what would YOU think is happening?

And the worst part of it all? HE'S MADE OF FLIPPIN RUBBER.

Now, I bet you are wondering: how did his rubbery-ness cause this little side show of horror? Simple. Since his body is made of rubber, his head stretches, and he was looking up when I landed.

Get the picture?

No? Ok, I'll explain it a bit further:

You see, if I had landed on top of a normal person, then they would have either died from a crushed skull on impact, or they would have just been slammed into the floor (since this IS an anime based world). However, Luffy isn't a normal person. As pointed out before, he _is_, in fact, made of rubber. That means that every part of his body stretches to unimaginable proportions.

Including his nose.

That little fact, in and of itself, was what has led to this horrible, horrible moment. This moment (which will most definitely cause me more therapy in the future than any other point in my life) was all because of his rubbery-ness. There were people pulling on my legs and feet while my head, shoulders, and upper arms were all jammed inside the rubber idiot's nostril. Also, Sanji was just making things worse by grabbing onto my left butt cheek and upper thigh instead of grabbing my legs; anything to cop a feel I guess.

I could tell that Lil and Choco were clearly part of the 'pulling team', because Lil's claws were dug into my calf and Choco's beak was clamped onto my heel.

I'm getting molested, scratched, bitten, and pulled on. I don't know whether I should feel dirty, call my lawyers, or cry in a corner.

The sad thing is, this doesn't even count as the worst day of my life. It's not even on the 'top ten' list. Hell, I'm not even sure if it would make the top fifty. (BN: That _is_ bad. I would think Little Garden would be somewhere in that top fifty though, what with the earwax thing.)

Well, good, because it is in the top fifty. Actually, I think it's in the top twenty and the worst part about that one is, I didn't even get a proper bath. Now please get out of my head, Miss Beta lady, I'm trying to cry in private here, thank you.

Now where was I? Oh, yeah. My life: it sucks.

Anyway, I couldn't really hear what they were saying. However, I could hear someone laughing in the background – Crocodile most likely – and I swear I could hear Usopp screaming something about how 'I had obviously been trying to get him killed with the whole exploding-giant-hippo lady thing,' but I couldn't actually _tell_ if that was really him or my imagination.

Thankfully, my horror and pity fest was interrupted, though I seriously doubt if the intruding event really counts as an improvement.

For the second time in my life – or was it the third? Ack, it doesn't matter! The point is, for what I was pretty sure was only the second time in my entire life, something happened. It was a something that gave me one really over-powered headache, something that I was starting to wish I had never pretended could happen to me in the first place (seeing as I was starting to feel completely sure that it was what had caused me to have this little ability to begin with) [seemed kind of thought-like again]. You know, the whole 'be careful what you wish for' thing.

I had a vision.

Now, the last time I had a vision – the one where a dolphin nearly sank the ship – I had come out of it with a horrible headache afterwards. Not only that, but I also vaguely remember something about a hypersensitivity issue as well, where all the sound around and beneath the ship seemed to increase to such an unbelievable level that it had been almost impossible to stand, _and_, if I remembered it correctly, the lights weren't exactly all that friendly with my eyes at the time either.

However, that had all happened after the vision. When the first vision had hit me, time itself had been frozen in place, leaving the world at a standstill and discoloring everything before overlaying the vision on top of it. It had been as if my eyes had suddenly turned into a really old TVs that, for some reason, couldn't separate the signals of 2 different channels and just ended up showing both on top of each other.

Not only that, but the vision (though brief) had slammed into my mind's-eye (I guess you could say) with such force that I had nearly blacked out. I remember ending up on the floor of the ship, staring up at everyone, and wondering how I had gotten there.

Thankfully, this vision wasn't nearly as painful as that one, though it was surprisingly longer.

However, for the bad TV part, I'm not quite sure whether or not I should be happy that that didn't happen this time, because what did happen was almost just as bad, just in a very different way.

Granted, it was much easier to see what was actually going on in the vision. Even though I had somehow been able to understand it perfectly the last time as well, it was almost as hard on the eyes as the first one had been. You see, when this vision happened, instead of my mind simply overlaying the vision on top of everything, it instead chose to have this very 'That 70s Show' kind of back drop.

You know, where there are a bunch of overly bright colors swirling in the background, just trying to make you throw up? Like the music video to Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds? Yeah, the Beatles were tripping when they wrote that.

Yeah, that's what I was stuck with.

I would have been fine if that was all it was, but sadly the colors were moving, swirling, and whirling so fast that it made me feel as if I had somehow good into a funhouse while still on a rollercoaster or something.

If it wasn't for the fact that all the colors were moving so fast that they would have caused someone prone to seizures to collapse almost instantly, it probably wouldn't have been nearly as bad. Heck, I might have even found it amusing, or started dancing to it.

Groovy, man.

I wonder how long until we get Brook, anyway? Sorry, side thought.

Anyway, even if the vision had been handed out in a less eye-destroying way, it still would have been incredibly confusing. It was also a bit harder to understand what exactly was happening in this vision because everything was moving backwards. It was as if someone had put in a really bad 'trippy' movie and hit rewind while I was watching it.

I couldn't remember a single thing from either the anime or the manga that had been anything like what I saw in the vision. In fact, as far as I know, nothing in either of them even resembled what I was seeing.

It also didn't help that the last vision had been an almost instantaneous one, meaning that the events in it had happened almost as soon as the vision was over. This one, on the other hand, wasn't anything like that. I mean it couldn't exactly be something that was going to be happening anytime soon, seeing as the vision had several features in it that were completely impossible to find anywhere near a desert, and seeing as Alabasta is a desert island…

Well, I guess you get the picture.

After the eye-killing color display started, the vision slammed into my head at an alarming speed – again – much like a tape on rewind. It started off on the edge of a mountain overlooking a large cliff with a waterfall. Down below the waterfall was a lush, green, forested valley, completely surrounded on all sides by huge mountains.

The forest, though huge and full of life, looked as though someone had set off a few bombs around its edges and throughout it. There were broken trees everywhere, and rocks that looked like they had been pulverized rather than crushed.

Wherever this was, as stated before, it obviously couldn't be anywhere near Vivi's kingdom, since the waterfall and lush forest kind of proved that. It had way too much green, and I couldn't see a speck of sand.

However, the normal portion of the vision quickly ended there, because what followed was by far the oddest sight I have ever laid eyes on… and I live with _Luffy_.

Not to mention the giants, crystal hall, fishmen, Lil, Usopp, my magic, and the mystery of Sanji's right eye that I have to deal with.

I mean, seriously, does Sanji even have a right eye? I know Oda said it was basically supposed to be the 'eighth great wonder of the universe,' but sheesh, I live with him and I don't think I've ever seen it… I'll have to look into that later.

The point is, the only improvement in this vision was probably the fact that I could actually move in this one. That was something I hadn't been able to do in the last one. However, as soon as I had taken a single step towards the waterfall, that's when everything started to move in reverse.

The water that had been falling from the waterfall started floating back up it, and the river leading up to it started to flow in the opposite direction, much like the Nile River, or my aunt Edna's drool when she hears that the food is all sugar and fat free.

For some reason, that always seems to make her loose her apatite.

The clouds and the sun in the sky both started to follow along with the river, moving backwards towards the direction that I somehow automatically knew they had come from.

As soon as the waterfall – and everything else – started moving in reverse, the shadows, cast by the mountains themselves started to come alive. The long inky shadows moved, stretched, and curled through the valley, un-snapping at things, un-breaking all the rocks, and un-destroying trees. It was like watching a really cheesy horror movie in reverse, only this horror movie was very real and I knew (seeing as it _was _a vision of the future) that the crew and I would be encountering it at some point in the future.

Whatever the shadows were, when they had come out of their hiding spots in normal time, they must have destroyed anything they could touch. It was a miracle that the forest, the river, and anything at all hadn't been destroyed by them or it, unless it was, or rather _would be_, a recent occurrence on the island.

As I watched, transfixed with horror at the sight of whatever that thing - or _those _things – were, new life, or rather old life that had been wiped out by the shadows, was reborn. Birds that must have been snapped out and… _eaten_ by the shadows, or imprisoned, or whatever had been done to them, were released in mid flight.

'_What kind of shadows could swallow up something alive?__' _I wandered in horror.

At some point, and I'm not quite sure when, either the vision had moved me or I had moved myself without realizing it. When the shadows finally stopped, I was in a completely different place.

Instead of standing near a waterfall, I was standing deep within the forest the island held. There were trees everywhere, lush, green, and full of life. Either the shadows hadn't been able to reach this section of the forest or this was from before the shadows started to destroy everything. I wasn't really sure which it was but either way, the place was very much untouched by whatever the horror of shadows had been.

Wondering why I had been brought to this particular moment in time (mostly because there didn't seem to be anything important happening – or anything happening at all for that matter) I slowly ran a critical eye over everything within the area.

Of course, I'm sure you can see where this is going. Why is it that every time you end up in some unknown place, you always end up facing the wrong direction? The upside is I think I just invented a new universal law. We'll call it 'Murphy's Law's ugly sister: The Law of Location'.

Now, how does this law work, you ask? Well, basically, it simply states that when it comes to a location – and any event involving it – then at least one of three things will always be off: the location, the direction, or the time.

For example, if you are in the right place at the right time, then you are facing the wrong direction. It's as simple as that, and as far as I remember of my entire life, I don't think it's ever been wrong.

Or, at least, it hasn't been wrong since I got stuck in this crazy world.

The point is, as soon as I turned my head far enough to the side to see what was behind me, I saw something out of the corner of my eye that caught my attention.

A ship.

Yes, you read that correctly. There, sitting on the ground in the middle of the forest, was a medium sized ship. However, it wasn't the fact that the ship was sitting in a completely dry place that made it truly a remarkable sight; it was the fact that it was a _fiber-glass _boat. You know, the white ones you see in THE REAL WORLD.

I mean, for crying out loud, it's _fiber-glass. _They don't even know what that is in this world, so how the heck would a _fiber-glass boat _be here?

Those kind of boats, both the fiber-glass-makeup of the ship and the style – which was a speedboat by the way – aren't found anywhere in this world.

The kind of motors and propellers you found in my world, however, as well as the kind of small boats and ships you find them on in my world, with the exception of steamboats, don't have those kinds of limitations. Furthermore, the technology in this world is so far behind the technology from my world that they just aren't found in this world, and this thing was most definitely the kind from my world.

What the frick?

As soon as my mind finished processing what it was I was seeing, my mind went to the very place I had intentionally made sure that I didn't think about since I got here.

Home.

This thing, this boat, this gas powered contraption from a world I _really_ didn't want to think about, was from home.

But the vision was definitely of the One Piece world, and if that was the case, that would mean that I wasn't the only person to come here…

I mentally slapped myself for being stupid and having completely forgotten the fact that half of my family was apparently from here and living here, including my father, my Aunt (sort of) Pinako, and most likely some of my other relatives.

I guess I was just so used to seeing family almost constantly back home, that even after all this time (how long had it been?) in the One Piece world, I just sort of forgot that things from my world had been popping up since I got here.

Granted, most of those had come from the froggy bag, but you get the picture.

Still, seeing a speed boat here of all plac-.

…

Wait a sec. That speed boat has a motor… I need that! I need that for my Sharkmarin!

Or was shark-sub? Ach, whatever: I need that thing!

The few motors you could find in this world, as far as I could remember from the anime and manga, or have seen for my self, were all either steam based, pedal based, or based on some sort of thing that you just couldn't get back in my world.

I mean, sure, there's Franky's cola engines, the sea train, and the sky islands dials, but those are very rare and are only seen at very specific locations do to their limitations.

The kind of motors in this world, like Franky's cola engine, the sea train, and the dials, were all so limited because they couldn't work in most situations.

Franky's cola engine only works for a few second, then needs a long rest afterwards. That means that you can use it for a few seconds, but then you're just stuck wherever you land unless you plan to travel by sail anyway.

That's kind of pointless.

The engine on the sea train is a coal-based-steam-powered, and therefore doesn't actually have the shear power that you would need to make a propeller push water. Yes, I know: the sea train is really fast, which contradicts my statement. The thing is, I said it can't move propellers very well, not that it couldn't turn wheels fast.

Basically, steam-engines move great on land (and in this worlds case, on water), but that's on _**something. **_Moving on something is a lot easier then moving _**through**_something. Not to mention the fact that water is naturally slick, so any quick movement on top of it would naturally make you slide, which was actually shown in the manga and anime, remember? That was why they had to have the tracks in the first place. Without the tracks, it was nearly impossible for them to control the sea-train.

Moving through water, however, is very different. In the end, steam engines and coal engines just don't have the power needed to make propellers move in water at high speed, which is why steam boats are so slow, and if you try to travel on top of the water, then you won't have very much control of the ship.

Lastly: the dials. Yes, I know the sky island dials are great, and cool, and can make a really small ship move very quickly, but you are forgetting 3 things.

1) I need the engine to run under water, and we have no idea how the dials would do in that kind of a situation. In the air and above the sea is one thing, but under the sea is something else entirely.

2) Dials have to constantly be 're-charged'. remember, you have to first store the wind in them before you could use them. That means if you run out of 'wind' in the dial while under water (which is very likely) then you're stuck.

3) Let's forget issue number 1 for a minute, and say they _do_ work fine under water. I already stated this with the sea-train, but moving on the sea is a lot easier then moving through the sea. In order to be able to move the sub at a decent speed, I would need at least, _**at least **_3 times the amount of dial-power as a ship of the same size traveling _on the sea _would need. Now, with that said, please note that the dial on Nami's waver was _**huge, and that my shark sub is considerably bigger then the waver. **_

As I said, the motors from this world have WAY to many limitations.

Before I could even fully turn around to go get a better look at the motor that I was already planning to hunt down as soon as the vision ended (and after we dealt with Crocodile, of course) the vision froze, and slowly faded out.

You know, surprisingly, I completely forgot all about the painful-dancing-colors about half-way through the vision but, sadly, when the vision ended the headache that had originally been caused by them decided to show it's ugly head, causing me to momentarily go cross-eyed from the sudden pain.

"Sanji! Stop trying to cop-a-feel and help us already! Pervert!"

'_Hm, so that's what that feeling on my ass was… I should really thank Nami for stopping that.'_ I thought emotionlessly, unable to even feel annoyed with him over it. _'You know, as often as crap like this happens, I'm actually getting kind of used to it… should I be worried about that?'_

Seriously, how do I always get myself into these kinds of things anyway? It's almost as if there is some sort of curse on me or something. I think I'll call it the Curse of the Luffy. It's the only thing I can come up with, but it has to be the answer.

After a few more tugs, another grope, and a few more scratches on my leg (the last courtesy of Lil), I finally realized something that I really, really didn't like.

Crocodile wasn't laughing anymore.

That's not a good sign. That's not a good sign at all. If that man – as vicious and twisted as he is – isn't laughing, then that means he's no longer finding any of this amusing or he's getting impatient. Either way, it isn't a good thing.

I racked my brain for something, _anything_, that might be able to get me out of this situation, knowing that I only had a small amount of time before the island killing nut job starts killing people with his freaky sand, or turns Vivi into a living mummy in annoyance.

'_Oh, come on, it can't be that hard to come up with something! Think, girl! Think!' _I thought desperately. _'What about- no, how about- no. Dang it! Oh! I know!'_

Of course, there was always the chance that it wouldn't work, especially seeing as I was having trouble moving my hands and the fact that I didn't know what hand gesture I was supposed to use for it. However, I had been on a bit of a roll with my spells lately, so maybe…

Sadly, almost as soon as my mind came up with the worst possible scene it could have come up with, I heard Crocky voice his annoyance at being either ignored or delayed.

"I grow tired of waiting, Strawhat." His voice rang out loud and clear.

'_Oh crap'_, I though in panic, knowing that whatever he was going to do was something that I wouldn't like… or be able to live through. _'Well I guess it's now or never.'_

Mustering up as much focus as I could, I shouted, "Minimize!"

**oOoOoOoOoOoOoOo**

Strawhat crew (Choco, and Kaede included, but not Lil): -Glares-

Fuyu: -blinks- Um... What?

Nami: What took you so long? You've been away for so long, don't you know that the longer you take, the longer I have to wait for my payment for protecting Vivi?

Usopp: Do you know how terrifying it was to be stuck in that cage all this time?

Luffy: WHERE'S MY MEAT?

Everyone but Luffy: SHUT UP!

Lil: I don't know what you guys are complaining about, I've been completely fine.

Zoro: Yeah, but you didn't have to wait in here with us, you live with that nut job in the real world!

Everyone: …

Chopper: You mean I'm not real? WHAT? I'M CALLING MY AGENT, NO ONE SAID ANYTHING ABOUT ME NOT BEING REAL!

Kaede: Where the hell is Sanji anyway?

Choco: Kwai…

**oOoOoOoOoOoOoOo**

Anyway, everyone, that's a rap. The next chapter will be the end of the Alabasta ark, and then we will start my first ever, all new ORIGINAL ark.

:D

[Beta(xdreamernumbuhfour):know, after reading about what happened with Luffy's nose, I couldn't help but wonder how the nose's owner felt about the entire thing...]


End file.
